This bloody Maze (A Newt Fanfiction)
by mondonxx
Summary: Celia wakes up in that metal cage. She is the first girl to ever come up in the box. While she begins to get used to her surroundings, and getting comfortable with the guys, she suddenly has a panic attack… How could the boys ever cope with her? (Written in the time period just before Thomas comes up - imagine that Thomas has been delayed) STORY, ETC. BELONGS TO JAMES DASHNER!
1. Chapter 1

I woke up in a freezing, smelly, metal cage. I feel bags, buckets, and satchels cushioning me as I sit up. "Hello?" I asked. My voice echoed above and below me. I stood up, wobbling slightly, before pressing my face into the cold metal links. _Where am I?_ I ask myself, and search my memory for clues, but I come up short. I press into my mind further, searching for my past, but the only thing that came forward was my name. _Celia. _I have no idea what I look like, who my parents were, where I come from… yet I remember every fact and every word I had in my vocabulary. I could speak fine, and I could still cook and sew and build if I wanted to, but I had no idea when I learnt those skills, who taught them, anything personal about them. I felt panic grip me, but I calmed myself, telling myself;_ There's no point in panicking if you can't see a solution._

I look up, and there's a red light.

"Hey? Is anyone there?" I ask. _No use, _I thought to myself. I sat down, wrapping my arms around my legs, and waited. For what, I had no idea. Yet I figured _something_ had to happen, soon. I steadied my breathing, waiting...

Suddenly, I heard loud gears clinking and groaning loudly, echoing off the walls like my voice did not 5 seconds ago. I felt myself being jerked up roughly, as the cage began to move.

I watched the chains above me as flashes of light - from who knows where - illuminated them. I grip the thick netting of wire for support and to keep me steady, and waited.

I waited.

Far above me, it sounded like I could hear sirens, but as soon as I heard them, they ceased. Suddenly, light opened up above me, and brightness blinded me. I shaded my eyes quickly, before slowly opening them, adjusting to the light. I saw figures above me, crowding around my… pit? Two figures stepped down and opened the top. "Well, Alby, you gonna stand there? Show us the new Greenie!" a male voice yelled. A male? I suddenly felt nervous. _I don't think I've been around guys a lot, in my past life,_ I thought. A strong, young guy with very dark skin was the first person I could make out - he was fiddling with a rope. _One person at a time,_ I told myself. I turned slowly on the spot, getting used to the light, and saw a bunch of ragged-looking guys crowding around the top. There was an asian guy, who looked extremely muscular, and a boy with a square jaw and dirty blonde hair, a guy who glared down at me (_The bully, obviously, _I told myself), another dark-skinned guy who looked quite friendly, a small kid of no more than 14 who was cute and chubby - the list went on, but the first guy I saw had lowered the rope - it had a loop at the end. I stepped into it and grabbed the rope, while the guys hauled me up.

There was silence.

I suddenly felt a surge of confidence, staring at these dumbfounded guys (_I don't think there are any girls around here, _I thought) and said, in my best comfortable, joking voice; "Well, you're a bunch'a talkative chaps aren't ya?"

A couple of the guys turned away - I saw their cheeks lift in a smile. "Everyone, back to work! I see any of you klunk-heads gawking' before then, it'll be a night in the Slammer." The first guy ordered. _Klunk? _I laughed to myself in my mind. I loved the slang here already - loose and easy-going. Everyone but the blonde and who I supposed was the leader (the first guy) shuffled away. He stuck out his hand. "Alby," he said, looking me in the eye. "Celia," I said, grabbing his hand. "This here is Newt." Alby said, carelessly gesturing at the blonde beside him. Newt nodded, but didn't say anything.

"Now what we gonna do here…" mused Alby. "Sorry, what do you mean?" I asked. "This one'll stick by the rules, no problem." muttered Newt. "Hear how she talks. All nice, hm." I detected a trace of a British accent. To be honest, I shouldn't be checking out guys when I can't even remember anything and I'm stuck with a bunch of guys, but he was sorta cute, especially with the accent. "What do you mean?" I asked again. Alby eyed me. "No other she-shanks here." He said. "Sorry, what? _She-shanks?_" I ask incredulously. "It's how we talk," Newt explained. "Glade lingo." _Now they're speaking friggin' pirate speak, _I thought to myself, smiling inwardly.

"We gotta treat her the same. No other option." Alby murmured. "Still, it means change." Newt said, staring at me. "We just gotta ride the waves, weather the storm. It'll pass. I hope." Alby said. I raised my eyebrow, and folded my arms. "Please tell me this means you're done talking like I'm not even here." I snort. Newt coughed to hide a small chuckle. "Like your guts, girl, but don't get on the wrong side of anyone. Got it?" Alby asked, glaring at me. "Got it. Sorry." I say. Usually, I'm the shy one - but I can see that I can't be girly and shy here. I'll have to make my confident side come out. Which is rather small, but… it's something?

"Right, well, Newt'll take you on the tour. Hopefully, you'll understand him - he talks so weirdly, aye, ya shank!" Alby nudged him, before leaving. Newt didn't look put off at all. "He meant your accent?" I ask. He nodded, smiling briefly before his face lapsed back into the serious expression he seemed to always wear. I smile to myself. _But that's the cutest thing I've ever heard! That I can remember._

"What you gigglin' bout there!" Newt said harshly. "You got a problem with my accent, you gotta bloody deal with it." "I don't have a problem with your accent!" I say, raising my hands in peace. "Then what you smiling about?" "Just inside thoughts." I say. He shook his head - "Bloody girls," I heard him mutter - before he grabbed my forearm and pulled me along.

"This is the Glade. We call ourselves Gladers. There are three rules: Never, ever, go into the Maze." I immediately wanted to bombard him with questions, but I sensed he wasn't in a good mood, so I held my tongue. "Number two: Never hurt another Glader. Number three: Do your part. Remember those. If you break them, you might get banished. The Maze, that's out there. You see them four walls? We're stuck right in the middle of the Maze. Banished is when you're pushed out into the Maze at dusk, when the walls to the Maze close. And nobody, ever, survives a night in the Maze. Got it?" "Right… but what's in the Maze?" "You don't wanna know." He said gruffly.

"That's the Gardens, over there's the Deadheads, the Bloodhouse, and the Homestead. The Glade is in four sections. Gardens, crops. Deadheads, forest, and in the corner back there is where the graveyard is. It's where we hang. Bloodhouse, where we raise and slaughter the animals. The Homestead, where we live." He gestured around us, showing the raggedly build huts, the forest, the animal pens… I figured they had built pretty much everything. It was pretty impressive.

"We got groups of guys doing different jobs. Of those groups, there are one Keeper per group, who keep them in line. If you don't work hard, expect a whack. There's the kitchen, track hoes, runners, slicers… you'll see them all. All the greenies go between each job, we see where they fit best, then they get chosen after a couple days. We all work. It's what keeps us together and running smooth. Take note: Frypan, he's the head of the kitchen - he's the best bloody cook you will ever meet. Enjoy his food." He grinned at me.

"Right, well, we got a bonfire tonight - traditional, to celebrate new greenies. You're the guest of honour. Be there. Until then… well, look at that. Doors're closing already. They must be preparing the bonfire. C'mon."

I followed him, and saw a bright light flare up, and hear the crackle of the wood. Some drums started up, and I looked over in shock. "Where did he get those drums?" I ask. "Came with him. Something to do with his past." Newt replied. He was handed a jar by who I named the bully fully of dark amber liquid, which reminded me of honey. "Yeay!" The guys cheered, as they clinked the jars (of varying sizes). The bully walked over to me, two jars in hand. "Here," he said, grinning, "Try this. My own concoction - it's a secret recipe. I'm Gally, by the way, and who're you?" "Celia," I say, as I accept the jar.

Newt was sitting down behind a log, so I joined him. He looked up. "You don't have to bugging follow me round everywhere, you know!" He said. "I know, but who else do I know?" I ask, sliding down beside him. "What's this stuff like?" I ask, undoing the top of the jar. He grinned - did I detect a hint of malice in his eyes? - and said "Just try it. You'll see."

I noticed that most of the guys around me had stopped to watch me do this, silly grins lighting up their faces. I guessed this would be either disgusting or strong, so I prepared myself. I felt a small tug at my chest - I wasn't used to being the centre of attention, and it made me a little nervous - but I ignored it.

I took a small sip of the stuff and felt like my mouth was being burned, it was so strong. I nearly coughed it up, but with all the guys watching my reaction, I forced myself to swallow. It was like swallowing fire, and my eyes watered so much I had to quickly swipe my eyes. I heard laughs - "You cryin', girly?" "Hah, the stuff's too strong for her. Should toughen her up real good." - before choking out "Wow. This stuff is… absolutely *cough* great." I laughed at myself croakily, while literally 3/4 of the entire group of guys burst into laughter, hooting and yelling. Feeling daring, I took another sip. This one was a lot easier than the first - I knew what to expect, and my mouth and throat felt all burned out anyway. They fell silent again, waiting for me to say something.

The attention was all on me, and for some reason, I couldn't take it. I stared around at everyone, and started to shake. All I could think was, _What do I say! What do I say! _Their faces didn't change, and someone said "Go on, then. You think you can take it?"

Pain, in my chest. It was literally like my lungs were being crushed. I choked for a moment, and I felt my eyes widen.

I could hardly breathe.

"You alright, greenie?" Newt asked. "Did you choke?" I felt my heart pounding, and suddenly, everyone's faces were spinning, and I felt nauseous. I was shaking very hard, and I began sweating like crazy.

_Let it stop, please, please, let it stop._ _I can't breathe. _Everything zoned out, and I curled into a ball, and squeezed my eyes shut. I clapped my hands to my ears - I needed to block out the world, it was too much, too overwhelming, I couldn't take it–

Time passed so slowly. I just needed it to end, the pain, everything, it was too much, stop it, it hurts, it hurts, it hurts, someone stop this, no–

My body froze up, it was too overwhelming, someone stop it–

Darkness...

**Hi! This is like, my first ever fanfic! Please review down below, etc. It would be much appreciated!**

**I have had no experience with social anxiety (apart from being socially awkward XD) or panic attacks. I looked up some symptoms, but to those of you who DO experience those things, I'm sorry if I'm a bit off the mark.**

**Long long long first chapter because it's the hols :3**

**Will update tomorrow.**

**~mondonxx**

**UPDATE! I have had someone helping me a lot with how social anxiety and panic attacks go, so thank you so so so so so much to Sakura Ann Kinimo-san for helping me with what a panic attack is like! I changed the story slightly so hopefully it's a bit better now!**


	2. Chapter 2

"Wow, man, that was intense." "So she basically just freaked out and fainted?" "I still say she was just being a massive drama queen."

My eyes open, to a couple of guys leaning over me. "Oh look, it lives." Gally says. Everyone was there, frowning down at me. "What the shuck!? I told you slintheads to get back to the Homestead! Go on, get!" Alby yelled. I sighed with relief.

This is so embarrassing.

"Med-jacks? What the hell happened?" demanded Alby. The two guys leaning over me frowned, and sat back. "Not sure, man. Something mental."

How could I deal with this? There's no kind of therapy in this place, the 'med-jacks' as they call them, which I suppose are the doctors, would be as clueless as everyone else here. Self-therapy? But what the hell does that include?

"It's social anxiety, okay?" I say, almost angrily. I felt defensive - fear and embarrassment was driving me to be aggressive, and to push everyone away. "It leads to panic attacks. That's it. No need for medical help, I already know what the problem is. You can't help, okay?" I stare at the two med-jacks, as they stand there. They seem unsure what to do. "Please, just, LEAVE!" I scream, trying to restrain myself from shoving them. I couldn't be here right now!

When they don't move fast enough, I clench my fists, and try to exercise out the anger and humiliation. I end up kicking the log as hard as I could. My foot hurt, but I hardly cared. The log rolled slightly, before settling again. "Fucking hell!" I scream, kicking the log again, harder.

I didn't even realize I was crying until Alby said, "Slim it, greenie! And we have no use for crybabies around here, even if you are a she-shank." I swipe angrily at my eyes and fold my arms. "I'm sorry, okay? I just need some time to myself. I'll be in… the Deadheads, in the forest, okay?" I say, trying to still my shaking. I trudge away, breathing heavily.

I slide down the trunk of a tree, and try to stifle my desperate sobs. _What do I do?_ I ask myself. _I'm around a bunch of BOYS and I just happen to have social anxiety and friggin' panic attacks! I must look so weak. _I buried my face in my hands, holding my breath in an attempt to stop those awful, desperate sobs.

"No-one thinks you're weak, you know." I jump violently and curse loudly, scared out of my wits. It was dark, but I made out Newt, who was leaning against a tree trunk casually, arms folded. Did I say those thoughts out loud? "We're all clear that you can't help them. Those slintheads who think that all girls are like this are being cleared up about it now." I frowned. "How would you know any better?" I ask. "Well, I figured that we're all human, right? Anyway, I know that any kind of condition can sorta happen to anyone, right? Not just either gender." This was technically not true, some things are female or male only, but I got where he was coming from. I frowned even deeper. He seemed intelligent to come up with that thought that quickly.

"Off to sleep with ya. Everyone else is knocked out. Come on, I'll show you where you're sleeping." I sighed, but followed him to the Homestead.

…

A hand closed over my mouth. My eyes flew open, and I tried to scream, but stopped quickly when I realized it was Newt. "Shh." he whispered, then beckoned me to follow him.

We walked, and as we did, I noticed he had a slight limp. "Newt, where'd you get your limp from?" I asked. He frowned at me, before his head turned back in the direction we were walking. "Look through there. Every greenie sees this, on the morning of their second day. Frightens the klunk out of 'em, I might add." He says, unsmiling. I stepped up to the glass and looked through. "There's nothing there." I say. "Patience, greenie." He smirks.

Several minutes pass by as I stare out into the dull Maze. It had vines creeping up its walls. It looked forbidding, dark… then I hear small clicking noises, becoming louder. I glance back at Newt, who's smirking again, and peer through.

I saw a robotic leg, bent like a spider's, move into sight. Its foot(?) clicked against the ground. Slowly, the whole thing moved into sight.

It was ghastly. A cross between a sort of robot and a giant spider with a scary, witch-like face, it clicked slowly towards me, examining me. It's only as it comes closer when I notice a huge needle, sort of like a syringe, attached to it. I watch it with fear, but also fascination. I've never seen anything remotely like this before.

It opened its mouth and shrieked, a terrible sound that made the hair on the back of my neck stand on end. A shiver ran through my body. "This is why we never, ever, go into a Maze, apart from the runners. You got it?" "Loud and clear," I whisper back. "Hm. I thought you'd be screaming bloody murder by now." I turn around, shuddering, to see Newt looking interestedly at me. "Isn't screaming what girls do when they're scared?" I give a shaky grin. "Most, I admit. I don't know if I don't at all, or if this is the only scene I haven't screamed in. Can we get out of here?" Without waiting for his answer, I stride back to the Homestead, where guys were crankily standing up, stretching.

**Ugh, this wasn't as good as my first chapter. Sorry, I'm just tired. We've been away on holiday, so I have to adjust to 4 hours ahead, and I'm getting to sleep at like 1:30am.**

**Favourite, review (PLEASE! I'VE ONLY GOT ONE OUT OF LIKE 55 VIEWS!), etc.**

**Special thanks to that reviewer, bookunicornx 3 you made my day :D**

**~mondonxx**


	3. Chapter 3

Over the next few days, I was tossed around the jobs to see which job I was best at. I was physically weak, and therefore I did terribly with building (Gally must have yelled at me at least 4 times before he shoved me off to the kitchen), but I was pretty good at cooking, and not bad with the track-hoes, although again, I was pretty weak to be digging out crops. The med-jacks showed me their equipment and sort of quizzed me what they were for, and how best to treat this and that, and I was pretty good with that too. I worked hard with the Sloppers - they said I was amazing at it, but I think they were a bit sexist, and thought girls deserved the lowest job of cleaning and all that. In retaliation, I slowed down the work a lot - not quite enough to get called a slinthead, but enough to drive them crazy. I told the baggers flat-out that I'd be terrible with disposing of bodies - I'd be retching and afraid to touch them. I entered the Bloodhouse - only to run out again, trying not to scream my head off (I refused to eat any meat that night).

In the end, they called a Gathering, and Alby assigned me the role of a cook. Unfortunately for me, when Alby turned to me and said "You happy about being with Frypan?" and everyone's eyes turned to me, I stared around and started to panic.

I had opened my mouth, but nothing came out. I wanted them to stop staring. Their eyes bore holes into me, and I shrunk back. "Yeah," I breathe, and it's inaudible. "Huh?" Alby frowned. "Didn't hear that." And I had a panic attack right there. Their eyes scared me. All on me. Everything on me. Everyone waiting for me to say something. The pressure crushed my lungs, again. This time, Newt and Chuck (who's become a real friend these days) shooed away everyone and sat beside me, rubbing my back and soothing me. I felt ridiculous, like a baby. When I calmed down, I wanted to cry. How stupid! Weak! Embarrassing! I told Newt and Chuck thanks, but then told them to please go away. And I sobbed. These just freaked me out.

But apart from that, all went well for a week.

I wake up as normal, stretch, then try and remember anything about my past. I do this daily now - I can't get used to the fact that no-one knows their past! I sit up, throw the thin blanket off me, only to gasp in horror at the stains on the cot.

_Of course I got my friggin' period. Of COURSE. Can't they send anything up for this?_ I try not to panic, and pull the blanket over, to try and hide the stains.

Shit. What do I do now? Would they have sent them up with the supplies? I think it comes today, didn't they say it comes up every week…?

"Hey she-shank! What are you still doing in bed! You're supposed to be making breakfast!" Frypan yelled, walking over to me. I look down at my pants, and panic. I can't go like this. "I got a bit of a problem. I'll be with you in a sec." "What PROBLEM! You get your ass over here, slinthead!" "I just can't, okay! I'll be with you in a moment!" I quickly legged it to the "bathroom" and found the rough, thin toilet paper there. I shove them down. They'll have to do. I'll just say I spilt some sauce on my pants last night.

"And what the hell were you doing?" Frypan yelled, brandishing a roughly cut spatula of wood so that a few bits of food flung toward me. "Frypan, never MIND! I'll work really hard, okay? It won't happen again." I glare at him. He stares at me, before thunking me on the head and turning back to the meat skewers.

I skewered the meat and lettuce, quickly, and set them over the makeshift grill. Another day in the Glade… the boring Glade. It's the same every single day. My mind wandered, wondering how to get out of here, wondering how close to finding a way out the Runners were. I absent-mindedly flip the skewers I had set, and carried on cooking…

"Supplies are up!" someone yelled. Since it was free time for me, I dashed over to see what we had. Toilet paper, new blades for the Bloodhouse, a few rubbish bags for the baggers - when something caught my eye. A small, zipped up bag, with a little loop on one end. I reach for it, before-

A hand grabs it. "What the hell is this?" Newt asks, holding it up for inspection. "We never got anything like this before." Newt unzipped it and peered inside. I look over his shoulder, and gasp. I snatch it out of his hands before he said anything. "It's for me," I say breathlessly, when he turned and glared at me. _Thank you, thank you, thank you!_ I joyously celebrated in my head. All the necessaries were in there for me! I won't have to worry about my period now.

"Hand. It. Over." Newt said, looking livid. "We share things here. Nothing is for only one shank." And I'm rolling on the floor, laughing at the idea of sharing pads and tampons with these guys. I laugh for a good 5 minutes before my face is slapped. Gasping, I take one look at his icy stare - and collapse again, hooting with laughter. "Sure, have a look. I wanna see your expression when you realise!" I grin, handing it over. He looked through it, his face completely serious. I began to giggle again, but I kept my eyes on his face.

He pulls out a pad, confused, and I lose it. My sides hurting, I look up to see his face, still completely confused. I began to become incredulous; any person, by now, must have realised what it was. "You don't know what this is!?" I ask, holding up the little purple square. He blinks, and shakes his head. "You know what a period is?" I ask, and he frowned. "How is that related? Of course I know what a bloody period is. A full stop, right?" It takes all my willpower not to lose it again. "Not THAT period." I say, smiling. "A period of time?" "You have got to be messing with me! Are you telling me you don't know what a period - a GIRL'S period is!?" He just looks at me, blank. "Girl's period?" I shake my head. "Rest assured, it is for GIRLS, a.k.a me, okay?" He frowns at me. "I'm going to ask Alby first. I can't just let you take it for yourself." I close my eyes and shake my head, grinning, and say, "Well that's all fine and dandy, but can we do it now? I sorta need those." "It can wait. We'll carry over the supplies first." "Newt, it CAN'T wait. I need them, right now, literally. I've needed them since this morning." "For WHAT?" He yells - he's been pushed over the edge. "Lemme have one now, while you show Alby, okay? It's complicated." I grab one and sprint for the toilets.

I find Alby taking everything out by the time I get back, laying them on the muddy ground. "Hey," I say, plonking down beside them. It's only then that I see Newt ripping open the tampon wrappings, examining them one by one. "HEY!" I squeal, nicking the box off him. "You can't do that, it's unsanitary!" "What do you mean? I'm sick of this business, tell me what's going on with these." Newt says, glaring at me. Resisting a smile, I say, "Look, basically, once a month for a week I bleed from down there, and these are to suck up the blood so that it doesn't get everywhere." "Down where?" Alby asks sharply. "Why?" Newt asks, sounding interested. I sigh. "Down there as in from my… you know. Area. And Newt, it's just part of being a girl, and reproduction, and stuff. I don't think you wanna get into the details." "I'll judge that for myself." Newt says. I stare at him. So stubborn! "Trust me, I know, you don't wanna know about this. Not here, not now, anyway. We don't need it here." "I"ll judge that for myself." Newt says again, a touch more annoyed.

And so we embark on the magnificent topic of periods.

"Wait, so this is to do with babies?" Alby asks at the end. "Yes, Alby." I say, rolling my eyes. "The system just readies itself, just in case, so that I could get pregnant. Not that I want to." I say, wrinkling my nose. "But it's essential for life." "Wait. So, how do you use these?" Newt asks.

I exhale loudly. "With these," I say, ripping open a pad, "You just unfold it and stick it in your underwear. With these," I grab an open tampon off Newt, "You stick 'em up there. It soaks up the blood, then there's a string, see? You just pull the string and it comes out." "Doesn't that HURT?" Alby asks. "At first. You get used to it." I say. "Are we done now? We've been here ages." I stretch. "Okay, fine, you can have these." Alby says. "Oh, and thanks for shucking up all the tampons." I elbow Newt. "Well I didn't know, did I?" He says.

Shaking my head, I get up and head to the kitchen to start lunch.

**Eheheheh, I thought it'd be funny if they didn't know anything about periods. Guys XD**

**Anyway, I thought it'd be cute if I did some kinda girly stuff that guys wouldn't get.**

**Fave, follow, review, please and thank you :)**

**~mondonxx**

**P.S I won't be updating for a month, my school is going camping and stuff.**


	4. Chapter 4

_I'm 12 years old, and I've had enough. Enough of life. My days were filled with despair, and hopelessness, and trying not to have those stupid panic attacks. Nothing was working for me. I have a loving family, live comfortably, and I go to a pretty good school, yet sadness was all I felt. Believe me, I wanted to be grateful - I just couldn't. This social anxiety is literally going to be the death of me._

_My parents will be broken. My friends will be broken. I still want to do this. I'm beyond caring at this point._

_The coat hanger hangs from my curtain rack. Feeling completely devoid of emotion, I tie the belt on, and put my head through the loop._

_I close my eyes. Step forward. Think my last thoughts; I'm sorry world, but goodbye. It chokes me, but I don't panic. I exhale all my breath. A pounding in my head gets louder, and my body starts to fight. My legs kick without me telling them to, my hands scrabble at the belt. No use._

_I hear a crack, and suddenly I'm sliding down slightly. Something's wrong. Then I fall onto my bed. I look up to see the coat hanger - it's broken at the bottom._

_The garage door opens, and I know it's not safe now. Sliding the coat hanger and belt under my bed, I hop up and start on my homework. I'll try again tomorrow._

"What are you talking about?"

My eyes open, and I see Newt standing by my hammock. "Huh?" I croak, stretching. "You were talking in your sleep. Something about a coat hanger."

A memory! It was a memory. I dreamed a memory. A nightmare. Wait, what? A memory?

I used to attempt suicide?

Shuddering, I sit up and get out of my hammock. "Just a dream." I said, rubbing my eyes. A nightmare, to be exact. A nightmare that was true. I groaned, and got up to help Frypan, ignoring Newt's curious stare.

**Newt's POV**

Just a dream, huh. I didn't know she talked in her sleep though - that would be interesting. But why a coat hanger, of all things? What was she dreaming about? Why did she have her hands up by her neck?

Breakfast was the usual - bacon and some bread. I have to say, though, her cooking has improved tenfold. Pretty good for a greenie.

I watched her carefully over the next week. Something was up with her. Dark circles formed around her eyes, and she seems to have gotten a lot quieter. She would only nod or shake her head, and give one sentence answers if it was an open question. Something was bothering her, and I felt a duty to find out what.

I don't know what duty, but something was tugging at me to protect her. Probably just the fact that she's a she-shank.

**Celia's POV**

_Dragging the compass point over my skin, I smiled. I did it deeper, and deeper, until beads of blood appeared._

I woke up quickly, in the middle of the night, sweating. Sighing, I rubbed my eyes. I won't be able to go back to sleep again.

Stumbling to the forest with nothing else to do, emotions strangled my heart. I felt a deep, profuse sadness. Loneliness.

Deep in the forest, I slid down a tree trunk and hugged my knees. These emotions were just… so depressing.

Suddenly, I opened my mouth, and began to sing.

_I eat my dinner in my bathtub  
>Then I go to sex clubs<br>Watchin' freaky people gettin' it on  
>It doesn't make me nervous<br>If anythin' I'm restless  
>Yeah I've been around and I've seen it all<em>

_I get home I got the munchies_  
><em>Binge on all my twinkies<em>  
><em>Throw up in the tub<em>  
><em>Then I go to sleep<em>  
><em>And I drank up all my money<em>  
><em>Tastin' kinda lonely...<em>

_You're gone and I gotta stay high  
>All the time<br>To keep you off my mind  
>Woah woah<br>Woah woah  
>High, all the time<br>To keep you off my mind  
>Woah woah<br>Woah woah_

_Spend my days locked in a haze  
>Tryin'a forget you babe<br>I fall back down  
>Gotta stay high, all my life<br>To forget I'm missin' you  
>Woah woah<br>Woah woah_

And I was crying. Something about that tune just made me want to cry and crumble.

**Newt's POV**

Celia wouldn't shut up in her sleep. "Deeper." She would mumble. And then she awoke - panting. I pretended to be asleep as she got up from her hammock and headed to the forest. I silently followed her.

She was curled up into a ball, and she was singing. She was a pretty good singer, but not the best. What caught me, though, was what she was singing, and how she was singing it. It was like she'd sung it a million times, and she sang it with so much feeling I suddenly felt myself getting sad. "To forget I'm missing you, woah woah, woah woah." And she broke off. I peered through the darkness and saw her sobbing.

I wanted to ask what she was doing, what the shuck was happening, but I felt that she was vulnerable and shouldn't be interrupted. She wiped her face, whispered to herself "You can do this." I knew it was time, and hurried back to my hammock. I fell asleep when I could hear her deep breathing of her sleeping.

**Celia's POV**

The nightmares continued, every night, until I was afraid to go to sleep and just went straight to the forest. I wouldn't go to sleep until I was too tired to keep my eyes open, then I would creep back and sleep. I couldn't get enough sleep.

My past scared me. I didn't want to remember who I was anymore.

The days blurred past. I didn't care. I was too tired to think, and I liked it that way. Like being high. Maybe that's why I got so attached to the song.

**Hai hai hai so I'm back :D**

**Thanks for the reviews ;u; they make me so happy :D**

**So this took a pretty dark turn, sorry if you don't like it, but I swear this is the worst chapter it will be made a lot happier :3 I just wanted to give an insight of her past life and what was up.**

**Song is Habits by Tove Lo, such a good song ;n;**

**Fave, review, all that good stuff please please please :)**

**~mondonxx**


	5. Chapter 5

**Newt's POV**

I'm really worried about Celia. All week, she's been getting up and going to the forest, and the dark circles under her eyes are so pronounced, she almost look like she's got a double black eye. I woke up in the middle of the night from the heat of the night and she was tossing and turning badly, and scrabbling at her neck. She's been saying weird things, too. Like how she needs to tighten the belt, or go deeper, or asking why over and over. I'm so worried about her. I told Chuck to try and talk to her, being the friendliest shank here, but he says she just deflects him onto another topic whenever he tries to ask what's wrong.

I'm also confused about her. Every time I look at her something tugs in my chest, as if I LIKED her or something shucked up. Of course, that's the last thing that Alby needs. But I can't break her walls - she's just isolated now. Gladers just carry on. She isn't worth much to them - just another greenie.

Minho's getting involved, too - I think he likes her too... but he never shows it.

It's a normal day at the Glade. Celia's cooked fantastic eggs and bacon for breakfast, then gone to the forest, like she always does. Today, though, I see Minho and Frypan follow her. I decide to follow too, to see what Minho was up to.

"... wrong, really. You look like you've hardly slept, and you don't talk with the other gladers. You're supposed to socialise, you know. We're a community, and you have to be one of us." "Minho, it doesn't matter, I'm sure it's fine." "He's right, you know. You should talk to us about it, we're cool shanks - we won't go yappin' bout anything to the other gladers. I mean, we're guys. You can talk, c'mon." "I said it doesn't matter, Frypan. It's fine. Seriously. Don't worry." "But really–" "I said it _doesn't matter._ Leave me alone." She folded her arms.

At this, Frypan and Minho started talking at the same time. "Guys, just leave me alone!" "We really want to know what the shuck is up, I mean, we've hardly gotten to know you–" "You're never around, you're always hangin' out here, can't you hang out with us? What's up with us?" "Nothing, but–" "Then talk to us!" "Just come along, we won't bite, and if anyone is rude you can be sure Alby'll lock 'em up in the slammer–" "Really, it won't be that–" "Shut up!" She screamed, and I can see her shaking. This isn't good. "Please, just listen, Celia, this is for your own good–" "We need to be a shucking community here, I mean, everyone else did it, why can't you?" "Don't you understand, it's really annoying, what's wrong with just–" I stepped in. "Guys, shut your shuck-faces–" But they just got louder and louder, desperate to convince her. "SHUT IT YOU SLINTHEADS!" I shrieked. They fell silent. Celia abruptly sat down, and hugged her knees, squeezing her eyes shut and pressed her hands to her ears. "Celia, Celia, are you okay?" I asked, kneeling down. "Hurts, hurts, hurts, go away, away," she chanted, eyes squeezed shut, swaying a little. "Celia?" Frypan asked. He was scared; his voice trembled slightly. "Out, slintheads. I'm talking to Alby 'bout this." I said to them, giving them a shove in the direction of the Homestead.

"Celia, can you hear me?" What the hell do I do? How do you treat panic attacks? "It's... it's okay." I rubbed circles on her back awkwardly, before sitting down beside her and whispering "It's okay, shh, Celia, it's fine, don't worry, don't worry, it's okay." It seemed to help a little, her swaying slowed down. Slightly out of curiosity, but mostly to try and comfort her, I pulled her closer to me into a hug. She smelled sorta nice, once you got past the slight grime and sweat. "It's okay, Celia, it's fine, it's going to be fine, it's okay, don't worry," I continued to rant the phrases as soothingly as I could as slowly, the rocking stopped and she began to relax. It was working.

She leaned against me and caught her breath. I began to get nervous, us this close, but it was nice. It also felt good that I managed to stop her from fainting and all that. It made me feel like I had begun to break down her walls, and get closer to her.

**Celia's POV**

Newt did it. He was so amazing. He just calmed me down from a panic attack, and now we're just sitting close together, his arms around me, as I caught my breath.

He felt so strong, I could feel his arms tight around me. Suddenly, I felt a little bit nervous again. Newt was my favourite out of all the Gladers, and he was so strong, and he had such a cute accent sometimes it makes me smile.

"Newt?" I said, looking at him. He turned his head toward me, and our faces were so close, it took me a moment to get my thoughts together. "Thanks for that... that was... it helped so much." He smiled. "No problem."

We sort of stayed there for a second. When I said that, it was the obvious cue to get up and start heading back, but there was an awkward pause afterwards, and we didn't move. He was so close, I could feel his breath on my neck. It made me nervous, but excited.

**Newt's POV**

I didn't want to leave. _What are you doing?! _I asked myself, and hastily unwound my arms. _Oh no... she was probably just sitting there waiting for me to let go. That was awkward._ Scratching the back of my neck, I stand up. She quickly stood up too, and brushed the dirt off. She headed back to the Homestead without a backward glance.

...

"Alby." I said, tapping his shoulder. "Hey, Newt." "Has Frypan and Minho told you what happened?" "Well, no, but they said you had to talk to me. Those shanks don't wanna talk about what they did. Let's hear it, then." "You know Celia's... condition? Well, they triggered it. They were stressing her out really, they wanted to get her to tell them what's wrong and to start acting normal-like, but they went way overboard and she had a panic attack. What do you reckon?" "Slintheads. One night in the slammer will do. It's not like they actually harmed her, but I guess we have to punish them somehow." "Good that." I said, relieved - I agreed with his decision.

...

That night, as I tried to sleep, Celia popped up in my head. She has these beautiful green eyes, dark blonde hair, and a small figure, that made me feel like I could really protect her when I was holding her. She was so pretty. But more than that, she was strong. She never, ever complained about anything, and she worked hard every day without fail. I began to daydream, to try and fall asleep. A sunny day in a made up place, and she was running down these hills, her hair streaming out behind her. She was laughing, light and tinkly, and turned back to face me, breathing heavily, and smiling up at me. She didn't have any circles under her eyes. She looked purely happy.

"Newt." I was snapped out of my daydream. "Yeah?" I asked, sitting up. Celia was still on her hammock, eyes closed. I frowned. "What's up?" I asked, and her face stayed completely the same. Oh. She was sleeping. Did she just say my name in her sleep? What does that mean? _Probably just some weird dream. _I told myself, my heart sinking a little, as I settled back into my hammock. Sleep overcame me.

**Haii :3**

**It's escalatiingg :D**

**Do I switch POVs too often? Argh I just wanna have different POVs for every scene, it's so hard for me to choose just one. Again, thanks to Sakura Ann Kinimo-san for helping me with panic attacks :D**

**Please please please review! I love getting reviews they make me so happy :D And fave and follow, please and thanks :)**

**mondonxx**


	6. Chapter 6

That night, my dream was different.

There was Newt, smiling at me. We were holding hands and sitting under a tree in the forest. I didn't want to look at his face, I was nervous, blushing, and happy. "Celia?" Newt asked. "Yeah?" I asked, slightly breathless. He smiled. "I just want you to know that I love you." "Love... me?" I asked, confused. "You mean, love love? Real love?" "Yes," he breathed softly, smiling. "Didn't you realise?" "No..." "Celia, look at me." He says. His voice is so soothing. I turn to look at him, and he's so close, his breath on my face, like we were before in the forest. He was coming closer, lowering his eyes, then at the last moment looking at mine again as...

I snapped awake. "I said, get up. It's time to make breakfast." Frypan turned and walked away. Oh. That was such a nice dream. I shivered. I really did like him. Sighing, I hopped up and started breakfast with Frypan.

I couldn't look at Newt in the face that day - every time, I'd remember how close he was in the dream, and I'd get flustered. Head down, I carried on with all my tasks.

_The next day..._

"Ay, Cece?" Minho said. I turned around. "So is that my new nickname?" He grinned. "Of course. Hey, by the way, I'm really sorry about earlier." "That's okay." I say cautiously. "Anyway, I just needed to know something." "Fire away," I replied, curious to know. "Cece, do you like me?" He said it so openly and frankly, of course I took it the wrong way. "Of course! Why wouldn't I like you?" "Oh thank god." He said, and suddenly it was like I was hit by a train. He collided with me into a tight embrace, his lips unexpectedly on mine. I tried to jerk back, but he was too strong. I pushed my hands on his chest, but he didn't let go.

"Oh… so it's you two." I heard Frypan say. Minho didn't stop, as if saying _Hello world, we are dating!_ like he was proud of it. I try to shake my head as Frypan hoots with laughter and does something I will personally kill him for. "OI SHUCK-FACES! GET IN HERE FOR A REAL GOOD SHOW! INCLUDES SMOOCHIN' AND BABY-MAKIN'!" "Get off me!" I try to scream, and bit down hard on his lip. Minho pulled back, chuckling. "You didn't have to draw blood, tigress." "Get your shuck-face out of here! I didn't mean that like! Shucking hell!" "What the shuck is going on?" Alby burst through the door, while the other gladers filed in, trying to see. This was the last thing I needed! I realized I was already shaking. _Does this mean ANOTHER meltdown? Oh gosh, I hope not. _"You mean you don't like me?" Minho asked, and I saw pain in his expression. Oh my gosh… how can I hurt him when I've never seen him hurt before?

"S-sorry, but no, not like that! I thought you meant, as a person! A friend!? Not THAT way." I flushed red, and turned to Alby, and there was all the gladers standing behind him, smirking. _Nope nope nope. _I thought, panicking slightly. "Let me out." I say shakily to the gladers blocking the doorway. "Are you gonna–?" "Please, just let me out." I said, trying not to think about it. They parted quickly, and I made it outside before I started running. The forest was way too far away - I ran to my hammock and jumped in, curling up. "Celia?" one of the med-jacks was there. I groaned, clapping my hands over my ears and squeezing my eyes shut. Two in three days - this wasn't good.

The world blurred, and this time, Newt wasn't there, calling to me through the weird shield that came up, filtering the scene and sound. Time slowed, and it was just me, panicking, waiting for this to end, waiting for darkness to overcome. It took hours, it seemed, of endless nausea and dizziness, and then I finally froze at the peak of the attack, then darkness finally claimed me.

…

**Newt's POV**

"Hey shank, did you hear? Celia's had ANOTHER shucking panic attack. She's in her hammock, unconscious." "What!? Bloody hell!" I exclaimed, dropping my shovel and dashing over as quickly as I could with my limp. "Celia?" I ask, running to her hammock. She _was _unconscious, curled up tightly into a ball, her arms loosely holding her knees, eyes closed. _Oh no,_ I groaned internally. I wasn't there for her this time - I couldn't calm her down. "Celia? Can you hear me?"

Her eyes fluttered, and then opened and focused on me. She blinked, then sat up suddenly, and hugged me to her, crushing my stomach and ribs. "Where were you?" she asked, a hint of hurt in her voice. My heart nearly melted. "I'm sorry, I was in the fields - I didn't hear about this." She nodded, still pressed to me. It felt nice to be the one that could calm her down.

"Oi, shanks. Alby's called a surprise gathering. He says be there A.S.A.P." Clint's head popped back out the door. "C'mon." I murmur, pulling her up with me.

...

"Alby, what's this about?" As second in command, surely I could know. "Newt… well, it's about Celia. We can't just have her dropping out every other day. I'm not saying she does it on purpose!" He raised his hands as I open my mouth to retort. "Slim it. Just need some measures of some sort. Also, about Minho. If that's how she reacts to declarations of love then we have to sort that out too." "Bloody hell." I mutter. This was going to be frustrating for Celia. I hope Alby doesn't put her in the spotlight.

"What's it about?" Celia asked, eyes wide. I grimaced. "You." "You mean–" "Yeah." She exhaled.

**Celia's POV**

Great, now they think I'm a psycho baby that needs protecting.

"So we're here cuz unfortunately, we can't afford to have Celia fainting all the time. I know this is a condition, and that she can't help it, but we need to put up some measures, nonetheless. First of all, I just need to get to know the situation. Celia, can I ask you some questions?" Tug in my chest. Can I do this? I remember the last gathering. _Newt's here, _I soothe myself. I grip Newt's hand, and nod. "Okay, so how many panic attacks have you had so far?" "Um… four." "Right. And you fainted on all of them?" "No… only on two." "And what happened with the other two?" _Newt was there. _"I had people comforting me." "Is that it?" Alby asked, surprised. "You just need a pat on the back and you're fine?" I sighed. "_No_, more than that. It has to be someone I trust. You can't just grab the nearest person and expect it to work - it has to be people I trust." "And who do you trust? Enough to calm you down?"

I shrink back slightly. This was probably going to be an embarrassing admission, and all the gladers are here. Alby's eyes flicker to our hands, mine crushing Newt's and saves me saying it. "Newt?" I nod, curling up. "Anyone else?" I think of sweet little Chuck, and how he comforted me too at the last gathering. "Probably Chuck." A smile lights up Chuck's face, and he mouths a thanks to me. "Okay, thanks Celia." Alby turns back to the group. "One of those two, preferably Newt, has to be let known immediately if she ever has a panic attack. That's settled. There's also the declarations of love." Alby turns to stare at Minho, who turns slightly pink. I groan quietly, and nestle my face into my arms on my knees. "No more. At all. We don't need shucking love birds distracting us." _At all!? __What about– he won't. He just considers us friends. _"Anyone not okay with that?" Alby asked openly, glancing around at everyone. No-one said anything. "Good. Gathering adjourned."

**Hai :) SOOOO what's gonna happen if Newt can't pledge his cute adorable love ;n;**

**The hardest thing about writing this fan fiction is I already know how this is gonna end - have from day 1 - just needa get from here to the end… it seems like such a long way, whoa.**

**Next chapter, Thomas is coming oooh :3**

**I'm updating like every day cuz school, and, well, procrastination :)**

**Well, see you next chapter. Review, fave, please please please!**

**mondonxx**


	7. Chapter 7

**Newt's POV**

Bloody hell. Just when my feelings were getting clear about her, Alby says no relationships. I was hoping that one day, it could get to the point that I _could _ask her.

She was by my side in an instant. "What do you think?" I asked her. She nodded. "Pretty good, but I feel like it's not really a rule; just something to do if I do have one. At least it's clear with the guys." _What about the second part?_ I wanted to ask, but kept it to myself - that would be pretty obvious.

"Ay, greenie." Gally, of all people, was coming over to Celia. _What does he want with her?_ My eyes narrowed. He bent close (she tried to step back, but he stepped with her) and whispered something in her ear. I saw her eyes pop out, before she swallowed and nodded. "What did he say to you!?" I asked when he was out of earshot. "Just... it doesn't matter, don't worry." she replied. "Tell me. I can tell it wasn't good." I say, staring at her. "It doesn't matter, Newt, it's nothing to do with you." She shook her head, and went to start her lunch duty with Frypan. I watched her keenly the rest of the afternoon, but she seemed fine.

After a good dinner of hamburgers and an apple, I rolled onto my hammock, suddenly tired. I'd eaten quite a bit, and I was feeling pleasantly full and sleepy. "Night, Cece." I grin to myself. "You too?" she asked tiredly. "Don't you like it?" "It's okay. I could bear it." she chuckled. I fell asleep shortly after that.

**Celia's POV**

((A/N warning this is suggestive and slightly graphic))

Good. Newt's asleep. I can tell because his breathing is so slow, and his mouth is slightly open. Fear grips my chest, but I think of Newt, and I'm okay.

I stumble to the forest, and see his silhouette already there. I'm going to have another panic attack tonight. But this is for him.

"You came, just as I expected." he spoke, and the hair on the back of my neck stood up. "So, what do you want?" I said, trembling. He paused, before saying slowly; "I don't like you romantically, Celia. But, I do need something..." Yes, it's what I expected. "You know." He concluded with a smile. He started towards me. Already, I was shaking too hard. I started to run but he threw himself onto me. "Remember what I said." He whispered in my ear harshly, and I gave up in a flash. He grinned, his eyes were lit up in the moonlight, as he started to slide his hands up my top, his lips forcing themselves onto mine. I cringed back, repulsed, but he just kept going, and eventually undid his pants. He slid mine down, and cruelly dug in.

I fight uselessly, all I want is to curl up and have Newt soothe me. I'm crying, and trying not to scream out so that I can protect my Newt, my Newt.

Time passes slowly. I try not to think, try to block out the sounds in my ears by clapping my hands over my ears, and I turned my head away. _Let it be over soon, please, please,_ I thought as my panic started to cloud my vision.

**Newt's POV**

I couldn't sleep. I woke up and something felt wrong, something I couldn't put my finger on. I sat up, and realised _I can't hear Celia's breathing._ I look over, and she's gone. Probably just singing again.

For some reason, I want to hear her singing that song again. I got up and crept to the forest, trying to be quiet, when I hear odd noises. I go towards them and see a mass on the ground. Someone's grunting, and there's also small whimpers–

I launch myself at the mass on the ground. "What the shucking hell do you think you're doing, slinthead!" I shriek as the top person rolls off. I quickly get him into a choke hold and squeeze tight. He strains, and claws backwards and kicks out, but I'm behind him, so he misses everything. It's several moments before he becomes dead weight in my arms. I drag him back to the slammer and lock him in, hurrying as quick as I could. I have to get to Celia.

"Celia!?" I cry out, stumbling around in the forest. I finally see her on the ground - she's frozen completely. "Shhh," I whisper desperately as I wrap myself around her. "Celia, listen to me, it's okay. It's okay, it's okay, don't worry, I've got you..." She's still frozen, not breathing. "Celia, it's okay, it's Newt, it's Newt, I'm here, shhh. Don't worry..." I hold her, rocking backwards and forwards slightly, and my hand is smoothing her hair out of nowhere. "It's okay..." and she finally unfreezes, and takes a small gasp of a breath. I manage to calm her completely, until she's breathing normally and... well, then she starts to cry, and I have to soothe her again, but that's okay."Gally, he said, that, today, he said in my ear that I had to c-come, and that if I didn't he'd - he'd break your limping leg again and it scared me, Newt, he was so scary, but I wanted–" "Celia, shhh. It's all over now, okay?"

I felt guilt overwhelm me. I knew something was up with Gally and her, and I didn't keep watch. And be perfectly honest, it scared me so bloody much that she would get, well, violated, for _me_. For my safety and health. Did she like me? Or did she simply feel so attached because I can calm her down when she panics? "Celia, why would you get violated... just for me? You could have just not shown up, or told me or Alby!" "I... was... scared. He would have threatened worse things if I hadn't shown up or told, and he would have carried them out... what if he was going to throw you between the walls just before they closed, or something?" When she said that last part, she shuddered and nestled closer to me.

I was silent as she buried her face into my shirt and cried. I knew that Gally was pretty intimidating, and she must have been scared out of her wits when he said those threats.

Suddenly, she pulled away from me, looking at my shirt (now soaked). "S-sorry," she mumbled, but I just pulled her to me again. "Celia, please, don't _ever _do that again. Please. Tell me at least if you're ever meeting with him alone, or any other shanks. You have to promise." I said, looking up at the sky as she began to calm down. "P-promise." she murmured. She drummed her fingers on her knees, fast. We stayed there for a long time, until she began to hum a tune. "What are you humming?" I asked. She jerked, startled. "Huh?" She turned to me, confused. "You were humming." "Was I? I didn't realise!" Celia furrowed her brow. "What was it again?" I hummed it badly, and her eyes widened as she started to sing quietly. "I live in the sky, you come live here too, I'm queen of the clouds, make my wish come true, I sing to the night, lemme sing to you - Baby listen please, I'm not on drugs, I'm not on drugs, I'm just in love... Don't you see, I'm not on drugs, I'm not on drugs, I'm just in love. You're high enough for me." She stopped. "Wow, it's so weird singing. It feels like I've sung them a million times yet I'm still new to them."

"Sing the other one, please?" I asked. "What?" She looked at me. Oops, major slip-up. She didn't know I was listening to her singing. "You were humming another one earlier on in the week." Nice save, Newt. "Oh, is it this one? Gotta stay high, all the time, to keep you off my mind, woah woah, woah woah." I nod, and lay back onto a tree, listening to her. She sang nearly the whole thing, and for the first time, I heard the third verse. "Stayin' in my play pretend we're the fun and got no end, can't go home alone again, need someone to numb the pain." She broke off. She was crying again. "Sorry, I don't know what it is." She sniffled. "I just always get emotional to that song." She got emotional last time too.

**Celia's POV**

Every time. I was getting embarrassed at how much I was crying around Newt, it was all that happened when we were together. I've worked out why though; I was all alone before. I never had anyone, to love or as a true friend. That song was all I listened to when I was depressed - it expressed the pain I was going through. I also liked changing the words to one verse; 'Don't forget I'm missing you." instead of "To forget I'm missing you.", it just tugged at my heart. I had needed someone, but there was no-one. It had to be my mum to calm me down from panic attacks - otherwise, I would faint. That song was my everything, I knew that.

But now I have Newt. And I had to tell someone. It suddenly burst out. "I was lonely." "What?" "Before all this. I was lonely, and that was my song, it expressed my pain. It's why I get so emotional. I was... depressed."

There was a silence.

**Newt's POV**

She was depressed?

"The nightmares I get, why I can't sleep, they're about what happened before. I don't want to remember my past, but I have to every night. It's why I hate sleeping now." She seemed to relax slightly. Now it was out there, and she must feel a bit better now. "What happens in your nightmares?" I ask quietly. She stiffens a little. "The coat hanger one... when I talked about it... that was... I hung a coat hanger on my curtain rack, and a belt through it, and tried to strangle myself. The coat hanger broke at the bottom, so it didn't work. Another is just me discovering self harm. And then just meltdowns at home. And other attempts." She paused for a moment, before adding "And I thought deeply about the world too. I looked at life as a masquerade. Like an act. That we had to follow."

I found a lump forming in my throat, and tried to swallow it. _Slim it,_ I thought to myself. Bloody hell. This girl was a lot more than I thought.

And she understands.

I clear my throat, and spoke with a tight voice. "Yeah, I... had the same problem. It's how I got my limp." She froze in my arms. "I tried... in the maze. I used to be a runner. I didn't see the point. So, I tried, but my foot got caught in vines. Hurt like bloody hell." I added with a chuckle. "Newt..." She cuddled to me. There was a long silence as we both digested this.

Suddenly, I found myself drifting to sleep slightly. I tried to stay awake, until I heard Celia breathing deeply too, snuggled into my shirt. I sighed, picked her up, and made my way back to the homestead. I put her in her hammock, and tried to take her hand off, which was clenched with my shirt in her fist. "No..." she mumbled. She was half awake, her eyelids fluttered. "Stay with me." She whispered. "Okay," I whispered back, and lay down with her. I was asleep in seconds.

**:3 nyaw.**

**I'm sorry Thomas didn't come in this chapter, but I swear he will come in the next one. I pinkie promise :)**

**The song she was humming was Not on Drugs, Tove Lo (that's the theme music for this). Did you notice she was saying "I'm just in love…" nyaw XD and I've got a funny song that she sings and she doesn't realize what she's singing… eheheh.**

**Sorry if what happened in the, ehm, scene wasn't accurate. I didn't actually want it to be that accurate, it's not that pleasant ^n^ I'm sorry for anyone who was close or was violated...**

**Thanks to Sakura again for helping me with panic attacks!**

**~mondonxx**


	8. Chapter 8

**Newt's POV**

I woke up to the sounds of laughter. Opening my eyes, I remembered that I had fallen asleep with Celia - she was still beside me, still asleep.

A group of gladers were gathered around our hammock, grinning and 'aww'ing. "We missed out on the baby-makin'," Clint pouted. The slintheads all laughed. "Had your first kiss yet?" Zart winked. "Shut up, slintheads," I croaked in my morning voice, rubbing my eyes. "So you _did?_" I groaned. "Of course not, we're not shucking dating or whatever." I resisted a sigh. Suddenly, I realised Celia wasn't sleeping anymore, yet she hadn't moved. I felt her breathing on my arm, and it was a little fast now. She was also a little tense. "Shuck-heads, get out, let's not freak out Celia when she wakes up. And someone get Alby, I have to talk to him." With many chuckles, the gladers shuffled out, so that it was silent again. "Morning, Cece." I murmured gently. She stretched, then buried her face into my shoulder again. I laughed. "C'mon, we gotta get up." She just mumbled "Neuh." in the most adorable morning voice I'd ever heard.

Alby came in. "Is this about why Gally's in the slammer without me saying?" "Yes. I'm sorry about that, but it was actually about Celia's safety. You see, yesterday, he managed to convince Celia to come to the forest at night - you know how Gally is. Anyway, he tried to… well, he raped her. I went to see where Celia was when I woke up and I found them. I put Gally in the slammer and calmed Celia down from a panic attack." Alby was silent. I glanced at him - he was never, ever silent. "I should have thought of that…" he whispered. "Gally's banished. He broke the rule. I'll organise a new Keeper of the builders. Non-negotiable." He walked out of the room. Whew. I was hoping for that.

Celia sat up in the hammock, rubbing sleep out of her eyes. "Happy with the verdict?" I asked. "Um… what does banished mean?" Oh, of course she didn't know. "It means you're forced out into the maze before the doors close at night. No-one ever survives a night in the maze." Her eyes widened. "A death sentence?" "You think he doesn't deserve it?!" I snap at her, then immediately feel guilty. "Sorry." She just shook her head.

**Celia's POV**

A death sentence. I hated how much I was pleased with that. What sort of sick person is happy with death for another?

Death for herself?

I dragged myself to breakfast, then immediately went to Newt after everyone had been served. I feel so safe around him. He's my safety blanket - I feel like my anxiety doesn't exist when I'm around him.

The day passed impossibly slowly. I was so tired, and sore, and I just stuck to Newt all day. He didn't seem to mind, though other gladers began to notice.

It was sometime before dusk, when alarms went off. I grabbed Newt's arm. "What the shuck?" I asked, but Newt knew what it was. "Shuck, I forgot. Today's Greenie day. Another greenie's comin' up." Oh. Will it be another girl? I heard some restlessness as we waited for the box to get up - they were wondering the same thing. "If it is, dibs. 'Specially if she's got good tits." someone in front of me muttered. Before I was going to retort, Newt gave a very good, hard kick to his ankle. I giggled as he cried out. "Nice one." I grin. Newt smiled back, blushing slightly. Alby opened the cage doors. "What does she look like?" "Slim it, shanks. It's a guy." Oh. I was actually hoping for a girl. I wouldn't be quite so lacking for a good chat if it was a girl. Alby pulled up a wide-eyed shank, average height, brown hair, wearing a faded blue top. "Who're you!?" He yelled, spinning around, looking for a way out. Suddenly, he bolted like a rabbit, running. "Ay, we got a runner!" yelled someone joyfully, and we all watched and jeered as he sprinted toward the forest - and tripped spectacularly over his own feet. While Alby calmed him down, I got to cooking up the feast for tonight's bonfire. Pork skewers, some bread, bacon, chips, sausages, a sort of salad, and some apples and oranges, with Gally's remaining concoction for drinks. I began to get slightly nervous, remembering this time last month - my first panic attack here.

The bonfire was lit, the drums started up, and Newt and I went to sit with the newcomer. He seemed unusually curious; always asking questions, wanting to know. He tried Gally's concoction (and coughed it up immediately), while everyone but me laughed.

It was getting late, and I was just sitting there, watching the fire. The heat pressed on my face like a pillow. I watched the flames sway, licking the wood, slowly turning it shiny black. I was getting sleepy.

Newt came and sit by me, after a while. It's one of those moments where everyone around you was still yelling and messing about, and there's chaos around you, yet it all seems to be turned down in volume, and there's just you and your thoughts. I closed my eyes… and drifted...

**Newt's POV**

Celia leaned on me. I looked at her - she was breathing deeply, asleep. Her hand came up close to her face, and rested on my arm. I gently lay her down, her head on my left crossed leg, and absent-mindedly stroked her hair, staring into the fire. All the gladers eventually slimmed it and came to sit around the fire too for a while. There was light chat that I didn't participate in.

Just as I was getting sleepy too, Celia started to talk in her sleep. Unfortunately, she must have been having a dream involving me, because she was saying my name. Unfortunate, because, well…  
>"Hey! Did you just hear that? Did Cece just talk in her sleep?" Minho was the first that picked up on it. "Hm?" I say, pretending that I hadn't heard her. "I swear she just said someth–" "Newt." She mumbled again, and this time, every glader heard it. Everyone's faces were of utmost surprise - and glee. They started to whisper excitedly, like bloody girls. "She's saying your name in her <em>sleep!?<em>" "Man, she must be smitten with you." "Dude, have you asked her out?" "Slim it." I said, trying not to blush - and failing miserably. "_Shank!_ You like her!? Tell us!" "You're going to wake her up." I whisper-shouted, but they didn't fall for it at all. "Newt, Newt, _tell us._ Do you like her?" Everyone fell silent, waiting for my answer. Celia mumbled again in her sleep as I tried to evade it. "Even if I did, it's against the rules for me to tell her, so–" "Newt, you shank, stop avoiding the question. _Do you like Celia?_" Another silence. I swallowed. "Well… yes, but–" "_HE LIKES HER!_" They all whisper-screamed excitedly. "Slim it!" I whisper, glancing down at Celia (she was still knocked out). "Shank, you _have_ to ask her out now!" "Shut it. You know the rules." I say, narrowing my eyes. Behind them, Alby nodded at me.

"What rule?" Of course, that was the greenie. "No declarations of shuckin' love." Alby said. Thomas stared at him, wide-eyed, mouth open. "What!? Then what's the fun here going to be!?"

There was a pause, while everyone digested this. "The last time she got a declaration, she had a shucking panic attack! No more!" Alby whisper-shouted. "For shuck's sake, she's not gonna have a panic attack over Newt, is she?" Thomas asked, but he sounded uncertain. "The greenie's actually right." Frypan said. "Newt's the one that comforts her when she has one, how can she possibly have one around him? Haven't you noticed that she's following him around now?" Everyone began to agree. Unsure of what to do, I watched everyone as they fought. "Newt." Alby's voice cut through everyone else's; they fell silent immediately. I looked at him. "Do you think the rule should be bent to except you?" Shock overwhelmed me. _What!?_ Alby was asking _me_ whether I wanted to be able to tell her? "I'm saying this, because… well, I agree with everyone's logic. How can she have a panic attack around someone who calms her down from them? So… it's up to you. You're second-in-command." I took a deep breath, exhaled. "If everyone agrees, then… yes." I just had to satisfy my heart's desire. Everyone grinned knowingly. "It's settled. Good luck, Newt." My mouth dropped open as Alby ruled. I hadn't realised he cared about this. "Thanks," I say, eyes wide. "Now get to bed, shanks. We still got work tomorrow." I carefully picked up Celia (everyone said "aww!") and put her in her hammock.

I settled into my own. I can't believe Alby let me through the rule. Well, now I sort of have to tell her, don't I? Since everyone fought for it.

I hope she says yes.

**Asdfghjkl; I loved writing this chapter ;u;**

**I've now got over 1k reads, yay :D thanks peeps! I really, really appreciate it - I work hard on these ;u;**

**Sooooooo now Newt has permission yay. I'm wondering how I'm going to do it, feel free to review your ideas, I could use them! Also, if anyone could possibly be bothered, an image for this fan fiction would also be appreciated. I'd get around to it, but if someone else did it, I might give them an important choice in the story, hint hint!**

**Anyway PLEEASE REVIEW BECAUSE I JUST LOVE SEEING THEM THEY SERIOUSLY MAKE MY DAY AHH AND FAVE AND STUFF :D**

**Thanks thanks thanks to Sakura chan again ;u; she's where I got the idea of the "safety blanket" from.**

**Now I must get to my social studies homework. Ugh.**

**~mondonxx**


	9. Chapter 9

**Celia's POV**

I'm lying awake, grinning to myself.

It had taken me ALL my willpower not to show my emotions. Not to grin the slightest bit, and pretend like I was still sleeping. Not to squeal for joy. All my willpower to not say yes to Newt right then and there.

I had woken to all the gladers whisper-screaming excitedly, and a very tense Newt trying to shut them up. "Shank, you _have_ to ask her out now!" What?

"Shut it. You know the rules." Newt says sternly, though sounding shaken. He means... me? The her? It must be, I'm the only girl, but... _me_!?

"What rule?" Thomas asked. Oh. That rule. I forgot about that.

"No declarations of shuckin' love." Alby verified. My heart sunk at how affirmed he sounded.

"What!? Then what's the fun here gonna be!?" exclaimed Thomas. He had a point. The Glade was the same every day. We had to have something to entertain us.

A pause. Everyone was thinking. Then–"The last time she got a declaration, she got a shucking panic attack! No more!" Alby said. _Only because he shucking made out with me while Frypan got everyone to see,_ I thought.

"For shuck's sake, she's not gonna have a panic attack over Newt... is she?" Thomas asked, a little uncertain toward the end - but he was completely right. I could never have a panic attack because of Newt. Newt was my safety blanket - I was untouchable around him.

Frypan spoke my thoughts exactly. Then all the gladers started to try and convince Alby to let Newt be the exception to the rule. To my enormous surprise, he did just that. "Newt, do you think the rule should be bent to except you?" I heard Newt suck in a breath - he wasn't expecting it either. _What will he say?_ I realised this was the moment of truth. This determined if he actually did like me; if he would choose to break a rule (and this is Newt we're talking about) for his own sake, so that he could admit... his... love... After an explanation from Alby about how he actually agreed with the gladers, Newt finally said;

"If anyone agrees... then, yes."

In that moment, I swear, I nearly exploded with joy. I ached so much just to sit up and grin at everyone, then at Newt, and say "Hell yeah." and just make out with him; SOMETHING. Eeek. It was so hard to keep my face straight. I clenched my left fist as hard as I could to express my feelings.

And everyone shuffled off to bed. Newt carried me to my hammock. He secretly gave me a small kiss on the forehead, and whispered "Night, Cece," before he went to his own hammock. I wish he would stay with me, sleep with me again. I could always fall asleep to his lulling, deep breathing.

I'm going to wait. I'm going to wait for him. Whenever he's ready, I'm ready. I hope he does it soon though.

...

The next day, I had a new tune stuck in my head. I couldn't quite figure out the words yet, but I hummed it all day as I did my duties with Frypan. Even if I hadn't heard that conversation last night, I would be able to tell something was up. Frypan was acting strange all day, grinning out of nowhere, glancing at me too often (which made me feel very self conscious), and the rest of the gladers were whispering more. The words to the song were coming. I mouthed them to myself, since my mouth knew the words better than my mind. _"Bed, stay in bed. The feeling of... um."_ Well, at least I got the first line.

Sausages for lunch, pork and fruit for dinner, sleep. The day went by peculiarly fast, as I was waiting for Newt, but somehow it seemed to go by quickly. Maybe it's because I was getting to know Thomas. He asked so many questions while I talked about the Glade, and by the time I'd finished explaining, he had sucked me dry on all the facts I knew from living here. I also got to know Chuck pretty well, since he and Thomas have gotten pretty close since Thomas came up.

Thomas is different. He's curious - he actually wants to know more about grievers, and exiting the Maze. He's pretty nice, and easy to talk to. We easily became pretty good friends. I noticed Newt watching us sometimes - the look on his face is unreadable at these times. I hope he doesn't think I like Thomas or he likes me - I'm quite sure our relationship is only friendship, and absolutely nothing else.

I really wanted to avoid going into the forest, but Gally's been banished (they did it while I was doing the cooking for the bonfire), so I feel a little safer. Newt was there, so I asked him to come, just to hang. He agreed in a flash.

"Sorry, I just feel safer. And I wanna try out this song, it's been bugging me all day."

"No problem." Newt smiled.

I curled up into a ball, closed my eyes, then let my singing take over. I looked back on what I sang, interested to know what I used to like.

_Bed, stay in bed  
>The feeling of your skin locked in my head<br>Smoke, smoke me broke  
>I don't care I'm down for what you want<em>

_Day drunk into the night, wanna keep you here  
>Cuz you dry my tears, yeah<br>Summer lovin' and fights, how it is for us  
>And it's all because<em>

_Now if you're talking body  
>You got a perfect one<br>So put it on me  
>Swear it won't take you long<em>

_If you love me ri-i-ight  
>We fuck for li-i-ife<br>On and on and on_

"Wait, what. Shuck." I say, covering my mouth with my hand. This is a pretty inappropriate song, whoa. And of course I had to sing it in front of Newt. Immediately, I started to drum my fingers fast against my thighs. It's my nervous habit.

He glanced at me sideways for a second, before he started to laugh, for a long time. I went completely red and hid my face. "What fantastic music taste you had... as a 12 or 13 year old." He chuckled.

"Well, there goes my innocence." I sigh.

"What do you mean?"

"I thought I was innocent. Turns out I rocked out to sex songs as a preteen." I laughed. There was a small silence after that. I sort of zoned out, wondering why the songs that came to me were in that order. Painful, emotional melodies, to long, expressive ones, now this short, sexy one. Confusing, to say the least.

"Oi, shanks." Alby interrupted the silence. "We got change of clothes for everyone." I leapt up.

"Shuck yeah!" I yelled. Please, please be comfortable clothes - nothing showey, just a hoodie and maybe some trackpants, or something GOOD. When I finally get over to the box, where the clothes were being laid out, I groan in horror. There's a lacey top, extremely short shorts, and a stupid colourful cardigan, all of which are obviously for me. "Shucking hell." I moan. Stereotypes of girls.

"Don't you like them?" Newt asked. I looked at him incredulously.

"You kidding me?" I asked. He just shrugged, and picked up a pile of clothes allotted to him. No way am I going to get changed into those clothes. These jeans are way better, and the top isn't that bad. I turn around idly, only to squeal and cover my eyes. "Someone burn out my eyes right now!" I shriek as I hear the gladers laughing.

"Slintheads." Newt laughed too.

"Take me away, please!" I begged. He took me by the arm and lead me to the Gardens.

"Changing, don't look. I'm behind the tomatoes." Newt said. Although I half considered it, I decided I wasn't opening my eyes until 10 minutes after Newt said everyone was changed.

"Don't worry. I don't think I'll see for a good while." I respond. I heard him chuckle as he went away.

"Hey, Celia. There's actually a spare top and shorts, if you want them." Zart said.

"Really!?" I asked, jumping up, eyes still closed. "Could you please get them for me?"

"And why can't you get them yourself?"

"I'm afraid my sanity will be destroyed by the time I get over there."

He laughed, and went away. A few minutes later, I felt some clothes being chucked at my face. "Cheers," I said. Wait. Shuck. How was I gonna do this? Newt came back soon after Zart left.

"Still scarred?" Newt chuckled.

"Newt, I got some spare clothes. Where can I change?"

He laughed. "I think you need to open your eyes first."

"Is it safe?" I asked desperately. There was a pause.

"Yep, all clear in all directions." I tentatively opened my eyes. Newt looked cool, in a fresh shirt and knee height shorts. He had two hoodies on his arm. Zart had given me a white top with black shorts. Better than what I was given!

"I'll just get changed… in the corner of the Gardens. Hopefully that's a safe spot." I grinned at him. He nodded.

"I'll be guard." I laughed as he said that, and went away. I quickly changed, keeping an eye out for Gladers, and to my relief, I didn't see any.

**Newt's POV**

When Celia came back, I offered her my fresh hoodie. I could wear my old one. She smiled, and said "Don't be silly, that's yours."

"But I can wear my old one."

"You can have a fresh one, it's okay. I'll take your old one." Before I could argue, she whipped my old hoodie out of my arms and put it on. "Comfy," she said, sounding surprised and happy.

She let me go in front on the way back, so that I could warn her about anyone still getting changed. It was all clear, though. "Thanks," she smiled at me, before bustling off to dinner.

I sighed as I watched her go. I'd tried to work up the courage to tell her in the forest, but I just couldn't. Zart came over.

"Shank, you got her?" he asked excitedly. It was clear he already thought I had.

"No…" I say, hanging my head.

"Shank! Why the heck not!?" Zart exclaimed. "Don't tell me you're scared!"

"You're saying you wouldn't be?" I asked skeptically. He snorted.

"Oh, come on. You guys are basically together already. Think of it as just making it official." He winked at me as he walked away. All evening, we were surrounded by other gladers, so I never had a chance to even try. I lay in my hammock, thinking it over. What do I say? I drifted to sleep, still stuck for what to say.

The next day, I knew it was the day. All the gladers were getting annoyed that I wasn't asking her out, because they had fought for me. It was all on me now.

"Take me to the forest?" I asked her after breakfast. She blinked at me, confused, before walking toward the forest, knowing I would follow.

"What's up?" She asked. I swallowed.

"Well… there's something been going on for… um… the last few days…" That was a lie. It was for way longer, it just took me a while to realise. She didn't say anything, just looked at me with a light frown on her face. "You see… I have a problem, and I need to ask you something…"

Her expression cleared somewhat. "Sure, go ahead!" she said, half sounding surprised, half curious.

"Well… you're really pretty, um, but, I was just…"

**Celia's POV**

Oh, no. I completely misread the situation. He knew that I thought that he liked me, so he was trying to deflect me from that misunderstanding.

"Oh, um, sorry." I say, going completely red. "I understand, it's fine, don't worry."

"What?" Newt asked, looking confused.

"Thanks for clarifying." I say, turning and walking away with my heart heavier than lead.

The day blurred by with me just doing everything mechanically. I scolded myself. _Of course he didn't like you. You probably were just clinging onto him, and he was too nice to break you off. Now head up. You can't let him know it's hurting you._

The gladers were acting strange. They gave me weird looks and at one point, one of the guys I don't know the name of muttered; "Girls - can never bloody figure them out."

I jumped on him (not literally). "What do you mean!?" I ask. "Tell me what this is about!"

They just gave me dark looks.

My dream that night was of Newt and I in the forest together. I was singing him to sleep for some reason - some soothing song that I couldn't remember when I woke up. He was sleeping, and he was so adorable. I just leaned in and gave him a peck on his lips, he was so cute, and then his eyes flew open. I blushed, but I just looked at him. He looked back, and he smiled, pulling me to his chest. I felt so safe there. Like nothing could harm me.

Reality punched me in the face. I woke up and I realised that it wasn't true, that he wasn't going to be everything to me anymore. I was alone again.

I felt a shift in my attitude. I was alone. I'm alone.

_There's a difference between being lonely and being alone._

**Heyyyy soooooo**

**Newt failed XD lelelelelel**

**OMG AND WHEN SHE SANG THAT SONG AND IT TOTALLY FAILED WHEN SHE REALISED SHE WAS SINGING A SEX SONG! X3**

**Wow near the end… I didn't expect it to go like that actually O_O but don't worry :) I'm starting the next chapter just after this.**

**I started writing so that every new person speaking was on a new line. It was a little annoying, actually, but I guess I'll get used to it.**

**I must thank FalsieFoxie for giving me so many shucking ideas I'm not even kidding. I had writer's block and she completely cured it both times I got it.**

**Okie, baibai**

**Review, fave, follow, please please please please please it's the only thing that keeps me writing!**

**~mondonxx**


	10. Chapter 10

**Newt's POV**

What. The shuck. Just happened.

Celia just walked off, saying "Yep I understand." What did she misunderstand? Because she sure as hell wasn't acting nice to me. Not that she was being mean, she just abstained from talking much, or showing affection.

I grabbed her arm after breakfast and lead her to the forest. "What exactly did you think I meant yesterday?" I demanded. She went red.

"You knew that I knew that you… I mean, you knew that I thought that you liked me, so you told me that wasn't the case. I got it."

What. It took me a moment to comprehend what she said. "What… no, no, that wasn't what I meant!" I say, horrified.

"Then what did you mean?" she asked. She wasn't being harsh or anything, just curious.

"I… I didn't mean that. I just meant… well, you followed me around… I wondered whether you wanted to because you… or…"

I tripped up over my words terribly, and blushed profusely. Bloody hell, Newt. Get it together. She just stood there, waiting patiently for me to pull myself together.

"I-wondered-whether-you-wanted-to because-you-liked-me-or-because-you-just-felt-safe-with-me-and-I-was-the-only-guy-that-could-calm-you-down." I said quickly in one breath.

She stood there for a second, trying to figure out what I just said.

"Just ask me straight out, please."

"Just… Just, I love you, okay, and I just wanna know if you love me too!" I say, biting my lip. Whoops, that came out pretty dramatically. Her face didn't change.

Then a sly smile zipped across her face. "Yeah, love you too babe." She said flippantly, as if saying it in passing conversation. She grinned at me in a sudden display of confidence. Then, her features softened, and she embraced me. "Really. I do." She breathed. I felt like a humungous burden had just been lifted. Suddenly, I just needed her. I pulled her down with me and we sat together, her back to my chest. I breathed in her lovely scent, put my lips to her neck as I crushed her to me. I just wanted to live in a world where only she existed, and all I could smell was her smell, and all I could feel was her, whole in my arms–

"Ow. Newt? Those things you're squishing are my boobs."

"Oh." I loosened my arms. _Smooth work, Newt,_ I mentally face palmed myself. She laughed, and pulled my arms tight around her again, nuzzling sideways into my neck.

I don't know how long we stayed like that, but it felt like a long time. But when we left, I yearned for it again.

...

Back at the glade, I couldn't stop grinning. Literally.

"Shank, you gotta stop grinning. We might catch it." Winston said, thumping my shoulder. I just shook my head, still grinning.

"Let the lovebird be happy. We rarely get to see him like this." Jeff said, winking at me. I rolled my eyes.

That night, when we were going to sleep, Celia sneaked over to my hammock. "Can I sleep with you?" she asked, before blushing profusely. "That came out so wrong."

I laughed awkwardly, and shifted over in my hammock. "Aren't you too young?" I teased.

"You're forgetting I'm the girl that listened to sexual music as a preteen." she giggled. "Actually, that's so shucked up. I have no idea what my preteen self was on about."

I laughed with her. "It's a pretty good tune. Especially when you sing it."

"Newt, second-in-command of the gladers, did you just shucking flirt with me!?" Celia exclaimed. My cheeks red, I chuckled nervously. She paused for a second, before saying "I have to say, it's adorable." and giggling.

"I thought you were gonna kill me or something!" I laugh. "That exclamation made me thought you were angry."

"Never. Unless you shuck up my shucking tampons again, slinthead."

"Women and their tampons. They get so attached." I sigh.

"You could say that." She said wryly, and I realised what I just said. We both laughed for a while on that one.

"Are you two shanks ever gonna shut it? It's adorable and all, but really. I need my beauty sleep." groaned a nearby glader.

"Maybe..." Celia grinned at me. I yawned, and she snuggled into my side.

"Night, Newt."

"Night, Cece." I whispered.

...

I woke up several times during the night to her saying my name in her sleep. I wonder what she dreams about.

**Celia's POV**

I had such a nice dream that night, in Newt's arms.

We weren't in the Glade anymore. We were somewhere else, in a meadow or something, or in a wild, overgrown place. "It's so beautiful here," I sighed happily. I lay down in the middle of it, staring at the sky. It was blue, with hardly any clouds drifting across. Newt came and lay with me too.

"Like you." he said, and I grinned. His flirting was amateur, but adorable. I heard him shift beside me, and I turned to look at him - he was centimeters away. He turned away to face the sky, and started laughing, I think from happiness. I wanted to stay here with him, forever. I started to laugh with him, just looking at the sky.

I rolled over, half on top of him, and cuddled to him. I felt so safe. It was such a nice place, like paradise, and best of all, Newt was there with me. We were alone together, and that made me so happy. He kissed my forehead, then my cheek, my nose, then finally kissed me on the lips. We stayed like that for a while. Then we both pulled away slightly, and our foreheads touched. "I love you." he whispered, looking into my eyes. I closed them, whispered "I love you too. So much.", then gave him another peck and nuzzled into his neck. We just stayed like that until the end of the dream, breathing each other's smells, each other's warmth a comfort.

The best part about waking up was that I was actually breathing his smell and feeling his warmth, just like in my dream. The worst part? We were in the Glade, and we have to figure out how to get out. We won't ever be truly alone together. And that kiss wasn't real.

But it was still nice.

"Sweet dreams, Celia?" smirked Winston - he was the one that shut us up last night.

"What?" I asked, rubbing my eyes.

"They must have been. I bet they were nice. You know, you were talking in your sleep. Something about… Newt?" he grinned at me. I flushed.

"Shut up." I retort.

"Could'a said the same to you last night." he laughed. I just shake my head, too embarrassed to try and shut him up. Newt sat up, too.

"I'd better head to breakfast," I say, sighing. Newt nodded, and I left.

...

I swear to god, Frypan is a worse fangirl than normal fangirls.

"Oh. My. God. TELL ME THE GOSS! HAVE YOU TWO SHANKS KISSED YET? SMOOCHEY POOCHEY?" he yelled excitedly when he saw me.

"Frypan, we only got together yesterday. Jeez. And slim it, you're waking everyone up."

"They needa be up anyway. HAVE YOU!?" I rolled my eyes.

Then, he leaned in close, and whispered "Have you… you know? Done the do?"

"Frypan!" I shrieked in embarrassed laughter as I slapped his arm. "Of course we shucking haven't! Slim it, seriously." I roll my eyes as I get started on making toast and berries. He continued to pester me, hardly doing any work of his own, as I made toast for everyone and stewed berries.

"Newt, get him off me, please!" I say when he comes for breakfast, half laughing and half embarrassed.

"What's going on, Fryp-"

"HAVE YOU GUYS MADE OUT YET?" he shrieked excitedly. I sighed.

"I can't shut him up!" I say, shaking my head.

"You klunk-head," laughed Newt. "Leave us alone. I swear, you're worst than a crowd of girl-shanks." Of course, that didn't stop Frypan. Rather, it fueled him now that we were both here.

Over the next couple of days, we get to know Thomas really well. He's a rule breaker, easy. He was just curious, but that led him to do stupid things.

The weird thing about Thomas is that when he came, everything started to change. Two days after Thomas arrived, we saw him sprinting for his life from the forest, and a freaky looking Ben chasing him. The thing was, Ben was a runner - he had come back way too early. Alby quickly stepped in, threatening Ben to stop trying to kill Thomas. Alby told him to back off, because he had broken a rule, and if he didn't stop now he might be banished. Ben was acting really weird. He kept saying that Thomas was the one to kill. Alby said he'd shoot on 0 if he didn't back off.

Alby counted down, and Newt turned me away. I heard a yelp of pain, and shuddered, pulling Newt close to me.

But it turned out that Ben wasn't dead. He was still moving, 10 minutes after. Newt and Alby chucked him in the slammer. We had a Gathering about it.

"He's been stung." Alby said. "Mid-day. Times are changing."

I closed my eyes as I listened to them all debate Ben's fate. "Ben knew the rules. Really well. Alby, you made them clear to him, and he wasn't jacked enough not to understand what you were saying." Alby agreed.

He was going to be banished.

But I knew Ben. He was nice enough to me, not trying to wink at me or flirt. He treated me like a normal glader.

Newt agreed too, so I just went with it. Times are tough. We have to keep going. Even when you start questioning your humanity.

**Wow, this chapter doesn't feel nearly as good. Probably cuz I wrote most of it at 1:30am in the morning. Lol.**

**Again, thanks to FalsieFoxie for giving me ideas :3**

**Please please PLEASE PLEASE PLEASEEEE review and fave and follow, it really makes my day when I see new people doing it ;u;**

**mondonxx**


	11. Chapter 11

This time, I got to watch the banishing.

It was terrible. They had these long sticks with wide ends to push. They had a collar on the end of one, which they fastened on his neck. He looked completely deranged.

"Please, Alby," Ben pleaded. I was standing beside Thomas since Newt was helping out with the rod. "Please. I swear, I was just sick from the Changing. I swear I never would have killed him, I just wasn't right in the head, I won't do it again, Alby - _Please, Alby, PLEASE!"_ But Alby didn't respond until he was done.

"Ben of the Builders, you've been sentenced to Banishment for the attempted murder of Thomas the Newbie." At this, for some inexplicable, sick reason, I wanted to giggle. I took one look at Ben, and was fine again. "The Keepers have spoken," Alby continued, "and their words ain't changing. And you ain't coming back. Ever."

He paused for a long time, before saying "Keepers, take your place on the Banishment Pole."

All the Keepers stepped out, including Newt, and took places on the pole. I watched, sickened, as the Maze walls began to close. "Please! _Please! PLEASE!_" screamed Ben.

"Keepers, _now!_" shrieked Alby, and everyone shoved Ben into the Maze as he tried to fight.

"_Nooo!_" Ben pleaded, screamed, scrabbled at the collar. I'd never, ever seen something so pitiful, so terrified.

"STOP!" I screamed, my hands over my ears. "PLEASE!" I hardly cared what I was asking for anymore, just needed the pain in my chest to stop.

_Stop, stop, stop, you attention whore._ A voice - my own - in my head, shutting me up. The Keepers glanced at me, but I just shook my head and turned away. _I need out, _I thought to myself, and fast-walked to the forest, Ben's pleading still ringing in my ears.

_What are you doing? Why are you questioning what they're doing? You're nothing, nothing, nothing. You can't make a difference._ My internal voice pounded away at me. I couldn't see a way out... so I curled up, and fell into a doze, trying to sleep away the pain.

...

I was twelve again, and I was at school.

All I knew was, I was so _bored. _My friends were all chatting away as usual, not bothering to include me, because that's what they did every day. I went into the bathroom with my compass. I was too bored, invisible, it didn't matter. Everything was blurring, and I needed something to stick out, something that made it make sense.

Digging in as usual, I stared at myself in the mirror as I did. I was empty. My arm was covered by the time I'd finished.

Then it all went wrong. A girl walked in, someone insignificant I didn't know. I couldn't see her face clearly, it was blurred out. She screamed, and ran out again. "Wait–!" I yelled, trying to catch her - she'd already got the teacher on duty. _Crap._ I quickly ran the opposite direction, dodging behind a corner.

"You! Come here!" _As if, _I thought, and ran to the science block, not stopping once.

I thought I was safe - I was wearing my school cardigan - then she walked in.

Then it blurs, through a chat with my teacher saying how smart I was and how everyone was okay with me and I was "too good to be doing this to myself." She then referred me to the school counsellor. Again, those faces were blurred, significant features about them gone.

However, she forgot to mention one thing: when she did that, it meant she had to ring my parents.

So of course, I had to show my mum. I couldn't see my mum in the dream, or remember what she was like. She was crying, and hugging me. It moistened my eyes too, seeing her crying. "Celia," she said in a choked voice, "I don't understand. _You're so precious._" Her voice was the only feature I could remember about her, and that was choked. But I felt how much love she had for me and I had for her.

...

I woke up with tears in my eyes. "My mum," I choked, to myself, and tried to resist the tears coming. I'd loved her. She'd loved me.

She was gone.

"Celia?" asked someone uncertainly. I turned my head to see Chuck. I was still in the forest.

"Just gimme a moment." I whispered tightly. I buried my face in my knees, and didn't breathe for a while. Then I took a deep breath. _Back to normal. Whatever that is._

"What... time is it? Do I have to make dinner?"

"Yeah... Frypan sent me to get you." I nodded, getting up and stretching. "Did you... remember something about your mum?" asked Chuck quietly. I sighed.

"Not really... I dreamed about her, but she was blurred out. Can't remember her." Chuck nodded solemnly. I sniffed once more, then muttered a thanks and sprinted to the kitchen.

...

"Frypan... can I try something with these?" I asked, rummaging through the cupboard.

"Try what, love-shank?" Frypan demanded. I pulled out raw sugar, flour, butter, and coconut slices.

"We've got berries right? I can make dessert."

"Dessert? We've never had that before." Frypan said, surprised. I grinned.

"Just you wait. I know a good berry crumble." I said, waiting for his answer.

"Fine, girlie. But you jack it up, you never get another chance." He said, arms folded. I snorted, and got to work. It was simple enough, and soon the dishes were in the make-shift oven. I'd had to make heaps, but I knew it'd be worth it.

Dinner came, went, then I nervously watched as Frypan called out, "Come on up for dessert guys! Girl-shank here made us somethin'. I can't guarantee quality, but it doesn't look half bad." There was surprised mutters, and several fleeting glances in my direction.

"Holy shuck! This stuff's awesome!" yelled the first Glader that got to try it. I grinned, as I finished up serving and served myself. To be honest, it wasn't that bad. I was pleased as every Glader that deigned to try it immediately asked how much more there was.

Newt elbowed me. "How'd you get so good at cooking?" he asked, his mouth full. I smiled at him.

_Because of my mum._ "Dunno. I guess I'm just that amazing." I laughed, then shook my head.

That night, I didn't want to sleep with Newt. I went over to my hammock. "You're not coming?" Newt asked. I turned to look at him. His face was slightly hurt. I bit my lip.

"Sorry. I mean, I'm really sorry, but tonight I sorta wanna think alone." I said, then immediately felt guilty. "It's nothing at all to do with you, I swear. Just tonight." I said. He nodded, and clambered into his hammock.

I lay there, thinking of my mum. "You're so precious." I heard it over and over again, the pain in my chest increasing, until I was hugging myself in my tears.

And that's how I fell straight into another dream.

...

This one was shorter. It was just me and a mirror.

_Who am I? _I asked the girl in the mirror. I looked at her features, the few freckles on her face, her wide green eyes, her dark blonde - almost brown - hair that was slightly wavy, slightly curled at the ends. I looked at her body shape, how she was still petite, still small and had no curves.

She was so flawless. By this I don't mean she was beautiful and had a perfect face, I meant she looked unbroken. Normal. Like she doesn't spend her days mechanically doing everything.

I was given a body that should be bringing up a whole person. I'd mutilated this body. I'd hated this body, and still do a little, but only because of the fact that I live in it.

Sometimes I look in the mirror, and I genuinely am surprised. I think, this is me? I didn't realise her eyes were so wide or her figure so small.

_Don't know what I'm doing this time around_

_This time around._

...

The snippet of the song rang in my ears as I woke up. It was barely dawn. I saw Minho getting up, stretching, preparing for the day of running. The Maze. The Glade.

I sat up. I knew I wouldn't be able to go to sleep again, so I got up and wandered around. Started breakfast. Fed the runners early. Ate some breakfast. I didn't even know what I was eating. I just went to the forest. I had to think.

My arms felt normal, smooth, not scratched and torn like I remember. Maybe whoever put us here healed it.

"What are you doing? What's... you've not been the same. Something's up." Newt pulled me to him as he sat down, into our normal cuddling position. It felt so familiar.

"I'm fine, honestly. It's just hard remembering stuff. Dreams, you know." I said, taking his wrists and tightening his arms around me. He pressed his face to the side of my neck.

"Tell me about them," he mumbled into my skin. I closed my eyes.

"I dreamed about... my mum. She found out I was scratching. I don't remember her specifically, but... she said I was precious. She loved me." I stopped, my throat getting tight. He squeezed my tighter.

"You are, you know." He whispered, and he wasn't trying to flirt, he was being serious.

I hated it. Something hurt inside me when he said that.

"No." I said, tensing up. Surprised, he loosened his arms. "Don't say that. Just... don't, okay?" And of course, I felt like crying._ Stupid, ridiculous, attention whore! _I screamed at myself internally. I hugged myself really tightly, making my own bubble.

Then the sirens rang.

I'd only heard this once before. The Greenie alarm. No way. It's 5 days after Thomas came.

We both sprinted to the Box, and waited.

The Box came, and Alby prepared the rope as Newt opened it. Everyone was silent.

"It's... another girl." He said, sounding completely shocked.

Everyone was silent for a moment, before some stupid shank shrieked out, "Dibs! Dibs if she's hot!"

"Shut your hole! That's not it. She's... I think she's dead." Newt said, and this time, he sounded almost scared. "Alby, I'll need your help getting her out. More rope, someone." Newt said, retying the rope Alby lowered. They hauled her out, and I gasped.

She was lifeless. "Med-jacks." Alby said, straightening her body so that they could see her clearly. She was... beautiful. I hated myself for how I reacted to when I realised it - instant jealousy. She looked so beautiful, so perfect. She had black hair, with perfect lips. She was slim, but not small, and had pale, pale skin. Then she surprised us all. Sucking in a huge breath, she opened her eyes - they were blue. She looked at everyone, then gasped "_Everything is going to change."_ before her eyes rolled back and she was lifeless once more.

**Yepyep, I'm doing Teresa in this too. You'll see why :)**

**Finally got to read the fricking book. It was SOOO AMAZING! Jeez. I shoulda read it earlier.**

**Okie well fave plz, and review PLEASE PLEASE PLEASE IT REALLY MAKES MY DAY ;n; and follow :D thanks!**

**mondonxx**


	12. Chapter 12

_I used to take your breath away  
>I used to make you laugh about anything<br>I used to be your getaway  
>Your getaway, your dream<br>I was everything you needed_

_You used to lean your eyes on me  
>You used to open up and share your world<br>You used to lose yourself in me  
>Let the hours pass, all running by so fast but now<em>

_What I'm doing  
>Don't know<br>What I'm doing_

_Cuz I don't even feel it_  
><em>Bodies growing colder with the distance now<em>  
><em>And I don't even mean it<em>  
><em>Got my hands all over you but not a sound<em>  
><em>I'm always so in love, all in<em>  
><em>Till I start going numb, thinking<em>  
><em>Thought you'd make me feel it<em>  
><em>Thought that I'd be different this time around<em>  
><em>This time around<em>

I thought I'd be different. Didn't think I was such an attention whore. I thought I did my shucking part.

These days, I just can't get that voice out of my head. Except it's me. I'm screaming at myself, in my head, all the time. I'm selfish, and I see it in everything I do, and I hate it.

Newt was now all I lived for. But I don't think I deserve him. And that's why I couldn't handle him saying I _was_ precious, because I'm so convinced that I'm not, and all I do is cry and have stupid panic attacks, and pretty much just end up being the hugest drama queen.

But I can't help but always be around him. I can't help but always curl up with him at night, always sitting beside him in meals, being with him in my free time. He's a drug, honestly, but the best kind.

The days blur, as usual.

**Newt's POV**

Celia's been attached to me all the time, but to be honest, she seems sort of... empty. She insists on being with me, but it feels like she's lost her depth, like she's just a shell now. I have to get her to talk to me somehow.

...

"Alby! Newt! Someone get them!" yelled Thomas, over by the entrance of the Maze. I limped to him, trying to see what he was doing. Minho was there, collapsed on the ground.

"Get me some water." Minho ordered. After Alby fetched some water (grumbling a little), Minho guzzled it all down, before wiping his mouth. "There's a dead one." he panted.

"What!? You found a dead Griever?" Alby exclaimed. "Was it still moist? Were its spikes there?"

"It's just sitting there... not moving." Minho.

"I needa take a look at this. Everything _is_ changing, it seems." Alby said thoughtfully. I shuddered - I hope they didn't see. I couldn't help it. Looking at the Maze walls, the way the vines crept up the walls, it scared me. Bad memories.

...

"Attention whore. Look at you. LOOK AT YOU!"

I jerked awake to Celia thrashing around. "Celia!" I yelled, holding her wrists. "Wake up, wake up!"

She didn't. She went still, but she wasn't awake - she curled up in her sleep and tucked her face down. But I couldn't let her keep dreaming - she might be having another nightmare. "Celia," I whispered, shaking her gently. It took a while, but she eventually groaned and opened her eyes.

"What's that girl-shank doing?" Winston asked - he was woken up too, as was a few other gladers around us.

"It's nothing. Back to sleep, shanks." I ordered quietly. They obeyed, too tired to care.

"Celia, are you awake? Are you okay?" I whispered to her. By way of answering, she buried her face in my shirt and cried silently for a minute. She didn't say anything, even when I asked, then she mumbled an apology, turned over, and went back to sleep.

I was too out of it to think about anything, and I went back to sleep too.

...

The next day, Alby went early with Minho to examine the Griever. I hope it's bloody dead, because if it ain't, Alby might get stung.

Celia and Frypan cooked an amazing breakfast, as usual. The food quality has improved a hundredfold since Celia started to help out. I wondered how Alby was going.

"What did you dream about last night?" I asked Celia. She shrugged.

"I can't remember. It wasn't pleasant. I don't want to remember." she whispered, shaking her head.

**Celia's POV**

That was a lie. Of course I'd remembered.

I was at the mirror again. Hating every inch of what I saw in there. I was too selfish, too cruel, and I hated it.

"Look at yourself." I hissed to the narrowed green eyes. "Pathetic. Can't go a day without becoming a drama queen. Attention whore." I just kept hating myself. I couldn't stop, it was like a trance.

The thing was, this wasn't a memory. This was present me. I'd known I was in the Glade when I was in that dream.

**Newt's POV**

They should be back by now. I started to watch the Maze entrance, every minute increasing my desperation. Of course, Celia was there too.

"Newt. Alby and Minho are two of the smartest shanks here. They'll be okay. Probably just exploring." She tried to soothe me, but I knew Alby. He wasn't going to hang out in the Maze this long. I found myself chewing my fingernails, an old habit. Thomas joined us.

"Couldn't they send someone out there? To look for them?" he asked, pointing to the Maze. I automatically felt my chest tighten.

"Can't risk any more lives." I said, trying to calm myself down.

It turned to dusk, and I'd lost hope. "They're gone." I said, mostly to myself, then trudged off.

"Wait, Newt, I see them!" yelled Thomas when I'd gotten halfway to the Homestead. I limped back as fast as I could. I saw them too, but it was all wrong. Minho was dragging Alby. Then Celia ran in, unexpectedly, and grabbed hold of Alby, heaving.

"CELIA!" I screamed, trying to run, with sudden flashes of pain shooting up my leg. The Maze walls began to close. "GET BACK HERE! THE WALLS!"

The walls inched together, the sparks flying. "_CELIA!_" I screamed. "_IT'S TOO LATE! MINHO, CELIA, COME BACK!_" But they wouldn't listen. They tried to pick up the pace. I could see Minho shrieking at Celia, and at one point tried to shove her back, but she knocked his arm aside and carried on, ignoring him.

Suddenly, I saw Thomas's body tense, as if to run.

"Don't you dare! Don't you bloody dare, Tommy!" I shrieked, trying to reach him, but this bloody leg stopped me.

And Thomas ran in.

Celia looked back at me. Her facial expression was rock solid. She just shook her head sadly at me, heaving the body. Saying she couldn't just leave them.

The walls gave a rolling groan as it closed together. "_NOO!_" I screamed, losing myself completely. Four in a night. No. Four in a night, including Celia.

The next thing I remember was waking up in my hammock, Celia's scent but a faint whiff, in the middle of the night.

**Woooop. :3**

**Sorry this chapter isn't as long XP I have to finish this stupid French presentation... why, school, why?**

**Celia's getting confusing, huh? A small explanation: she's still depressed, and even though Newt's really helping her, she still struggles with it.**

**Okie I must go :3 Thanks so much to Krisicake and Young Wild Free.0.o for reviewing and faving! It is really really really appreciated! Whenever I sorta lost motivation I just re-read your reviews and it got me going again :)**

**So yes, please, fave review and follow, it truly keeps me going and makes my day :D**

**~mondonxx**


	13. Chapter 13

**Celia's POV**

"If you thought that was shucking brave, coming in here, too shucking bad! You slintheads! Idiots! Now we're all gonna die!" Minho hissed, glaring at Thomas and I. I shrugged. "And Cece, I don't get it. You'd just leave Newt for a death sentence!?" He yelled, and I shrank back. "I thought you'd thought more of him! You know, he's probably crushed now. You might have just been the one thing he was living for, and now you're dead." He leaned in close, and whispered, "He can be suicidal. He tried, you know. How he got his limp." I just nodded.

"I know." I choked out. I don't know why I stayed with Minho. I just couldn't leave them, not when we were so close, not when they were gonna die when I stood by and watched.

"If you knew, then it must have been deliberate, huh!?" screamed Minho. "You _want_ him to die!?"

"NO!" I screamed at him, giving him a shove. "Don't try to make assumptions. You shuck-faced shank! You won't get it. Just leave it." I was getting too angry, and tried to exercise out the anger, clenching and unclenching my fists.

Then we heard it. Whirring and clicking. A shiver ran down my body. I looked to Minho. "What's the best way to survive?" I asked. He shook his head.

"Split up, and keep moving. Remember your way." Minho said, before turning and running. I shook my head.

"Thomas, stay with me. I might have a panic attack." He nodded, white as a ghost.

"We have to do something about Alby. We can't just leave him there." He grabbed his ankles, and nodded towards his wrists. "Maybe we can put him up the wall."

We tied his wrists to some vines. "Why don't we just do that, cut some vines, tie them to his ankles, and bring those vines as we climb? Then he'll swing upside down, and we can repeat until he's high enough." He looked at me for a second.

"You're smart, you know that?" I just shrugged, and bit off a vine. We managed to haul up Alby a good way until the Grievers were too close for comfort.

We clambered back down and looked at Alby, hanging there. "Gotta distract 'em," whispered Thomas. "They'll get Alby if he's just like that." I shuddered, but nodded.

Thomas and I waited by the T intersection, peering down the Maze until the clicking and whirring was surely just around the corner… and it was. A robotic leg made its appearance, and I saw Thomas stiffen out of the corner of my eye. Shaking, I stepped forward as it came around the corner.

"Oi! You bloody shucking Griever!" I screamed. The whirring noise stopped for a moment, before it slowly moved forward, and gradually sped up. "C'mon," I whispered to Thomas. He was staring at me - not enough time to ponder why. We ran. Flat out ran, trying vaguely to remember what turns we took, but we ran fast.

Unfortunately, I'm not the fittest. I can run a reasonable way, I'm in no way unfit, I'm just not super fit - but Thomas is. I started to breathe pretty hard after a few minutes of sprinting, but Thomas seemed fine.

Suddenly, I realised something was wrong. The sound was coming from both directions. "Stop!" I hissed, pulling on his shirt, and cocked my head. My eyes widened in horror as I realised we were going to be surrounded. I jogged down the passage, then the other way, and my heart sank. "We're surrounded." I breathed, leaning against the wall. Thomas ran to check himself - I don't blame him.

"Shit." he cursed, turning to me.

"We have to go down fighting. We'll try to get past some of them, maybe we can dodge through them. Have to try something, anyway." I say, thinking of Newt. I have to try for him. Thomas pursed his lips, and nodded.

They came, clicking around the corner, menacing as ever. I was thinking hard; could I slide underneath them? But their legs weren't spaced out enough.

Thomas ran forward, and yelled at the Grievers. They sped up, and he ran straight at them. "Thomas!" I yelled, but he veered off at the last second, the Grievers running straight past him, thrown by momentum. _Good idea,_ I thought, and prepared myself. I ran straight toward them, and dodged right at the last second - but I didn't do it fast enough. I hadn't anticipated the Griever's leg that caught my left foot, sending me sprawling into the ground. The thing was, the foot was pinching my ankle, and I was jerked by my ankle along with the Griever - a flash of pain as my knee dislocated.

Pain. I couldn't move that leg, it was so painful, something, anything, stop it, I have to get up for Newt, I have to get out–

"Cece!" yelled Minho - Minho!? I looked up, and saw Thomas standing beside Minho, their faces masks of horror. I turned my head just in time to see a syringe being exposed. As it darted down, my arm automatically came up and - _clickety click_ - the syringe was knocked out and it skittered on the Maze floor. It was pure luck; if my arm had come up a millisecond later, the syringe would be buried in my skin right now. I shrieked fearfully as I grabbed a Griever leg and tried to bend it up, anything to distract it, while I dug in my heel to the floor and, excruciatingly, tried to fix my knee.

Thomas and Minho were still standing there. Thomas had run forward to try and help, but the other Grievers made it too risky. "Run, you shuck-faces! Run! You expect me to take pain for you to just stand there!?" I shrieked at them.

With one sharp pop, my knee clicked back into place after I slammed my heel into the ground, forcing my lower leg to push back up to my upper leg. The pain made me scream, it hurt so much, and it took me a moment to get my thoughts together. The kneecap was out of place, but I twisted my leg slightly, and it clicked back too. All the while, I was trying to bend the Griever leg, giving me time to try and right my leg while it tried to fight me off. I could feel the Griever tearing at my flesh viciously, and I finally managed to scramble out from under it, towards where Thomas and Minho stood, dumbstruck. "RUN!" I screeched, grabbing their arms and trying to haul them on. I couldn't run much at all, rather, I fast-limped, but it was fast enough. My entire body ached with the deep cuts that the Griever did, and my leg.

"I have an idea!" yelled Minho (_Hallelujah,_ I thought). "Follow me! Celia, keep going to the end, you can't help with this." I agreed, then followed Minho as he ran, clearly knowing the way. He reached a different passage; it had a long drop down one side. He pointed me to the end of the corridor, and I jogged there and collapsed to the ground. I sat myself against a wall, watching him and Thomas.

"Do that dive thingy with me. The Grievers will fall down the cliff if you do it right. Okay?" Thomas nodded.

The Grievers burst around the corner. I watched fearfully, as they began the motions; running towards the Grievers as they ran to them. _Dodge!_ I thought, and they both did simultaneously - it was great to watch. The Grievers fell beautifully down the Cliff.

But the Griever attack had been taking its toll, and watching Thomas and Minho run straight at the Grievers was a bit much. The shaking had started a while ago, and now I had to face it: another one was coming.

"We did it." breathed Thomas. "Do you think we killed all of them?" Minho snorted.

"Thomas..." I managed. His head snapped around to me, starting to curl up tightly.

"Are you... oh no. Celia." He hurried over, sitting down beside me and rubbing my back. It wasn't helping - he wasn't Newt. _Newt,_ I cried out in my mind, before the panic really started to set in. "Shh, Celia..." Thomas tried and tried, but I didn't want to be close to him - he was making me uncomfortable, even though he had good intentions.

Until I didn't think about it anymore. And the world zoned out, and I was in my little bubble, nausea crashing over me in waves. Shaking, sweating, the usual panicking that choked me. I just squeezed my eyes shut, and waited.

And waited. It seemed to take forever, nausea and panic and lack of breath cycling over and over in my head.

And finally, I froze, completely out of control, and darkness took me.

**Sooo :3 yep. Celia turns out to be pretty damn smart and strong. :)**

**Too tired to write much, but I'll keep chugging along with this fanfiction. Please please please review and fave and follow, it keeps me going and gives me motivation to finish this :D**

**okie gnight :) thanks so much for reading.**

**mondonxx**


	14. Chapter 14

**Newt's POV**

In the morning, I dragged myself out to the entrance they left in.

Celia. Celia. I couldn't accept it. I had found something to live for, but now… I squeezed into a ball like Celia does. Did.

Chuck came and sat beside me. "Minho's smart." He whispered, trying to have hope. I didn't even respond.

The walls began to open, and my heart began to speed up. Moment of truth.

I peered through the crack, and my heart sank. Nothing. Just the normal walls – wait. Something was on the wall, tangled in the vines. "Stay here," I whispered to Chuck, and took a few steps into the Maze. It was Alby. They had managed to tie Alby's body high up the wall, making it easy for us to get his body.

"Will! I need your help with something." I called. Will trotted over. "Alby's body. They got him up there – we need to get him down."

With some difficulty, Will managed to clamber up and free his wrists, grabbing onto Alby so that he didn't swing down too sharply. "Gonna drop him." Will said, freeing his ankle. "You ready?"

"Gotcha." I said. He undid his last ankle and Alby fell. I held out my arms, and when he hit my arms, I immediately let the momentum carry him to the ground - I was only cushioning his fall, careful not to let his head hit the ground. Will climbed back down as I checked Alby's condition.

Amazing. He was still alive, even though he hadn't gotten the serum cure. They must have… distracted the Grievers… oh no.

The time period of carrying Alby to the med-jacks and going to the Maze entrance again seemed non-existent. All I did was stare at the Maze, thinking about how 12 hours before, Celia was still alive, standing right there in the Maze.

Then something _moved._ In the Maze. I gasped, and stood up. Minho and Thomas emerged, clearly exhausted, and Thomas was carrying _Celia._ "CELIA!" I yell, not caring about anything else, and rushed in to take her from Thomas. "Is she dead?" I asked, as I took her, then registered that she was still warm.

"Slim it, Newt. She had a panic attack." Minho said, collapsing by the entrance. "I'll get the med-jacks." I said, and headed off, amazement washing over me – they survived. All of them. Even Celia.

It was only then that I looked at Celia properly, and saw that she had deep gashes all over her, bruises, and lumps on the back of her head. My heart clenched in fear; a night in the Maze… with Grievers… and Celia survived.

…

**Celia's POV**

I woke up to dull pain everywhere, especially my leg. I groaned, and rolled over. I hadn't wanted to wake up.

"Celia?"

Then everything flooded back. The Maze, I had fainted, we'd escaped the Grievers, and _Newt_, that was–

"NEWT!" I yelled as loudly as I could, though it came out weak and croaky, as I snapped open my eyes. I felt him hug me awkwardly horizontally, and I pulled him into the hammock. I wasn't thinking straight, that wasn't a normal action was it? Oops.

"Hey!" laughed Newt, rolling off me. "Good to see you too, Cece, bloody hell. Just slow down, you're injured."

"And you think I give a shuck?" I muttered. He grinned, then became serious and stern.

"What the bloody hell were you shucking thinking." He said, and suddenly, it wasn't funny anymore. I looked at him and saw pain in his eyes.

"I couldn't just leave them." I whispered, looking away. There was a thick silence.

"We're gonna have to have a Gathering about you and Thomas, you know. You guys broke the rule. And we have to have some sort of order here." I exhaled.

"Bring it on." I said stubbornly. He sighed.

"So what's my condition, then? I can move around, right?"

"Hold it. They're just trying to decide with your leg, it doesn't look quite right, apparently."

"Oh, that's right, it dislocated."

"It WHAT!?" Newt yelped, jumping up.

"It's not that bad, you know. At least you can fix dislocation if you do it right." I shrugged as best I could in the hammock.

"Okay, you and Thomas and Minho, we're gonna have a Gathering. Clint's just getting some makeshift crutches for you." I sat up slowly, examining my body. I had cuts everywhere – including… I lifted up my shirt slightly, and saw all the cuts on my torso had been treated too.

"Wow. _Wow._ So is Clint and Jeff mentally scarred for life now?" I asked, grinning.

"Huh?" Newt didn't get it. I gestured to my torso. "Oh…" Newt's cheeks flushed red. "That was… It wasn't like we…" I just laughed.

Clint walked in with two branches. "Oh, you're awake. Here's your crutches." He handed them to me.

"Thanks," I said, standing up and trying them out. "They're awesome. Let's go."

The Gathering involved all the Keepers. "In place of Alby, who's ill, I declare this gathering begun." Newt said, rolling his eyes a little. He hated formality, obvious. "We're here cuz Thomas and Celia broke the rule of never going into the Maze. We'll go around, say some opinions, and we'll decide what to do with them from there. First, let's do Celia - ladies first." He nodded to me.

"Okay, you first, Zart."

He looked uncertain. "I don't know. She was only trying to help Alby and Minho, it wasn't like she wanted to escape or do anything. She had no intention of going any further. On the other hand, it's agreed that if there were two people that needed help in the Maze, that we wouldn't send anyone to help them, to try and conserve more lives. I'm on the fence."

"Any recommendations?" Newt asked, holding a pencil over a notepad.

"I reckon punish her, say, a day or two in the Slammer, then let her free. It's not like we should quash her humanity." Zart shrugged.

"What!?" Winston yelped. "That's nothing! We can't let her go like that. If it happens again, we know she'll just do it again, she won't think of consequences. We need order."

"Winston, slim it. You'll get your bloody turn. Frypan, you're next."

"Come on, look at her. I think she's got her punishment good, she probably will rethink it next time. Anyway, even though we have to survive, we can't try to destroy humanity, like Zart said. It's the only good thing we have. And it's clear the girl's got guts - probably more than most of us put together. Who would give their life only to try and help goners?"

"So what's your recommendations?"

"No punishment. Let her go. And I mean, come on. We need her in the kitchen, her crumble is heaven. She got good talent."

Newt grimaced. "Let's keep food and her talent at bloody _cooking _out of this, please."

Next was a Keeper I didn't know so well, but was one that I hated automatically. I hated the way he looked at me, everything.

"Let's keep her. She's fine." That's all he said, looking me up and down the whole time. I shivered, turning away slightly.

"O-kay..." Newt said, staring at him. "Next - Winston."

"I say at least 3 weeks in the Slammer for being such a shucking idiot."

I heard a few mutters at this, some for, some against. Newt's face hardened slightly, but he wrote it down without saying anything.

The Keepers seemed mostly towards punishing me for a day or two, then letting me go. Newt wasn't going to say his opinion because he didn't want anyone to accuse him of bias. In the end, I got sentenced to one day and one night in the Slammer. It wasn't too bad, I guess. I was a bit more worried about Thomas, to be honest - he was a Greenie.

They were just as brutal with him. It was going toward my punishment, until it was Winston's turn.

"I'm... suspicious of the Greenie." Winston said, sounding careful in how he chose his words. "He turns up. Another bloody girl in a coma arrives the day after him, holding a freaky note, then a Griever plays dead. He survives a night in the Maze. He's different, and unpredictable. Since he's come, there are changes everywhere. Surely, he knows something more."

"And what's your recommendation?" Newt asked.

"I say... Slammer until we decide how best to approach this. This is a pretty complex issue." Winston said. He sounded slightly uncertain, as if he hadn't quite figured out his view.

"Alright... and lastly, Minho." I was interested to hear his view, seeing as he had been there with us.

"Well... I was there, I saw what he did, and while I was runnin' fast as I can like a coward, Thomas here stayed with Celia and they managed to get Alby up that wall a good way. Then he comes up with this dodging move that we used to kill Grievers. It's shucking amazing. You'd have to have been there. I nominate this shank... as Keeper of the Runners."

I gaped at him, as did Thomas. The room was completely silent for a moment, then all hell broke loose.

"SHUT IT, SLINTHEADS!" Newt had to yell at least five times before the noise started to die down. He shook his head disbelievingly. "You'll need to give us more on this. Why Keeper? You have to talk it up to move it forward."

"Listen, shanks. He's a shucking Greenie, hasn't even done his first week. Remember how we all were - boohooing and refusing to help, until we had to say 'shuck it' because there's nothing else to do. He landed himself in the shucking _Maze_ for god's sake, and he wasn't being a stupid little baby or anything. He stayed and helped Alby, he stayed with Celia, and he knew what was out there by now. Grievers and creepy stuff. But this shank? While I was running evasive tactics, this shank somehow got himself out of a situation where he was surrounded. It's psycho, and crazy. I'm still trying to work it out."

"So he got a little lucky." Winston snorted.

"You don't get it, shuck-face! You have no idea how it is out there. And he just acted like a superhuman. That's my recommendation." Minho finished abruptly.

"Right." Newt said. He sat a little straighter. "My recommendation is to punish him - same as Celia, since they were pretty much in the same situation. Then I reckon we make him runner. He _has_ proven himself good enough. Minho, you agree?" Minho nodded, satisfied. "And I also say he talks 'bout the Grievers, and whatever the shuck he did out there. We should use him. Thomas, wanna say anything?"

Thomas leapt at the chance. "Yes!" He gathered his thoughts. "I was just trying to help two people who were in trouble. But, I have to talk about something else. Something's not been going right. I'm just gonna tell you guys what happened in the Maze, because something will become pretty clear."

"Make it quick, Greenie." Newt said.

"So, we're shut in. Minho tells us to split up and separates from us. Celia asked me to stay with her because of her panic attacks. We haul Alby up the wall - and the way we did it was pretty efficient, and _Celia's idea._ Next, we try to distract the Grievers from Alby. We run, then Celia figures out we're surrounded. I somehow get out, I don't know, but Celia tries and her leg gets caught. Next thing, she's being jerked along by a freaking Griever, her knee dislocates along the way, and the whole time I'm just standing there, watching. Minho comes back, and she nearly gets stung - but she knocks the needle out of the sucker's arm. She bends the Griever's leg, while fixing up her knee herself - which by the way, sounded like it shucking _hurt_ - then tells us to run. The Griever was tearing away at her, and she isn't even crying or anything, she's just fighting and manages to _escape._ She escapes from a Griever attack. Minho makes me sound heroic, but really, Celia was way stronger in there."

I flushed, and shrank back. All the Keepers, including Newt, was gaping at me. Thomas made me sound brilliant - but I wasn't, really. "No." I said. "Thomas, stop putting me in the spotlight. We all know you were the one that killed the Grievers, the one that refused to leave Alby behind, the one that manages to escape. Me, I get shucking caught up in Grievers, making a problem, but you got out smoothly. It was amazing, like Minho said. I just created more problems for you."

There was a small silence. "Come on, shanks." Thomas said, appealing to the council. "She's just being modest, she got out of a Griever attack!"

"Out of pure luck!" I said, shaking my head.

"Slim it. I... we're deciding Thomas's fate right now. We can talk about that after, outside the Gathering. You've had your say. It's time to make our decision. Let's put it to the vote. Shall we sentence him for the same as Celia, one day and one night, then make him a runner?"

Everyone said their approval, except for Winston, who seemed adamant. "So what's bothering ya?" Newt asked him.

"Just... everything's been shucked up since he came. We can't just discount that."

"Well, we'll all think about it. It's decided, then. Gathering adjourned." Newt concluded. Everyone broke into chatter, and several stares were shot my way. Thomas was shaking his head, then glanced at me, but I looked away.

Suddenly, now that everything was over, I became extremely tired. Yawning, I turned and slowly hobbled/hopped with the help of the crutches to the exit.

"Is it true!?" Newt asked me, shocked, as soon as he reached me.

"What you talking 'bout?" I asked him.

"You fought off a bloody Griever while somehow fixing your dislocated knee, then running off!?" He asked in awe. I shrugged.

"It's not as bad as you think it sounds." I said. He gave a big exclamation.

"So you _did!?_" He yelled. I closed my eyes.

"Please shut it. I'm dead on my feet." I groaned.

"Sorry. Here, I can carry you." He offered, bending down slightly, waiting for my response.

"You sure?"

He snorted. "Not like you're heavy."

I roll my eyes, then nod at him. He scooped me up easily, and I got to bury my face in his shoulder, breathing deeply. I was asleep before we got there.

**LOOOONG chapter, wow, took me ages. It's my longest chapter yet, even longer than my first chapter!**

**In this chapter I sorta followed what happens in the book a bit more XP**

**Not much else to say, but I hope you're enjoying. Please please please review and fave and follow!**

**Thanks for reading**

**~mondonxx**


	15. Chapter 15

_It's all over the news. The Flare. It scares me. I look to mum and dad, and see their fear._

_Then one day, all hell breaks loose. We wake up to someone trying to get in, screaming that they have the Flare, and that they want to die. Dad grabbed me, and as a family, we ran to the safe place they'd been constructing over the last few months. Everyone was gathering there, going ballistic. I see families with screaming babies, crying toddlers, pale-faced teenagers._

_It's not a nice place. We're crammed into small rooms together, and the people in charge struggled to give out enough food. We live there for a month or so, together. Mum and Dad always stress to me that their only fear is for me to be hurt._

_Then he comes in. A staff member. He says, apologetically, that there's no room. The older people can't stay here. The children are going to be given a fighting chance._

_And they leave. My parents. They said their goodbyes, they said they loved me, and always will. By the time they leave, I'm screaming, even though I've turned 13 and should be old enough to not throw screaming fits. I have panic attacks, but nothing changes it. They have to go. I tell them I love them so much, and will never, ever forget them. I tell them thanks for such a beautiful childhood, even if I did have social anxiety, which I feel selfish for now. I say my goodbye, choked up. And when they leave, I cry day and night, for so many weeks. It ruined me. They loved me._

_And then WICKED came in and took me._

I gasp, coming awake, eyes snapping open. I look around to see the Gladers all filing to bed, full from dinner. I lay back down, and start to cry, as silently as I could, and I couldn't stop. I still couldn't remember their faces, couldn't remember much at all, but the pain and love from the memory still broke me down.

I can't cry here, not where everyone is. Drying my face, I try to calm down enough not to be stopped, get up, then went to the forest. I looked for a tree to climb, and clambered up, like it was the most natural thing in the world, ignoring the pain from my leg. I climb to the highest possible branches I could, so that I could almost peek out the top, and sit there, sobbing freely. The pain ripped at my chest, that love that I had. I loved my parents, I really did, and they had loved me enough that they'd sacrifice themselves for me without hesitation. I cried for being so ungrateful to them all those years, all those times I could have said "I love you," and I didn't.

It was a long time. But when I finally managed to calm down, I wiped my face, clambered down, got a drink of water, then snuck over to the Homestead. Newt was still sitting up with a concerned frown on his face, but he lit up when he saw me, and stood up. "Bloody hell, Cece," he whispered, pulling me to him. "I didn't know where you were. You could have told me. I was so worried that another shank was getting you, I was just about to get up to go check."

"It's okay, Newt." I whispered. But I couldn't let go from his embrace. He seemed to sense that I had a meltdown, and pulled me down into the hammock with him.

"Are you okay?" He asked, wrapping his arms around me protectively. I nod, and bury my face into his shoulder, like I always do. His smell calms me down, and eventually, I somehow drift back to sleep.

...

_"She'll be a very good variable, that's for sure." he said to Ava, nodding to me. She agreed._

_"A test subject with severe social anxiety, leading to panic attacks. It will test their endurance emotionally. Perfect. Should we send her to Group A or Group B?"_

_The man considered me. "I should think Group A, actually. While they are opposite genders, I think Group A would find her more challenging, as females can tend to want to talk about things more, which may help her. Of course, we want to push them to their maximum potential."_

_"Yes. She's an extra variable that we don't have for Group B, but she'll give us enough data from one group."_

_I sit there, waiting for them to finish their musings. "Very well. Send her with the Group A subjects for now."_

_It blurs, then I'm slowly opening the door to the dormitory, my heart stuttering. A head pokes out, then his eyes widen. "Hey! You're new, aren't you!" It pops back, then a guy with brown hair emerges. "I'm Thomas." He said, extending his hand. Already, I've got the shakes._

_"Um… Celia… nice to m-meet you." I whispered, not taking his hand, staring at it._

_"O… Okay then. Hey, guys, c'mon. We got another one."_

_Then several people pop out, mostly guys, but with one girl. I feel my eyes widen in horror, taking in all these strangers. Shaking my head, I slowly back into the door, terrified out of my wits. "Hey, I'm Siggy."_

_"I'm Jack."_

_"Will here."_

_"I'm Teresa." The girl said, then cocked her head. "Are you alright?"_

_No, no, no, I chanted in my head, and with fumbling fingers, got out some of my liquorice. I popped one into my mouth. "Hey, you aren't gonna share?" asked another guy._

_"No, I, it calms me down, it's not–"_

_"Calms you down? I hardly think that's why. C'mon, don't be selfish."_

_"No, leave me alone, please!" I start to panic, the liquorice wasn't calming me down with all these judgmental stares._

_"What's wrong?"_

_I curl into my ball, shaking hard, and the nausea starts. Squeezing my eyes shut as usual, I clap my hands over my ears, and whisper "shh." to myself over and over. Such a soothing sound, when softly spoken. I feel a hand on my shoulder, and freak out, jerking away. I went through the motions, and blacked out._

_When I woke up, I saw Teresa sitting by me. "What happened!?" She asked as soon as she saw I was awake. I sat up, running a hand through my hair. "I have social anxiety." I replied. "I get panic attacks."_

_"Panic attacks!?" My head snapped around. Another guy was sitting there, with blond hair and a square jaw. He seemed tall, and reasonably strong._

_"Yes... especially with strangers." I whispered, face red with shame._

_"That's alright." He replied kindly, smiling at me. I nod gratefully, and stand up._

_It blurs again, and then I see just a glance of life when I'd settled in. I sat in the far corner, everyone else socialising, but what got me was that he would sometimes glance my way._

I slowly woke up, groaning - I had slept for way too long, I could feel it. "Finally," sighed a familiar voice. I turned my head to see Newt. "You've been sleeping for ages. It's lunchtime now."

"WHAT!" I sit up fast, then fall back down, dizzy.

"Easy there," he laughed. "We're giving you a day or so to recover from the Maze, so don't worry."

I sat up again, more slowly, and hopped out. Then I gave him a humungous hug, crushing him to me.

"I missed you. In the Maze." I whispered.

"Delayed reaction much?" He laughed, but he patted me on the back.

"Can we go to the forest?" I asked eagerly. If I had a free day, I might as well use it.

"Sure. But I'll probably have some duties later. I've rather been neglecting them recently." he chuckled.

In the forest, we went as deep as we could, before lying down together. We lay in silence, staring through the trees into the sky.

"Celia?"

"Hm?"

"Do you dream about me?"

My head snapped around. "Why would you think that?" I asked, a little too sharply.

"You do talk in your sleep, you know."

I gaped at him. "_What?_ I thought Winston was only joking!" I gasped, horrified. He grinned at me.

"Sorry to break it to you, but it's true."

I groaned, embarrassed. "What do I say?"

"Well..." he trailed off. "Mostly, well, my name. But recently it's been weirder stuff, more about WICKED and just last night, you kept making a 'shh' sound."

"Oh. Yeah." I say, still disbelieving. I actually talk in my sleep? I say _his_ name in my sleep?

"So what do you dream about, when you're not dreaming memories?" He asked, and I see a glint in his eye that means he knows exactly what he's asking - and that he's gleeful about it. I flush.

"Just nice dreams outside. Like in a meadow." Then I remember that that was the first dream where we kissed. Uh oh. If I'm not a deeper red than a cherry, I will be in a second.

"Interesting. I've never seen you shucking blush so much, you know." He said, and he's teasing me.

"Shut up," I say weakly, extremely embarrassed, turning away from him.

"Don't be like that." He pleads, and his arm closes over my waist, pulling me to him. "Tell me. I'm curious."

My fingers start to drum against the ground. "Do I have to?" I whispered pleadingly. He chuckles in my ear.

"Please, Celia. I'm so curious." And he's begging me. How can I say no to that!?

"Stop charming me. It's working too well." I say, half amused, half embarrassed. He chuckles again, then waits.

"Well... the first one... we were here in the forest. You said that you loved me."

Realising how blatantly I said it, I tensed up. "When was this?" Newt asked.

"The night you first managed to calm me down from panicking. After Frypan and Minho talked to me. So I was asking, "Love love?" And you said yes. We were so close in that dream..." I coughed a little, and hastily moved on. "There were a few like that one. Then when it changed, I was singing you to sleep - don't ask why. I was just kinda humming this tune and you fell asleep. Then you looked so adorable that..."

I stopped talking for a moment. "This is too awkward." I say, backing out, "I'm gonna stop."

"You can't do that!" exclaimed Newt. I turned back around to see him looking at me. "Don't stop, it's... I wanna hear!" He was smiling, enjoying this.

"No." I mumble, ducking my head, embarrassed. "It's way too embarrassing. Please don't make me."

Suddenly, his face was unbelievably close, our noses and foreheads touching. "Please?" he whispered, and we were sharing breaths. All I could see were his eyes, wide and begging me. For a moment, all I could do was stay frozen in shock at how close we actually were. Then I sighed, and gave up.

"Fine. I pecked you on the lips, and you woke up." I say, pulling away again. "Then you laughed and we stayed together." His face lit up.

"Your mind conjures up bloody cute stories." he said, grinning. I ducked my head again.

"Then the meadow one. It was a sort of overgrown place, and we were lying down, looking at the sky. For some reason, you started laughing, so I joined in, then you... kissed me. On the forehead."

"Aww! I thought it would have been on your lips!" Newt groaned, throwing up his hands. I laughed for a while on that. "But that's like saying 'here, have this humungous chocolate bunny', then someone saying 'oh no you can only have a quarter of it.' Crushes the dreams, you know?"

I grin hugely. Caught him. "What dreams?" I ask slyly. He tenses up.

"Shuck. Caught me good, Cece." he said in surrender.

"TELL ME!" I practically shout.

"Finish the dream first."

"So basically you kiss me forehead, nose, cheek, then mouth, then just laying together, now TELL ME!"

"Bloody hell, calm down. You don't needa get so excited." he said, scratching behind his head nervously. I just look at him, waiting, excitement flooding me.

"Is this in your dreams at night?" I ask when he doesn't start straight away. He gives me a sideways glance.

"No... I don't remember my dreams."

"Then what are they!?"

He blushed a little, which I found so adorable I had a hard time resisting the urge to kiss him. "Uh... daydreams."

"Even better." I whisper elatedly.

**Newt's POV**

Shuck shuck shuck. Bloody bloody hell. She's so sharp she caught me easily. She has no idea how intense they are recently. They're even worse than her cute dreams of shy kisses in overgrown meadows.

Her whole face is lit up in excitement, waiting for me to say something.

No.

"No. I'm not sharing."

"Unfair, you shank! I tell you mine, then you back out saying yours?" she exclaimed, elbowing me. I grin sheepishly at her.

"Life's unfair."

"_You're_ unfair, get it right." she snorted. Then she propped herself up on one elbow, staring at me. After a moment, I see her eyes getting red, and to my shock, I see tears down her face.

"Newt…" she whispered, looking completely heartbroken, then suddenly it all changes. She tips her head back and laughs, then curses. "Dammit. I nearly had you!" she laughed. Completely confused, I just stared at her for a moment. "I can cry at will." she explains, rubbing away the tears, and looking completely normal again. "It nearly worked."

"You bloody _scared_ me." I whisper, still in shock. She laughed and shifted over to press her face to my arm.

"Seriously, though. _Tell _me." she insisted.

"No." I say, mimicking her tone and trying very hard not to think about them. I swallowed a little, and turned to look at the sky.

Then I saw her, close to me, and before I realised what was happening, she was pressing her lips to mine.

**And I must end it there or I will never bloody finish this chapter XD**

**Did I achieve fluff? I have no idea, please review saying if I did cuz this is first time writing fan fiction and I'm not very good at communicating stuff sometimes.**

**:3 I did like writing this though. Fave, review, follow, please please please!**

**mondonxx**


	16. Chapter 16

**Newt's POV**

For a moment, I couldn't process what was happening. Then my hand twisted into her hair, my other hand on her back, pulling her closer to me. When she broke away, she looked at me in the eyes for a moment before burying her face in my shoulder - embarrassed. Of course she was.

"Celia," I breathed, still in awe of what happened. She looked up at me hesitantly, and I touched my nose to hers. "I… love you." I whispered, blinking at her. She went even redder at this, but without breaking eye contact, whispered;

"I love you too."

We just lay there for a while, watching the shadows change.

Then I heard a rustle of leaves, and someone whispering, "Shh, slinthead!"

I closed my eyes. "Frypan, we can hear you. What the bloody hell do you think you're doing?"

"Dammit! If it weren't for you, Frankie, we could'a seen some smooching!" Frypan emerged, leaves scattered over his top. I hugged Celia tighter for a moment - thank goodness he didn't see us kissing then.

"Anyway, erm, Alby needed you, Newt. Something about neglecting duties and being love-sick." Frankie grinned at me. I nodded, sitting up and stretching.

**Celia's POV**

I stayed in the forest, and when I was alone again, I touched my fingertips to my lips.

I had kissed Newt, second-in-command of the Gladers, and he had kissed me back.

The thought made me grin so wide it hurt. He liked me too. He daydreamed about me.

I shivered for a moment, and hugged myself. Love felt so beautiful and sweet.

That night, I curled up with Newt again, but it felt a little different now that we'd taken that step - more nerve-wracking, expectation. I was also afraid to go to sleep for fear of saying something completely embarrassing in my sleep...

His lips pressed to mine again, uncertain, and I brought my hand up to his cheek, holding him, enjoying this little sweet luxury that were stolen and secret. Our secret.

We broke off, and I looked around for a moment idly - then saw _Zart staring at us._

My face reddened as I stared at him in horror. But it was okay - he just grinned at me and winked, before settling into his own cot. Thank god not everyone is as bad as Frypan!

The next day, Newt had several duties to take care of, mostly involving Thomas and Alby (going through the Changing), but that was okay because my punishment started. Winston came to get me after breakfast, after he got Thomas out, so I sit here, daydreaming.

...

It's a lot harder than I thought. It's not lunchtime but I'm already bored. And I have to _sleep _here tonight.

...

I'd gone through every possible scenario that I'd liked in my head with Newt. I'd tried to make up problems for myself to solve, but they were never interesting enough to motivate me. Lunch was bread and cheese, some water.

...

Ugh. It's not nighttime yet, and I've come to occupy myself with watching the clouds and trying to make shapes out of them - along with thinking a lot about W.I.C.K.E.D and my past. I stayed away from my parents, but I wondered about my social anxiety. How long have I had it?

...

It's finally dark, and dinner - some bread again and a little bit of some sort of stew - was given to me. This time, I drew out eating for as long as I could, just so that I had something to do. I decided to go to sleep - anything to pass the time.

...

I keep waking up. The floor was unforgiving, and the night was a little cold. At least I had Newt's hoodie on. It smelled so comforting.

...

"Cece, wake up. Punishment's over." whispered Newt, waking me.

I open my eyes to the open door, and sit up, stretching. "Frypan wants you in the kitchen. Runners've been fed, but now theres the other 30 guys we gotta think 'bout." I groaned, but got up, and staggered into Newt. I was too stiff from the night. He wound his arms around me and pecked my cheek before shoving me off slightly to the kitchen, laughing quietly to himself as I tried to walk normally.

Frypan kept up a non-stop stream of questions, which was awkward because they were all about Newt and me - especially since yes, we had kissed. And he was going to see it. I tried my best, but...

"Soooooo. You shanks… you know… made out yet? Hot scenes of ripping off each other's clothes?"

"Eww! Frypan, gross. You know I'd never even think about taking my hoodie off around you guys."

"Of course, not around us… but maybe around your hot Newt-shank, yeah?"

"Shucking hell, Frypan! No. Just, no. Gross. Can you move on to something we can actually _talk_ about?"

But he completely ignored me. "Or are you guys takin' it reeaaall slow? Trying to tease each other?"

I put down my tongs, and turned to him, hands on hips. "What kind of sick mind do you _have?_"

Grinning, he put his hands to his chest, and imitated; "OHHH NEWT, BABE! YEAH, LIKE THA–"

I thunked him on the head, flushing. "I would NEVER–"

"OH SWEET HONEY IF YOU KEEP DOING THAT I'LL GIVE YOU THE RIDE OF–"

"_FRYPAN, WHAT THE HELL!" _I shrieked, laughing despite myself. I quickly tended to the sausages, which were burning, while Frypan poorly imitated sounds I hope I would never EVER make in my entire life.

...

Zart came over to see why breakfast was taking so long to Frypan dancing around shrieking high "OH YEAH BABE!" sounds while I was trying to dish up some home-made tomato sauce to go with the sausages.

"Frypan, we've all been waiting for ages! Hurry up and serve breakfast!"

"Done." I say, turning over the last sausage.

Zart looked at me for a long moment, as Frypan calmed down. I didn't like his look… mischievous. He walked to Frypan, whispered something in his ear, then walked away smirking as Frypan giggled (yes, GIGGLED) and said "Thanks, brother!"

Narrowing my eyes, I left Frypan to serve everyone as he hadn't helped at all.

"Newt," I say, catching up to him with my plate full of slightly-burnt sausages. "You have GOT to help me," and I start laughing.

"What?"

"Frypan is the WORST fangirl ever, and he won't leave me alone in the kitchen - it's why breakfast was late, he was too busy doing imitations of me doing sex sounds." I laughed.

"Imitations of WHAT?" Newt started to laugh too. I shake my head.

"Frypan!" Newt called once breakfast had been served, "Come here a sec."

"Hey, Newt! How's it going?"

_Thunk_. "OW!" Frypan shrieked, grabbing his head.

"Stop bothering Cece, it's got breakfast out late." Newt turned back around and winked at me. Rubbing his head, he departed.

"Bloody hell, he had a head like a rock." grimaced Newt, rubbing his hand. I laughed.

"Here, I'll kiss it better." I nudged him playfully, before tenderly kissing it and rubbing gently.

"It's much better, thanks." mumbled Newt, blushing. I grin at him, and go to get some fruit for today's lunch.

...

"Um, Newt, Alby! C'mere!" I yelled, a little frantic. Newt tore over, and Alby came right on his heels. "The supplies." I say. "They're not up yet, and it's way past midday. Something's wrong."

They circled around the Box doors, frowning, as it sunk in.

"All this, it's ending. It started when that girl came up, and it's all gonna change. We have to find our way out, and I think that depends on Thomas and her."

Alby put his head in his hands. "Shucking hell."

Newt was shaking his head in disbelief. "It really is ending. We really are gonna have to get out of here or die."

The truth was sinking in.

That night, I kissed Newt (it turns out Frypan saw, but everyone was too morose to care that he saw us kiss), and turned over, thinking. The girl was going to wake up soon.

...

_I watched him on the screen._

_I wasn't going to be sent down, not for a long time. They didn't want to introduce a girl too early - they wanted them to settle in, find some sort of normality. I shook my head at the thought - nothing was ever going to be normal._

_He didn't change much when he lost his memory. He had that first week of shock and refusal to accept their situation, but he wasn't as bad as most, and had a very clear head. You could see Alby approving of him after the first week, and after a few months, he was made a Runner. Naturally; he was strong and smart. But after a while, you could see his demeanor getting more and more gloomy. Mechanical. I watched him, tiny tugs at my heart wondering if he was going through what I thought he was going through._

_He went out as usual, into the Maze, but this time he was looking around the walls pretty often. I watched, slightly bored, as he worked himself deep into the Maze, wondering what he was thinking. I'd already accepted he'd never remember his past, but I wish he remembered me._

_Looking up the wall, he stopped, and stood there for a moment. Then he started to climb, twisting his hands into the vines and placing his feet carefully on the wall. What was he doing?_

_When he'd reached the tops of the vines, he turned to face the wall opposite. Then, with stunning horror, I realised what he was going to do._

_No, I thought to myself, don't you dare. But he did._

_He pushed off the wall, his eyes widening as he plummeted to the ground._

_I screamed for him to stop, even though it was too late._

_He closed his eyes, and about 5 metres off the ground, he suddenly jerked and stopped. I looked in horror at his leg, caught in vines - it was clearly broken. He screamed in pain, trying to free himself, yelling himself hoarse asking "WHY! WHY!"_

_"I understand!" I cried, curling into a ball. "I understand, Newt, I understand! Please!"_

"Cece, wake up!"

I jerked awake. Newt was standing there, already up, wide-eyed.

"NEWT!" I screamed, already in tears, flinging my arms around him. I crumpled against him, feeling so shocked and grieved, crying at the injustice of it all. "Newt," I said again weakly, squeezing him (probably to death).

"It's okay, shh, Celia! What the buggin' hell did you dream about?"

"I understand!" was all I could reply, still in shock.

It took such a long time for me to finally calm down, though I could never get the feeling away from my heart - the shock and deep sadness that refused to stop restricting my heart.

"I saw," I managed, exhaling all my air. "I saw you jump."

He stiffened. "In the Maze?"

I nodded against his chest. "I saw you jump." I repeated pathetically, inclined to cry again - I quickly calmed myself again, so that I didn't.

He didn't say anything, just held me as I held him, listening to his heartbeat, thanking the world for his life, his breathing, his heart. What I was embracing right now is more important to anything else in the entire universe, and he could have been gone. I might never have found him.

I felt him shuffle nervously; something was up. I slowly lifted my head, and gasped.

The sky was grey, and the sun?

The sun was _gone._

**Haii :3**

**I nearly cried writing this chapter, it breaks my heart that he jumped D: omgg crying over fictional character deaths - story of my life.**

**This chapter is actually dedicated to 4 people: Sakura-chan, Young Wild Free0.o (if I try to type the . then it doesn't allow it), bookunicornx (who was my very first reviewer!), and Aussiesarah. Without your reviews this chapter probably would have only come up this Friday :3**

**Soooo please review and fave and follow, it motivates me, seriously!**

**Thanks for reading!**

**mondonxx**

**P.S I NOW HAVE OVER 3 AND A HALF THOUSAND VIEWS! THANK YOU SO MUCH! :D**


	17. Chapter 17

Sun gone. That means our plants won't grow. No supplies. They wanted it to end soon.

"Thomas is our key," I whispered, staring at the sky. "He has to be. They wouldn't just stick us here for 2 years then kill us off. We have to mean something. And with the Flare, our lives–"

"With the _what!_" Newt exclaimed suddenly. I gaped at him.

"Have your memories been telling you more?" he asked in shock.

Then I remembered my parents, and curled up. "Yeah." I croaked, remembering the crazy man that tried to break into our house. A shiver ran down my spine. "The Flare… a deadly disease that's so contagious you could breathe on someone and they'd get it. They built safe places, and when it reached where we lived, we stayed there. Then, my parents…" I just shook my head. I didn't want to relive it. "We must be here for a reason, someone put us here. Maybe they're getting results from us, or maybe this is just an extreme of a safe place. I'm not sure."

"Cece, why didn't you tell us?"

I looked at the ground for a moment. "I didn't want someone like Chuck knowing that there's no hope for Earth. It's pretty depressing. I think one of the main reasons we keep going is because of the hope that if we escape, we could find some sort of comfort." I looked back into his eyes, feeling like I did when I was twelve, completely devoid of all emotion, haunted. "There's no comfort out there. This is the closest we'll get, but we'll have to leave it. It'll be hard."

We stared at each other for a long moment, before I shook my head. "Sorry. I guess I should have told you, but I didn't want us to lose hope."

He didn't reply, just stood there. I pulled him to me for a moment. Then I turned and reported to Frypan.

All the gladers were very dull that day, gloomy. Even Frypan had laid off teasing me and Newt. Now that we knew we were being forced out of here, a blanket of emptiness and despair had covered us all. Our only hope was that the Runners would finally, after two years, find something.

That hope was kindled as Minho and Thomas came back. They found out where the Grievers went back in, and explained how it was some sort of illusion – they jumped into a hole, and seemed to disappear. They had managed to pinpoint exactly where it was.

While we were musing about the Griever Hole, as Thomas called it, we noticed a commotion by the Homestead - then Chuck came running up to us. "Chuck, what's going on?" Newt asked.

"SHE'S AWAKE!" he panted, hands on knees, looking breathless and excited. "THE GIRL IS AWAKE!"

Newt and I looked at each other before sprinting to see her. We entered the corridor, then we got around the corner and... everyone was clueless where she was. "Jeff!" yelled Newt, "Where the shuck did she go?"

"I-I dunno!" he said, seeming panicked, and a little defensive; "she was there one second and gone the next, I swear!"

I narrowed my eyes at him. It wasn't like she could teleport...

We found her talking to Thomas - they were deep in conversation. "How'd you get here? Med-jack said you were there one sec and buggin' gone the next!"

The girl stood up, facing him with all the confidence in the world (I felt a secret, jealous tug at my chest). "Guess he forgot to tell you the little part about me kicking him in the groin and climbing out the window." she smirked.

I couldn't help myself: I laughed and laughed, rolling on the ground, while Newt turned to Jeff and said "Well CONGRATS, Jeff. You're officially the first guy here to get your butt beat by a _girl_."

"Keep talking like that and you'll be next." She said menacingly. I laughed hysterically, earning me a kick from Alby.

Still chuckling, I stood up and extended a hand to this girl. "I'm Celia, you can call me Cece. And, talk about girl power! That musta been a good kick." I winked. She grinned at me and said, "Teresa," shaking my hand.

Alby stepped forward. "How do you and Thomas know each other? Who are you?"

Thomas's shoulders sagged. "Alby, I swear–"

"She came straight to you after waking up, shuck-face!"

I saw Thomas's face redden in anger. "So what!? I know her, she knows me - or at least, we _used_ to, but that doesn't mean anything! I can't _remember_ anything. Neither can she!"

But Alby seemed to ignore his answer. Turning to Teresa, he asked quietly, "What did you do?"

She said nothing, but looked at him. "WHAT DID YOU DO!?" Alby shrieked, "FIRST THE SKY, NOW _THIS_!"

"I triggered something. Not on purpose, I swear it. The Ending. I don't know what it means." she replied calmly.

In that moment she said that sentence, I realised something was wrong.

It was too dark. Eyes widening, I realised what Alby meant by "this".

"What's wrong? What's happened?" Thomas asked.

Alby grabbed his shirt, putting his face threateningly close. "What's happened? I'll tell ya what's happened, _shank_. Too busy makin' lovey eyes to bother lookin' around!? To bother noticing what freaking _time_ it is!?"

Thomas looked at his watch, and I saw his eyes widen in horror. "The _walls_, you shuck! The _Doors_. They didn't close tonight."

...

"I want her in the Slammer. Billy, Jackson! Throw her in the Slammer, and I don't care whatever the shuck she says."

"What are you talking about!?" Thomas exclaimed. "How could you possibly blame her for the walls not closing?"

Newt stepped forward, pushing Alby back slightly. "How could we not?" he asked sadly. I looked at Teresa's sad blue eyes, and looked down.

"Newt..." I whispered quietly, looking back at Teresa, who was looking at me, pleading with her eyes. I just shook my head at her, sadly. I had no power here.

...

Everyone was working, boarding up the Homestead with everything they could find, every torch gathered and distributed, and food being collected. Minho went to get all the weapons. I saw Thomas run up to Newt. Of course - he was trying to convince him to let Teresa go. After a lengthy conversation, Thomas went away again - presumably to the Slammer to talk with Teresa.

Newt beckoned to me. "In the Homestead. We're rounding everyone up." he said in a rock-steady voice.

I nodded, and went inside, feeling like everything had turned to jelly. I remembered those grievers, tearing at my flesh, my leg, dislocating - _stop, Celia, stop_ - the pain it was as I tried to right it, the fear that I'd never get to see Newt again - they were coming back, for us, for _me._

The shaking had started, but my mind was screaming at myself that I was weak, so weak, and that everyone would think I was _weak_, a _burden_. I curled up in the corner, scared out of my wits, as I tried to calm myself, whispering 'shh' to myself quietly, trying not to be seen in the darkness and fear of the night, which was pretty easy.

Of course, it wasn't working. I couldn't remember anything that could calm me down, except for liquorice, which I obviously didn't have. Any sort of exercises that could have soothed me. I tried to breathe, but it came in short, shaky breaths. The place was getting crowded, and then there was one last yell and the doors shut.

For some reason, I didn't pay attention, but I heard someone go out, but I couldn't concentrate right now. Then I heard it. Whirring. Clicking. My heart raced ten times faster, and the real panic attack began. The nausea, crashing over and over, the burning, unspeakable pain in my chest that made me thought I was having a heart attack, the shaking, sweating, the world zoned out. I needed someone, Newt, where was Newt? I tried to stand up, but I fell backwards again, and I had to have my hands over my ears, anyway, the world was being too overwhelming.

Oh no... pain, nausea, the world filtering to me in a blur of colours and mixed sounds, and I couldn't see the way out, couldn't slow my heart, as I panicked–

"Celia!" A voice, cutting through this world, then I felt arms hugging me, embracing me, and the smell of Newt hit me - I was saved. "Shhhh, it's okay, Celia, it's okay, don't worry," he whispered as I slowly came out of the world, eventually relaxing. Breathing in a shaky breath, I leaned against him.

"Newt... thank you." I breathed, resting my head on his shoulder.

He didn't say anything, just shielded me from the world. I softly touched my lips to his, and we stole our kiss for the night. This time, fear was injected into it, making it desperate, longer, his fingers twisting into my hair. This could be our last night together.

When we broke off, I twisted around to sit in our usual position, and we sat there, waiting for our fates, his arms wound around me.

"Cece, what's this?" whispered Newt. He was softly skimming his fingers along my arm. I looked down, and to my shock, I saw several deep scratches, several of them fresh.

"I don't know." I whispered back to him. "I think... it must happen in my panic attacks. I'm not sure."

He hugged me tighter when I said this. "Why didn't you come get me?"

_Weak._ My mind hissed, and I stayed silent, closing my eyes.

"Celia?"

But he wasn't going to get an answer from me. I simply buried my face into his shirt as we listened to the Grievers.

_Snap._

_Click click clickety click._

_Snap._

_Whirrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrr_

_Snap._

The noises sounded as loud as gunshots. Weird lights flickered here and there, and the atmosphere was as thick as cold custard. Everyone waiting.

_Bang._

The door slammed open. I gasped along with everyone else - we thought it would be from the window. Who was it?

When I saw who it was, I yelped and turned into Newt, squeezing him to me, my breathing cut off.

It was _Gally_.

**DUN DUN DUUUUN!**

**Yes, yes. I'm bringing Gally back. I'm such a weird fanfic writer lolz, who would do both a girl OC and Teresa, and portray Gally as a bad guy then bring him back?**

**Anywayss, please please _please_ review and fave and follow because as you can see it really motivates me :D these past two chapters wouldn't have been put up until this weekend but then I got like 4 reviews for one chapter soo... keep up those reviews!**

**Thanks for reading,**

**mondonxx**

**P.S WE ARE NEARLY UP TO 4K READS OMG WUT THANK YOU SO SO MUCH**


	18. Chapter 18

I shoved myself into Newt, my breathing hitching, trying not to let the bad memories come, but they came anyway, crashing like continuous waves in my head, slamming me again and again in torturous screams of silence. "Shh, Cece, shh," whispered Newt frantically as I squeezed myself as tight as I could together, shaking again. He grabbed my wrists – it was only then that I realised I had been tearing away at my skin, biting my lip and tongue until I tasted blood in my mouth.

"Their stupid variables."

Gally spoke with a hoarse voice, and sounded ragged and torn. I clenched even tighter together, if that was possible.

"Celia." He croaked.

I whimpered, huddling closer to Newt, who held me in his arms, shielding me.

"Celia, they made me. I swear it. I swear I didn't want to, and I'm… sorry. So sorry. You have no idea."

"What are you doing here, Gally!?" hissed Newt menacingly. "Leave. Now. Before I kick your sorry ass out there with them Grievers."

"You should be with the Grievers! All of you! You don't wanna remember. They'll take you. One every night. Until it's all over. Their stupid variables."

He sounded like a mental patient, his voice threatening to rise to a scream, panicked.

"Gally, you've been Banished. You don't belong here any more. Leave." Newt yelled. I could feel him itching to get up and over there himself, but felt like he should stay with me. I didn't like that, and nudged him towards Gally. "Sure?" he whispered, and I nodded.

I hated being weak.

"You!" Gally screamed, spit flying everywhere, pointing at Thomas. "It's all your fault!"

Before anyone could react Thomas was on the ground, clutching his head. "Lay off, Gally! There's a Griever right outside… get on your ass and maybe it'll go away."

"You don't GET IT! You never did! The Maze can't be solved. It was a stupid test. And now they're gonna kill us all, one by one! ONE, BY, ONE!"

He sprung to the window, tearing out the boards. "No!" yelped Newt, jumping forward – I sprinted forward, scared, but it was too late. Gally had pulled out his second board, and the momentum sent it crashing into Newt's head. In horror, I saw a spray of blood coat the sheets.

"_NEWT!_" I screamed, panicking and sprinting to him.

"What are you _doing,_ Gally!" Thomas yelled.

"You shut your shuck-face UP! I know who you are. But you know what? I don't _care_ anymore! I have to do what's right." Unexpectedly, he glanced at me, a haunted look that I know will imprint into my memory forever. "To make up for it." He whispered, and turned to face the Griever, pulsating, waiting. By now, everyone had run out to the hallway, except for Newt, unconscious at my knees, and Thomas, backed up against a wall. I turned and saw the Griever's arm, reaching for Newt.

"_NO! YOU MOTHERSHUCKER!_" I screamed, hitting it back, standing up to beat the crap out of this Griever that was _not_ going to take Newt… take me instead.

The thought nearly staggered me, but my anger carried me forward, only to stop in shock. Gally glanced back at me, then dived out the window. I saw him sink into the Griever's gooey, sludgey skin.

"You don't understand!" He screamed over the whirring of the Griever. "You don't… want… _to remember!_" Staring at Thomas, he was pulled out of the window, his face red and inhuman. Thomas ran up to the window, but I didn't care what was happening anymore. Barely registering that I was sobbing, I screamed for the med-jacks, trying to lay Newt in a better position. Being as gentle as I could with my shaking fingers, I tried to examine where he was hit. It was a hard hit, you could see, and blood was slowly oozing out. I stood up to get a cloth.

"Cece." whispered Newt. His eyes fluttered.

"You're awake," I replied, my voice shaking.

He groaned, his hands coming up to his head. "Sore..." he muttered.

"I know, I know," I sobbed, my heart wrenched from hearing that one small, vulnerable moment, as I dug around in the first aid pack someone put in here. I came up with a small, white cloth, and poured some water over it, squeezing out the extra. I refolded it and gently wiped the blood, seeping down his neck, before holding it to his head, my tears gently dripping on his clothes, as he tried to sit up.

"Bloody hell, huh?" I say, laughing despite myself, trying to cheer him up and take his mind off the pain – but it didn't work. He just grimaced slightly, squeezing his eyes shut. My heart ached; he was in pain, such pain, I shouldn't have told him to go to Gally, it was _my fault_–

"Minho ran out after them! In the Maze!" Thomas exclaimed.

"He'll have good reason." I say, narrowing my eyes at Thomas. "Shut up and let Newt get better."

"I'm going after him."

"So you're playing the bloody hero again?" Newt groaned, opening his eyes.

"Please. I just want to get outta here."

"Well you're a regular toughie. But we got worse problems." Newt tried to stand up.

"He's back! What the shuck did you think you were doing?"

I heard panting. "Had… to make… sure…" Minho breathed.

"Make sure of what?" Newt asked.

"That they went… in the Griever Hole."

"And?" Thomas pressed.

"Bingo."

"I can't believe it." whispered Newt. "What a night."

"What happened? What were you gonna say?"

Newt jerked a thumb over his shoulder. "Can still see the buggin' smoke."

The Map Room. Burning. "Somebody burnt the buggin' maps. Every last one of 'em."

I saw Newt and Minho exchange a look.

Then I became aware of a shape – Teresa. Newt grabbed my wrist and we moved away, letting them talk.

"You can stop crying, you know." He glanced at me.

"You're hurt." I whispered. Newt sighed.

"Celia, it happens, okay? But you don't have to worry about me. I'm fine. I'm strong." I smiled at that last part.

"I know you are. But it doesn't mean you don't have to deal with pain."

…

We found Alby knocked out by the maps. "Someone else did it." Newt said, examining Alby's head. "Someone came in here and knocked Alby out, then burned the maps. Med-jacks? Oi, Cece, go get the med-jacks will you?"

When I came back, I saw Thomas there too, talking about another of his ideas to Minho. "We have an idea. But you have to let her out, and get all the Runners. If everyone remembers their maps, maybe we still have a chance."

"An idea? What?"

"Just come over to the Slammer with me. You and Newt."

"This better be good. Newt!"

"Yeah?" Newt stood up. I saw that the rag was nearly completely soaked with his blood, and felt another tug in my heart.

Minho pointed at Alby. "Let the med-jacks take care of 'im. We gotta talk."

They walked off to the Slammer, Thomas leading.

...

"Hey? Have you seen Newt and Thomas?" I asked Clint, still tending to Alby. "Nah. Probably working out some stuff." he shrugged.

...

I've looked everywhere. The only possible place was in the tool shed, and I had no idea why they'd be there, but I popped my head in. "Look," Thomas said - there they were! "It spells _FLOAT_ and then it spells _CAT_."

"Float cat?" Newt asked disbelievingly. "Doesn't sound like a bloody rescue code to me."

My inexplicable sense of humor sent me to the ground, collapsing in laughter.

"What the klunk? Cece?" Newt asked.

"I was looking for you, then I come in to you saying "Float cat", oh my gosh–" I cracked up again - I think the stress was getting to me. Everyone stared at me like I was crazy.

"So… so what's going on?" I asked, composing myself.

"Tommy's figured out the code," Newt said after a pause. "Maybe you could help us while Minho and Thomas get out in the Maze again."

"Today!? But the Maze has been repeating itself for ages, probably nothing's changed." Thomas exclaimed.

"Today could be the day where the Maze changes. C'mon." Minho said.

"We can get some more Gladers to help with this. Go on, shanks, get runnin'."

"I'll help too." Teresa agreed.

"You sure?" Thomas asked.

I tried to hide my grin. Looks like another flower of love… blossoming… I winked at Newt, who was smiling too.

Teresa folded her arms. "If you're going to decipher a hidden code from a complex set of different mazes, I'm pretty sure you need a girl's brain running the show." she smirked.

"If you say so." Thomas folded his arms too, and suddenly looked more set on staying there.

"Good that." Minho said, turning to leave, then realised Thomas wasn't coming.

I chuckled, but tried to turn it into a cough, failing miserably. I stuffed my hands up on my nose and mouth, trying not to giggle, and faking a coughing fit instead. Minho gave me a look.

"Don't worry, Tommy. Your girlfriend will be fine." Newt said, smirking slightly. He nodded, and left.

"Right. I'll get the Keepers, you girls get started, maybe have some female time." Newt left too, laughing to himself.

I couldn't contain my grin as I sat down at the table, sorting out a wax paper pile and grabbing the first Map.

"What are you grinning about?" Teresa asked.

"Nothing." I say, thinking it might not be wise sharing my thoughts when she had only just arrived.

"So… you and Newt, huh?" She asked, smiling at me. I blushed a little.

"Yeah." I mumbled.

"He _is_ kinda gorgeous." Teresa agreed.

"And strong. And smart." I smiled to myself. Teresa laughed.

"Sounds like you worship him. So what went on in this place? What's the goss?"

"Hardly anything with those klunk-heads out there." I rolled my eyes. "You should see how all of them communicate - all grunts. I swear I live with cavemen. And you wouldn't believe what happened when we got new clothes."

"What?"

"Well, they'd all started changing out in the open. I didn't even realise, and so of course I'm scarred for life." I winced at the memory.

"Including Newt?" she asked slyly. I smacked her arm, flushing.

"I also heard something about you talking in your sleep."

"Oh. Yeah. Well… yeah, that gets pretty embarrassing." I remember telling Newt my dreams, and a shiver ran down my spine.

"You say Newt's name, don't you? Frypan told me." she laughed.

"Maybe." I sighed, as we worked in silence for a while, me thinking about Newt.

"Hey, wait! You're labeling it wrong. You're getting them mixed up!" Teresa grabbed my hand.

"Oh… yeah, sorry."

"Daydreaming?"

"Um… maybe."

"About Newt?" she asked, grinning at me.

"Don't blame me for being smitten with him!" I laughed. "Have you seen his eyes!?"

The door banged open. "This sounds like a wonderful conversation." Newt declared, sitting down beside me and laughing. I flushed red as a cherry, and lightly punched his arm.

We worked hard for a long time, until suddenly Teresa burst out laughing. We all stared at her. "Nothing. Just inside thoughts." She giggled.

"Bloody girls." Newt said. I grinned, a sense of déja vu was here.

"So now we have float, catch, bleed, and a d and e." Teresa said, as a milestone.

We worked for ages, until the same letters started to crop up. It started to spell out float again, then we did a couple more words - catch and bleed. The same.

"So it's been repeating like this. For all this time." Newt said, massaging his hand.

Float. Catch. Bleed. Death. Stiff. Push. Hopefully, those six words would get us out of this mess.

**Oh my gosh guys, 29 reviews and over 4k reads! Thanks so so so so so much!**

**Keep reviewing, because as you can see it motivates me to post chapters faster!**

**Nearing the end of the Maze… wonder what's gonna happen? Mwuahahahah I know the ending :D but we still have to get there.**

**Okie thanks so much for reading, and please review!**

**mondonxx**


	19. Chapter 19

**Newt's POV**

I couldn't help but hope that, with Tommy here, we'd find something different. Something that we'd never found before.

We tried to keep everything running as usual. At least one more day, to keep things calm.

The night came, and everyone boarded up the Homestead again. We sat, and waited, for the Grievers.

It was as scary as the last night. The whirring and clicking started, and Celia clutched onto me like a lifeline. "Shh, don't worry." I whispered to her, although I myself was nearly outta my mind with fear.

Then a crunch of splintering wood filled the air - and a millisecond later, a hair-raising shriek of pure terror.

I limped as fast as I could toward the sound to see Adam kicking and fighting a Griever, holding on to him. "No!" I yelled, trying to reach him, but the Griever was too fast. It carried him out the hole it made, the whirring going away. Suddenly, I saw all the Grievers converge on him, as he screamed one last time of defeat, and then the Grievers went out into the Maze.

"Only one," I muttered to myself. Gally was a shucked up in his head, but he may be right about this.

"Who was it?" Zart asked.

"Adam." I said sorrowfully. "But… they're gone now. Maybe we can get some sleep."

"Was Gally right?" muttered the Gladers, and everyone seemed to think so. We bunked right on down, all together in the Homestead.

Laying down together as usual, I closed my eyes and breathed in Cece's scent. "What are you doing?" she laughed weakly, but I felt completely serious.

"No matter what happens, I want to always be with you. But I might not. So I wanna remember as best as I can." I whispered.

"That's dark." she said, but didn't crack a smile. Her eyes reflected in the moonlight as we gazed into each other's eyes. "I want to remember you too. Whatever happens."

For a while, there was just silence - the kind that you didn't want to break, in the hope that it would last forever.

"Do you remember anything, Newt?" she whispered.

I shook my head. "Nothin'." I mutter.

She shook her head too. "Dunno why I got some back. But I wish I didn't."

I looked at her in sympathy. Her past wasn't... one to remember.

"I know this sounds weird... but in some ways, I'm glad I was put here... life before seemed like a one-way track. A masquerade, too. You just wore your mask and lived up to a perfect education, perfect life, perfect husband, perfect children. I couldn't see a point to it all. Sure, we were discovering the world around us. But somehow, that never seemed quite so interesting on our little planet in the entire universe. And none of us, never, ever showed beneath our masks. We always pretend in one way or another some aspect of our life, and it subtracts from our true selves. So really, we never saw each other clearly.

"But now... now we have to be honest. We're in a life or death situation. It's when our true faces come out, and has been out for the last two years here. Now, the future is unpredictable. We could be dead by tomorrow. Somehow, I think that's a better life than a meaningless masquerade."

There they were. Her true thoughts.

And the thing was, I actually had a level of understanding on them. I agreed with her on some of those points.

"Sorry. You probably didn't need to hear all that." she murmured, turning away, but I caught her shoulder.

"I understand." I whispered. Her eyes widened.

"I know. That we're on such a small planet, and that life was just society's expectations - good grades, and good husband and children. I understand, really. I just... yes, it's better than living that 'masquerade', but at the same time, this is scary. You don't know anymore. And it's hard to find hope here."

Her eyes softened. "You _do_ understand..."

She closed her eyes and nestled close. "I don't think I've ever felt understood before."

I didn't know how to respond, but I don't think I needed to. I held her until I fell asleep, wondering what the new day would bring.

...

Thomas and Minho were the first two back the next day. "You're the first back," I said, limping over. "What happened?" _Did you find anything? Anything to get us out of here?_ I couldn't help but hope that they'd found something, now that everything had shucked over. "Tell me you found something."

Minho was staring off into space. "Nothin'. This whole Maze is a freaking joke."

I looked at Thomas. "What's he talking about?" Thomas's face was also worn, tired. My heart sank a little.

"He's just discouraged. We didn't find anything different. The walls haven't moved, no exits, nothing. Did the Grievers come last night?"

I closed my eyes, the memory flashing through my head of Adam screaming, and me not getting there fast enough. "Yeah, they took Adam."

Minho suddenly spat in the ivy, his veins popping out of his neck; "I'm so sick of this! All of it! It's all shucking _over_!" Red-faced, he tossed his pack to the ground. "There's no exit, never will be. Dunno why we thought so in the first place. We're all shucked."

I was startled by his sudden display of discouragement. Minho wasn't exactly positive, but he never seemed to mind running all the time - he seemed to believe there's a solution, somehow. Not now.

Leaving Thomas standing there, I go to find Celia.

...

"I still can't figure it out." Celia said, looking worn and tired. Teresa was standing next to her, muttering to herself. They did seem to be completely random, except for maybe bleed and death being linked.

FLOAT. CATCH. BLEED. DEATH. STIFF. PUSH.

"Just have a rest," I say soothingly. "Maybe it'll come to you later."

"Maybe I won't get it at all. Maybe we aren't supposed to freaking get it!" she slammed the page down onto the table and collapsed into a nearby chair. "I'm done."

She closed her eyes and blocked her ears.

"Hello? Teresa?" That was Thomas. I went to let him in.

"Come and check this out," said Teresa.

"I'll worship you for the rest of my bloody life if you figure this out, Tommy." I grumbled.

He took a look at it while Teresa told him how they got it.

"Cheerful, don't ya think?" I said, looking over his shoulder.

"Yeah," Thomas groaned. "We need Minho here - maybe he would know something about it. We just need more clues–"

Suddenly, he stopped, and his eyes widened. In an instant he had turned pale as a ghost. "Tommy? You okay? You just went really pale."

"Oh… nothing, sorry. My eyes are hurting, I think I need some sleep." He rubbed his temples.

"Well, you spent a buggin' night in the Maze. Go take a nap." I say, clasping his shoulder.

Celia was muttering in her sleep again.

"Oh my gosh!" yelled Teresa so buggin' loud I jumped. She looked at me, her eyes sparkling. "She just said your name in her sleep!"

"Oh… yeah… she does that." I say, smiling a little.

"It's true! Awww… that's so cute."

I laugh a little, and pick her up (Teresa watching amusedly) to take her over to the Homestead.

…

It was night again. Everyone's got the willies now, and we're all waiting, anticipating.

The clicking and whirring starts up again.

The worst part is waiting. Waiting not knowing if you'll live the next hour, not knowing if we'll get through it, but knowing that someone will die tonight.

It seems to take ages. I hold Cece, eyes closed, in silence.

_BOOM, CRASH._ We heard the wood upstairs splinter, and you heard the shrieks from everyone and the loud thudding of feet running, thudding so loud you think it's your heart beating in your ears. "It's got Dave!" someone yelled, their voice high-pitched with terror.

No-one moved a muscle. Everyone was thanking their buggin' lucky stars that it wasn't them.

Then another deafening crash said that the Griever had gone out the front door.

As I was going to sigh with relief, I saw a dark figure leap up and sprint out. "Stop!" I yell, realising it was Tommy. He runs straight out, and I limp desperately after him.

What was he shucking doing? Committing suicide!? He jumped straight into the horde of Grievers, trying to rip Dave off them. _But he knows it's pointless!_ It didn't make sense. "NOO!" Teresa screamed, and then the Grievers attack, tearing at him and stinging him over and over. Thomas screamed, kicking and thrashing his way out.

We all watched, hoping, as he managed to get a meter or so away, before collapsing on the ground. The Grievers retreated into the Maze.

"Get his legs!" I shouted, gripping him by the shoulders and heaving him up. "What were you buggin' _thinking_?" I ask as Zart grabs his legs and we move him to the Homestead. "That was so bloody stupid!"

"No… Newt… you don't understand…" he mumbled, his eyes drooping closed.

"Shut up! Don't waste your energy!" I yelled, tearing off his shirt to reveal dozens of swelling purple lumps - he'd been stung. "Get the grief serum! Now!"

It was shoved into my hand, and I injected it into him, watching his face relax.

"Don't worry… I did it on purpose…" he barely whispered before he went still.

…

"How is he?" Celia asked. He was the usual patient; purple skin with red hives everywhere, scratches, and his veins popping out.

"You don't wanna see him," I said, munching my biscuits.

She rolled her eyes. "That wasn't what I asked."

"He's… alright. Should be coming around about tomorrow morning."

For a while, we just sat in silence. Then suddenly, she blurted, "Have I ever told you how cute your accent is?"

I stared at her in amazement. "Huh?"

"That…" she blushed, fidgeting nervously. "I have no idea why I said that."

I laughed, and pulled her close. "Thanks." She pulled away though, tense.

So I kissed her (hearing all the Gladers stop and whisper excitedly). "There," I whispered in her ear. "I'm more shuckin' embarrassed than you now."

She laughed. "Only you would do that for me." she whispered.

I don't know why I kissed her. Maybe now that times were getting desperate, I needed more comfort. Something other than just darkness. But we always were sharing hugs and caresses together. And that was all I needed, for now.

...

After a rough couple of nights - we'd lost Zart… I couldn't believe it - Thomas woke up.

"He's awake! He wants a Gathering!" Chuck yelled.

I limp over with Celia to see him - and was surprised. He barely looked sick anymore. The hives and purple bruising was gone, only scratches and a pale hue left. "Tommy, you barely look sick." I say, sitting down next to him. He nodded.

"I feel a little queasy, but other than that I'm fine. Thought it'd be a lot worse."

I shook my head. "What you did was half stupid, half brave. Guess you're good at that stuff, huh?" I paused, thinking. "I know why you did it. What memories? Did you find out anything that would help us get outta this place?"

"We needa have a Gathering." he said - as I had hoped. "Before I start forgetting this stuff."

"Chuck told me, but why? What'd you figure out?"

"It's a test, Newt - the whole thing is a test."

I nod. "Like an experiment."

"No, you don't get it. They're weeding us out, seeing if we'll give up, finding the best of us. Throwing variables–" here, for some reason, I saw Cece cringe - "trying to make us quit. Testing our ability to hope and fight. They only want the best. And now, with Teresa here and everything shutting down, that's the last part. Now it's time for the final test. To escape."

"You know a way out!?" I asked him.

"Yeah. Call the Gathering. Now."

I limped off to call the Keepers.

...

Alby was leading the meeting, which I was glad for. I didn't much like leading.

"All right, Greenie. Spill."

"It's a long story." he said, after a small pause. "We don't have much time to go through it all, but I'll tell you the gist. When I went through the Changing, I saw flashes of images - hundreds of them - like a slide show in fast forward. A lot came back to me, but only some of it's clear enough to talk about. Other stuff has faded or is fading. But I remember enough. The Creators are testing us. The Maze was never meant to be solved. It's all been a trial. They want the winners - or survivors - to do something important."

"What!?" I asked. He rubbed his temples.

"Lemme start again. We'd all been taken. I don't remember why, but it feels like something really bad has happened to the world."

_The Flare_, I suddenly thought. Celia had been dreaming about it.

"The Creators stole us, and I think they felt justified in doing it. Somehow they figured out that we have above-average intelligence, and that's why they chose us. I don't know, most of this is sketchy and doesn't matter that much anyway. I can't remember anything about my family or what happened to them. But after we were taken, we were sent to special schools until they had enough money to build the Maze. All our names are just stupid nicknames they made up - like Alby for Albert Einstein, Newt for Isaac Newton," I felt a shock through my body. Newt wasn't my real name? - "and me, Thomas. As in Edison."

"Our names… these aren't even our real names?" Alby asked disbelievingly. He shook his head.

"As far as I can tell, we'll probably never know what our names were."

"What are you saying?" Frypan asked, a hint of fear in his voice. "That we were orphans and raised by freakin' scientists?"

"Yes." Thomas said stoutly. "Supposedly we're real smart or something, and so they're analysing us."

"I believe this klunk about as much as I believe Frypan's food is good for you." Winston grumbled.

"Why would I make this up? Better yet, what do _you_ think is the explanation? That we live on an alien planet?"

"Slim it." Alby said. "I just don't get why none of us remember this stuff. We'd had enough people through the shuckin' Changing. None of us remembered any of this klunk."

Thomas sucked in a big breath. "Okay, well… somehow they wiped our memories. Not just our childhood, but everything leading up to this. They put is in the Box and sent us up here - a big group to start and then one a month over the last two years."

"But… why?" I asked. "What's the shuckin' point?"

"I'm getting there! Like I said they wanted to test us, see how we'd react to what they call the Variables, and to a problem that has no solution. See if we could work together. Everything was provided for us, and the problem was loud out as one of the most common puzzles known to civilization - a maze. All this added up to making us think there had to be a solution, just encouraging us to work all the harder while at the same time magnifying our discouragement at not finding one."

He paused, looking around. "What I'm saying is, the Maze can't be solved. There is no solution."

Everyone broke out into disbelieving chatter. "See!?" Thomas yelled over everyone. "Your reaction proves my point! Most people woulda given up by now, but we're different. That's why they chose us. Because we've kept fighting no matter how hopeless it got. Everything - the Grievers, the Maze, the walls, the Cliff - all elements of a stupid _test._" You could hear the anger in his voice now. "We're being used and manipulated. The Creators wanted to keep our minds working towards a solution that was never there. Throwing crazy things at us to see our responses. They want the survivors for something important.

"And killin' people? That's part of their mastermind plan?" Frypan asked, standing up.

"Yeah. Killing people. The only reason the Grievers are doing it one by one is so we don't all die before it ends the way it's supposed to. Survival of the fittest. Only the best of us will escape."

Frypan kicked his chair over. "Then start talking about this shuckin' magical escape!"

I felt annoyed that Frypan was getting so mad and taking it out on Tommy. Tommy had gone through the Changing, and now he was getting the anger from everyone for it. "Shut up. He will." I said, quietly.

"Something tells me I'm not gonna like what I'm about to hear." Minho said.

"Probably not," replied Thomas. "The Creators want the best of us for whatever it is they have planned. But we have to earn it."

The room fell completely silent. He paused.

"The code."

"The code?" Frypan asked hopefully. "What about it?"

Thomas looked at him. "It was hidden in the wall movements of the Maze for a reason. I should know - I was there when the Creators did it."

**So most of this chapter was sorta for the storyline, eh, filler. XD we have to have them somewhere.**

**I used mostly James Dashner's words, so yeah credit to him for such an amazing story :D wew. Sorry that I didn't change it much, but I felt this was such an important part that I had to follow it exactly to get everything across.**

**Please review, fave, etc! I know this chapter isn't as creative, so I don't mind if I don't get reviews really, but it's still be nice :)**

**Thanks for reading**

**~mondonxx**

**PS Who likes the new cover? Sakura Ann Kinimo-san designed it, and I just did a few touch-ups with the details and colour. :D Thanks Sakura!**


	20. Chapter 20

There was a long silence as everyone tried to process it. Tommy's here with us now. How could he have helped the Creators?

"What are you talking about?" I asked, breaking the silence.

But it didn't matter, did it? Because whatever happened before isn't the Tommy we know now, and he can't remember it.

"Teresa and I, we're... different. We helped create this - this Maze, the whole thing. But against our will, I swear it."

"What are you talking about?" Minho asked.

"If you got your memories back now, you'd probably wanna kill us. We helped design the whole thing, brainstormed the variables. I had to tell you now, so that you would trust me."

"But you're... you're bloody sixteen year olds! How could you have helped make something as shucked as this?" I exclaimed.

"We were... smart. But there's something else about us - something special that made us valuable as we designed this place." Here he paused, but I couldn't take it any longer.

"Bloody spit it out, then!"

"We're telepathic! We can talk to each other in our freaking heads!" Tommy yelled. I blinked. _Telepathic_!?

"But listen, they forced us to help, I don't know why. It's true, and I'm sorry. But lemme tell you; I'm in the same boat as you now, and so is Teresa."

I believed him.

"It was those Creators. Not Tommy and Teresa. And they'll pay." I say menacingly.

"Who gives a klunk about it anyway? Get on with the escape." Minho said. Thomas looked amazed that we'd trusted him so easily, but he didn't see; we knew he was as scared as us right now, and we had always known it was the Creators, not 16 year old shanks.

"There's a computer station in a place we'd never looked before. It's–"

"Excuse me!? In a place we've never looked in!? What you think we been doing for the last 2 years?" Alby interjected.

"Trust me. The code - we enter the code, and that's our way out. And it's nowhere we've been, trust me."

"Well, where is it then?" Minho asked, standing up - as always, ready for action.

"The Grievers will come after us. It's almost suicide - all of them will be after us. The final test."

"Where is it?" I asked, my curiosity getting the better of me.

"The Griever Hole. Over the Cliff."

Alby stood up, his chair falling over. "That's a load of klunk. How can we trust you, if you helped create this whole freakin' place? We can't possibly fight all those Grievers through to the Griever hole. What're you up to!?"

I looked at him in surprise. Tommy was furious. "What - what am I up to? Nothing! Why would I make this up!?"

Alby squared his shoulders, and his jaw tightened. "How would we know? Maybe you were sent here to get us all killed."

_He's talkin' a load'a klunk here._ I thought. "Do you have a short term memory problem!?" yelled Tommy. "Me and Celia risked our lives to save you in the Maze! Why would I help you if my intention was to kill you!?"

"Probably an act to make us gain your trust. Either way, I don't trust this shuck-face."

"That's the stupidest theory I've ever heard." Minho said, flat out. "He nearly got torn apart 3 nights ago. Why would he do that!? As part of the act?"

"Maybe." Alby said. _Load'a klunk._

"I did it on the off chance that I'd get my memories back. And here I am. I'm telling you everything I know, to help us get out of here. Do I have to show you the cuts and bruises on my body?"

There was a pause as Alby hovered on the edge of speech. "We can't go back!" he screamed. "I've seen our lives! We can't go back there!"

"Is this really what this is about!?" I yelled. He strode over, his fist pulling back for a punch, before suddenly sinking back onto his chair, his face in his arms. He was crying.

Something was wrong.

"Alby, tell us. What happened?" I pressed.

"I did it. I did it." Alby managed.

"Did what, Alby?"

Alby looked up. "I burned the maps. I did it. I slammed my head on the table so you'd think it was someone else - I lied, burned it all. I did it!"

It was _Alby?_ Minho and I exchanged startled looks. But it didn't matter now. The Maps were safe thanks to his warning.

"Well, it's a good thing we saved those Maps. Thanks for the tip you gave us after the Changing - to protect them." Minho said, straight-faced and mocking.

"Alby, can you explain a bit more? Why would you do that?"

"I'm telling you." Alby begged, sounding like a buggin' lunatic, "We can't go back to where we came from. I've seen it, remembered awful things. Burned land, a disease - the Flare. It was horrible - way worse than we have it here."

"But if we stay here, we all _die!_" Minho yelled. "What the klunk could be worse than that?"

The Flare. There it is again.

"Yes." Alby said quietly. "The outside world is worse than death. Better to die than go home."

Minho just sniggered, leaning back into his chair. "You are one butt-load of sunshine. I'm with Thomas, one hundred percent, and I don't give a klunk 'bout what you think. If we're gonna die, let's do it fighting."

Alby sighed. "Doesn't matter. We'll die anyway." He left the room.

I exhaled. "Never been the same after he got stung. Musta been a bugger of a memory."

"I don't give a klunk about this Flare. Anything's better than just dying."

Frypan snorted. "You shanks're driving me nuts. Can't get out of the Maze and this idea of hanging with the Grievers at their bachelor pad sounds as stupid as anything I've ever heard in my life. Might as well slit our wrists."

Everyone burst into argument. Well done, Frypan, I thought.

"SHUT YOUR HOLES!" I yelled. "ALL OF YOU! BUGGIN' DRIVING NAILS THROUGH MY SKULL!"

"I'm going through the hole, or I'll die trying. And looks like Minho and Teresa will too. If we get through, pass their test, then we can go up against the Creators face-to-face."

"And you think we can just waltz on through the Grievers?" I asked. "Even if we don't die, we'll get stung. Beetle blades are out there constantly - there'll be all those Grievers, waiting, knowing when we make our run for it."

"I don't think they'll sting us." Thomas said with a curiously blank face. "The Changing was a Variable meant for us while we lived here. But that part will be over. Plus, we might have one thing going for us."

I rolled my eyes. "Can't wait to hear it."

"It doesn't do the Creators any good if we all die - this thing is meant to be hard, not impossible. I think we finally know for sure that the Grievers are programmed to only kill one of us each day. So somebody can sacrifice himself to save the others while we run to the Hole. I think that might be how it's supposed to happen."

Winston laughed loudly. "Excuse me?" he asked. "So you're suggestion is that we throw some poor kid to the wolves so that the rest of us can escape? _This _is your _brilliant suggestion?_"

"Yes, Winston." Thomas said, "I'm glad you're so good at paying attention. And it seems obvious who the poor kid should be."

"Oh yeah? Who?" Winston folded his arms.

Thomas looked at him in the eyes. "Me."

...

I stood up and dragged Thomas out the door. "You're leaving. Now."

Thomas was confused. "Why?"

"Think ya said enough for one meeting. We needa calm things, sort things out, without you dropping your beautiful ideas everywhere. Wait for me by the Box - afterwards, we'll talk."

I turned around, but felt his hand on my shoulder. "You have to believe me." Thomas said.

I twisted around and went up in his face. "Yeah, I especially loved the bit where you volunteered to get yourself killed." I hissed.

"I'm perfectly willing to do it." Thomas said, and I couldn't find any doubts in his eyes.

"Oh yeah? Mr. Noble again, huh?" I smirked.

"I have plenty of my own reasons. In some ways it's my fault we're here in the first place."

I rolled my eyes. "You're a kid. It wasn't all you. So shut up about it."

"I feel like I need to redeem myself." He said, serious.

I paused. "You know what's funny? I can't find an ounce of lying in your eyes. So I'm going in there to try and convince them. But no buggin' hero klunk. If we do this - and that's a big if for the Keepers - if we do this, we do it together."

"Good that." Thomas said. I smiled.

"If we're doing it, we're doing it tonight. Can't have anyone else killed."

I strode back into the meeting.

...

The meeting took ages. There were quite a few who wanted to 'take their chances' and stay. But with a little bit of convincing - surprisingly little - I managed to get them all on Tommy's idea.

"Now we just have to convince the Gladers." I said to Tommy, once we'd disbanded.

"You think they'll go for it?" Teresa asked, joining us.

"Not all of them. Some'll wanna stay - take their chances."

"What about Alby?" Thomas asked.

"I dunno. I'm sure I can convince him to stay, even though he does seem more scared of going home than dying."

"How will you convince him?" Thomas asked. I laughed.

"Make up some klunk, I guess. Tell him we'll all buggin' live happily ever after living with rainbows and unicorns farting glitter."

"Maybe we can. Minus the unicorns bit." Thomas shrugged.

"So what's next?" Teresa asked.

"Needa get everyone working. Figure out who's going, who's staying, get supplies for everyone going, and weapons. I'd put you as leader, Tommy, since it was your idea, but none would be happy with a Greenie as our leader. Just handle the code business with Teresa."

Thomas nodded, seeming relieved.

"Let's get to work then."

The next hours passed in a blur, working hard. Most Gladers actually agreed, more than I expected, though there were still a few that refused. For some reason, even Alby wanted to make the run. Poor Chuck was going, but you could see the poor sap sweating and his eyes were wide - he was scared, even though Teresa tried to sugar-coat it for him.

Some of the runners went to get some ivy into the hole - guide the way, and test it once more. Everyone had packs full of water, food, and some weapons.

"Celia." I said, grabbing her arm. She turned around, her hair in a pony-tail, looking worn. "You're going with Tommy and Teresa to get the code in, alright? Then you'll be safe."

For some reason, this made her sad. "Newt, I'm fine with fighting the Grievers. You know I've done it before."

"And you don't needa do so again." I said fiercely. She looked at me in the eyes.

"I'm done with being protected. I think I've figured out why I'm different here, and you can be buggin' sure I'm not going in with Thomas and Teresa. That's that." she turned back to packing a pack full of all the supplies.

"_No_, Celia. You are going with Tommy and Teresa. You're not risking your life, you're a girl, we can't just not try and protect you."

She sighed. "Girl stereotypes suck. What if girls never needed protecting? What if you could punch a girl without someone saying 'you can't punch a girl.'? Cuz that's how I wish it was."

"But it's not. So you're going with Tommy and Teresa, that's it."

She looked at me for a moment. "Sure." She said, not looking at me. Probably cuz she felt guilty for agreeing.

"Good that."

...

I finally gathered everyone up. "There are forty-one of us," I said when everyone was quiet. Pulling out my makeshift weapon, I said "Make sure you got your weapons. Other than that, there isn't a whole lot to buggin' say. You've all been told the plan. We're gonna fight our way through to the Griever Hole, and Tommy here'll punch in the magic code and then we'll get payback on the Creators. Simple as that."

"Shouldn't some shank give a pep talk or something?" Minho asked - typical Minho.

"Go ahead." I replied, folding my arms.

He nodded, and faced the crowd. "Be careful. Don't die." I rolled my eyes.

"Great. We're all bloody inspired." _I guess I'd better give it, then._

"You all know the plan. After two years of being treated like buggin' mice, we're going out there and making a stand. Tonight we're taking the fight to the Creators, no matter what we have to go through to get there. Tonight, the Grievers better be scared."

Someone cheered, then someone else, until everyone was yelling out battle cries. I smiled a little to myself, proud.

"Hear that, Creators? We're coming!" I yelled, brandishing my weapon to the sky, and running through the Maze.

It was my first time back in here, and I hated it already, but I couldn't let the Gladers down.

I fell back to let Minho lead. "You lead the way now." Even though I remembered the way, I wasn't gonna lead. Anyway, I wanted to find Celia, make sure she was going with Teresa and Tommy.

It was a long time. My limp started to worsen the longer we ran, but I tried to ignore it. All the non-runners were getting puffed quickly. Even Celia did after a while.

Then we reached the T intersection. The Cliff was just around the corner.

Minho slowly moved to the corner. "Do you hear that?" he whispered to Tommy, looking scared out of his mind. He peeked around the corner slowly, then jerked his head back. "Oh, no." he moaned. "Oh no."

Then the sounds came through. "Celia," I whispered, grabbing her shoulder. She was panting, but looked scared. "Just stick with Tommy and Teresa, alright? You'll be okay."

"But will you?" she asked, breathless.

"I will if you will." I whispered, not knowing what else to say.

"They're just waiting for us." Minho said. I shivered.

"Well, we knew we'd have to fight." I said, trying to say the right thing - but everyone could hear how frightened I was in my voice. Boy, I would about klunk my pants if we went in there.

"Maybe they'd taken a kid in the Glade. Maybe we can get past them - why else would–" A loud noise interrupted him - from behind us. Everyone turned around to see Grievers, their arms flailing and groping, spikes bared, then I saw more around the other side - we were surrounded. They simply sat there, whirring, waiting for something. I was trembling, pressed between Tommy and Jeff as everyone had squished together. I hoped Celia was in the centre somewhere.

"Got any ideas?" Tommy asked.

"No," I tried to keep my voice from shaking. "Dunno what they're bloody waitin' for."

"We shouldn't have come." Alby said.

There was a long pause, before he said "Maybe I should…"

_What?_ He started walking forward, toward the Cliff. "Alby?" I asked, scared. "Get back here, what are you doing?"

Then he started running straight into the Grievers. "ALBY!" I shrieked, trying to run after him - but Tommy and Jeff were holding me back. "Let me go!" I hissed, doing my best to escape.

"Are you nuts?" Tommy asked. "There's nothing you can do!"

No… not Alby… he was so strong, always there, leading us…

"I can't believe it." I whispered when I got out of my daze. "He just went and did that. I can't believe it." I was numb. I felt a comforting arm around my shoulder - Cece.

"We can't waste what he did." Minho said. "We'll fight them off. Tommy, Teresa, Celia, you go do your thing." Celia looked at him. I looked at him.

"Hopefully they'll go dormant for a while. We'll only need a minute or two." Thomas agreed.

"How can you guys be so heartless?" I spat, disgusted. Alby had just died, and we were just discussing the plan like nothing had happened.

"What do you want, Newt?" Minho asked, a little bit of sympathy laced in his voice. "Should we all dress up and have a funeral?"

_No, but something. Some grief._

I felt Celia pressed up against me, trying to soothe me, rubbing my back.

"Alby didn't wanna go back to his old life. He sacrificed himself! We'd be heartless if we wasted it." Minho said.

I just shrugged and turned away, closing my eyes. It seemed to all be just a bad dream at the moment. While Minho turned and addressed all the Gladers, Celia whispered to me. "Newt, I'm sorry, I really am. I know you and him were close. I'm sorry. I'm sure it hurts Minho just as much, he just takes it differently. We just needa get through this, and then–" Clicking and whirring cut her off. We both turned to look at the the Grievers - charging towards us.

**Sooo another filler chapter eh sorry XP I'll try and write one more chapter this afternoon that's maybe a bit more creative.**

**Nearly nearly nearly at the end of the Maze - but don't worry cuz there will be more :3 lots more.**

**Please fave, review, etc :D always keeps me going!**

**Thanks for reading**

**mondonxx**


	21. Chapter 21

**Celia's POV**

They tore towards us, while we all froze on the spot.

"They're _coming!_" Teresa screamed. "WE HAVE TO MOVE!"

"You lead." Newt said to Minho. "Make a bloody path for Tommy and the girls. Do it."

Minho nodded, then his face turned to one of pure determination. "Straight for the cliff! Push them shuck Grievers to the side, anything. The most important thing is to make a path for Thomas and the girls straight towards the Griever Hole!"

I gripped onto Newt's arm. "Ready!" Minho yelled.

I made up my mind. I wasn't going to go with Thomas and Teresa. I knew I would attract the Griever's attention. I knew they'd want to kill me most out of all of them. I'd tampered the results.

"NOW!" Minho screamed, and I ran forward along with Newt to meet the Grievers.

"What are you doing, Cece!" shouted Newt, trying to pull me back, but I shook him off and concentrated on a Griever.

_Find its weak point. It has to have one._

I slid underneath it to try and stab it there, but the blade clanged off something deep in its flesh - so not the body.

Throwing all my weight behind a kick to move it to the side, I focused on its head next. One of the arms started to tear away at my flesh, but I twisted my arm around it then jerked upward and backwards, trying to damage it, but it was too strong - it merely retracted the arm. I tried to slash its face, but the arms were too close, and were trying to grab me. I had to move it back more!

I grabbed one of its legs and ran. It was so heavy, I couldn't do much, but I managed to swing it around, adrenaline driving me, and tore off towards the wall, hoping it would follow. And it did.

Its arm pinned me against the wall, but I managed to swing a foot onto the arm, and twisted out of the hold. I ran over the top of its head and body, squelching in the sludgy stuff on it, dodging its flailing arms and its spikes all over its body. One of the arms caught my calf, but I ignored the pain.

_Whenever you're in a fight, my dad said. "You always go for the throat, eyes, or joints. Those are always the weak points."_

I closed my eyes for a second, but that was all it needed. It grabbed me roughly around the stomach. I twisted, but it wouldn't let me go, so I drove my blade as hard as I could where the arm met its body. It screamed, and a little bit of yellowy pus-like liquid dribbled out.

Then I felt another arm close in on me. But this time, it was from a different Griever. I stabbed as hard as I could into that one's joint as well, and it had the same fate as the previous one. I dropped off and stabbed all of the joints I could find until it was laying on the ground, unable to move any arms.

I turned to see another three Grievers, diving for me. I quickly dodged to the side. Two Grievers banged into the wall, but the third one closest to me managed to get a good swing at my waist - I felt it slice through easily. Gasping, the pain incapacitated me. It was deep.

"_CELIA!_" I heard Newt scream. He charged towards the Griever that had hurt me.

"Newt, wait," I gasped, and had another swing at the joint. It wasn't nearly as strong as I had before, but the Griever clicked more and its whirring tempo increased.

"Its weak spot is where the arm connects to the body." I managed, seeing the two Grievers from before lurch towards me.

"Why're they all going for you!?" Newt yelled, burying his spear in the joint as I had said.

I didn't answer, only tried to stem the blood seeping into my shirt. I took off my hoodie - Newt's old hoodie - and tied it around my waist to try and soak up the blood.

Knowing I could save many lives tonight, I yelled "OI! YOU SHUCK FACED GRIEVERS! I'M THE ONE YOU WANT! I'M THE VARIABLE THAT MESSED IT ALL UP!"

A few nearby Grievers turned and started to run towards me. It was working. I sprinted just between them, barely making it, trying to attract as many Grievers' attentions as I could. I stabbed one in the joint that was trying to kill Frypan, running past him as he gaped at me. A horde of Grievers was now on my track. "WHY ARE THEY ALL GOING FOR YOU!?" screamed Minho, but I had no breath or time to explain.

"I'M THE VARIABLE!" I screamed at the Grievers. "COME AND GET ME IF YOU SHUCKING DARE!"

And they did. They tore towards me, and of course I wasn't fast enough - but if I just ran down the passage here a little bit, it'd get them away from everyone else, give them a chance. I hadn't gotten all the Grievers by far, but it was enough.

I felt the first sting of pain on my shoulder, before being swept up in the middle of the Grievers. They tore at me easily, while I stabbed as many joints as I could see, hisses in the whirring letting me know that I was damaging them. I screamed, kicking away from them, and took off running again, away from the Cliff. I was slower this time, and now I knew that it was over. I felt the searing pain through my ankle, and fell to the ground, still trying to stab them in their joints. Their heads screamed in my ears, and I was screaming too, panic coursing through my body, knowing that this was the end.

_Newt,_ I thought desperately, my last thoughts. I love him. He was my world.

I closed my eyes and accepted oblivion.

Then it just... stopped. The pain stopped. It had been crashing over me, all blurring together in one big blanket, but it stopped.

But it was enough. I succumbed to blackness.

...

**Newt's POV**

"_CECE! NO! CECE!_" I screamed, senseless, staring at her body.

"Newt, she's still alive! Calm down!" yelled Jeff. He'd opened his pack and was treating her wounds with the first aid kits we'd packed - thank shuck for that. "It's only cuts. I needa check if anything vital was damaged, but unless she'd been slammed against the ground or something major she should be okay."

He hesitated. "I need her top off. I can't treat her with it on."

I nod. I trust Jeff. "Here," I say, gently pulling her elbows through the armholes. We peeled off her top to blood everywhere. "Can you clean it for me, Newt? I need to patch them up as soon as I see the source, but it'll flood again if I'm not quick."

With shaking hands, I wiped away the blood as Jeff went after me, putting wads of cotton balls dipped in alcohol onto the cuts and taping them on. It took a long time - her body was covered with them.

"Hey. We're through. They wanna get started." Minho said behind me.

"I don't care. I'm staying with Cece." I growl.

"Okay dude, we'll wait." he walked away.

...

Cece's eyes fluttered as we were doing her right leg. A long gash down her calf was taking up our time. "Newt." she whispered.

"I'm here, shh. We're just treating you."

"Thought I was a goner." she mumbled, closing her eyes again.

"No. I won't let it happen." I say, kissing her forehead. "What the shuck were you thinking, anyway? I told you to go with Tommy and Teresa. Now look what's happened."

"Y'don't understand. I think I'm okay now." Slowly, she sat up, and groaned.

"One more," Jeff said. I cleared the blood away from it, before wiping up the excess rest of her body. Already, some of the cotton buds were soaked, but holding.

"Hey... where's my top? I don't exactly wanna walk in there with only my bra on." she said, attempting to laugh, but wincing instead.

"It's soaked..." I said, handing it over. She shrugged, and put it back on.

"It's not a bad colour." she grinned weakly at me.

"Jokes on your buggin' deathbed." I mutter.

"Hey, I'm not dead!" she said. "Thanks Jeff. I think I'm good now."

Then she tried to stand up. "Ugh," she moaned, staggering into me. "Head rush." She stood there, swaying for a second, before nodding and taking her first step.

It was a bloodbath. Bodies everywhere. Cece couldn't seem to look, and just before we reached the Cliff, she started throwing up. Groaning, she stood up, wiped her mouth, then took a running leap at the Griever Hole, surprising us. "Cece!" I cry, but she goes through - just.

"You first, Jeff." I say, nodding toward the hole. He nodded, and leapt too, landing neatly through the middle of it. I jumped through, and feel an ice-cold sheet of something moving over my body - then I dropped onto solid ground. Thomas was looking shocked.

"You know what?" Minho said, standing up. "Half might've died, but half of us shucking lived. And nobody got stung - just like Thomas thought. We've gotta get out of here."

But it was too many, and we all knew it. I grieved for those people. But right now, we had to get moving. "Let's get out of here." I say. "Right now."

"Where do we go?" asked Minho.

Thomas pointed the way. "Let's... go." Minho said, taking the lead.

"I'll go last," Thomas said. No-one argued.

I went in after Minho, holding Cece's forearm, going through the dark tunnel.

**And I must do my homework :3 sorry this is a shorter chapter but I _did_ update this morning, sooo...**

**Fave, review, please please please! Keeps me updating faster :D**

**Thanks for reading,**

**mondonxx**


	22. Chapter 22

Minho stopped. "There's something here... a hole? I'll try crawl through it."

He stepped through, then seemed to slip over. "Argh!" he cried, his voice going away.

"Minho!?" I yelled.

"It's a chute!" he yelled back, his voice far away and echoing strangely.

"C'mon," I say to Celia. She sits at the mouth of the hole, and I sit behind her. I push us off.

She gives a little gasp as we slide through a load of slimy grease. It smelled of burnt plastic and machinery, and I wrinkled my nose. Cece gripped my arms around her, curling up a little, then the smell changes to that of mildew and rot. We both start to gag a little.

The chute started to twist, slowing us down, and Cece gave a shriek as we were spat out on top of Minho. "Urgh," moaned Cece, still retching.

"The other Gladers will be here soon, we need to–"

I was cut off from a knock in the head from another Glader that came out. I managed to pull Cece and me out of the growing mob, and she fell to her knees, recovering from the horrid experience.

We were in a huge chamber, underground. It was enough to hold 10 buggin' Homesteads, and it was full of strange machinery klunk. Computers, too.

I spun around, and on one side of the room, there was a row of forty or so white pods that looked like huge coffins.

"Look!" someone yelled. I turned again to see where everyone was looking - then gasped. In front of us, a row of maybe twenty dark-tinted windows stretched out, and behind each one - pale, thin, were people. Humans. Adults. Staring at us with squinted eyes. They didn't look happy - and looked like they'd been like that for years.

These were the Creators.

Cece gripped my arm. "These are the shuck Creators." Minho said, then suddenly yelled "I'M GONNA BREAK YOUR SHUCK FACES IN!", making me and Cece jump. They seemed to act normally - one scratched their nose, one nodded, another one shook his head.

"What're they waiting for? What do we do?" Tommy asked. Suddenly, a terrible fear consumed me.

"They're probably revving up the Grievers. Coming for us, right n–" A loud beeping noise shut me off.

"What now?" asked Chuck. Everyone sorta looked to Tommy, but it was clear he had no clue.

Then some doors opened, and two people walked in. A woman, an adult, walked in wearing casual clothes - her white top had WICKED printed on it. She had a neutral expression, as if she didn't give a shuck what we thought of her, and stiff posture. The other was a boy, maybe more our age, for some reason felt familiar. He had a hood over his head, so we couldn't see who it was, but I swear I knew that walk.

Cece gripped my hand a lot harder. "What–?" I asked her, and she started to shake. "Cece, what's wrong?" but she wouldn't answer. She stared straight ahead, refusing to look at me, crushing my hand.

"Welcome back." the woman said. _To what?_ I asked in my head. "Over two years, and so few dead. Amazing."

_Few!? Dead!?_ "Excuse me!?" I asked disbelievingly. Who did she think she was!?

"Almost everything has gone according to plan, Mr Newton." I jumped at the name she used. "Although we expected a few more of you to give up along the way."

"Give up!? Some of them shucking died! It was by pure chance!" yelled Cece. Her voice shook, but she was still very angry. "What about those ones snatched by the Grievers, huh? Zart? Adam?"

"Everything has gone according to plan, apart from _you_, Miss Cecilia. And I'm sure from your antics you know already, clever girl. I didn't realise you were quite so intelligent."

I stared at Cece, but she refused to look at me.

The woman lifted her arm, and took away the hood with slow movements. It revealed... _Gally._ I felt anger course through my body, felt Cece's grip tighten even more, cutting off circulation.

But it didn't make sense. From what I gathered, he'd said he didn't mean it. Then sacrificed himself to the Grievers. I was confused, but Minho spoke for me. "What are _you_ doing here?" Minho yelled.

"You're safe now. Please, be at ease." the woman said calmly. Did that mean all this was over? Did that mean we could go home?

"At ease!? Who are you, telling us to be at ease! We wanna see the police, the mayor, the president - somebody!" Minho shouted.

Her eyes narrowed. "You have no idea what you're talking about, boy. I'd expect more maturity from someone who's passed the Maze Trials." she said in a tone like a mother's. _Bloody hell,_ I thought. _Maybe Gally will have some answers._

"No, I–" I elbowed Minho in the guts before he could finish.

"Gally, what's going on?" I asked. He looked even more shucked up, if that was possible, and didn't respond.

The woman nodded. "One day you'll all be grateful for what we've done for you. I can only promise this, and trust your minds to accept it. If you don't, then the whole thing was a mistake. Dark times, Mr Newton. Dark times." I shuddered when she said my name. She paused. "There is, of course, one final Variable." she said, stepping back.

I looked at Gally. He was trembling, and looked completely vulnerable - his face pale as a buggin' ghosts, his eyes red and bloodshot, and he was close to tears. It almost looked like he wanted to say something, but couldn't.

"Gally?" Tommy asked, trying to suppress any hatred in his voice.

"They... can control me... I don't–" his hand flew to his throat. "I... have... to..." he choked, his eyes wide and terrified. Then suddenly, it was like a switch flipped. He stood relaxed, still, his face calming down. Then from behind him, he pulled out a... long, jagged dagger that gleamed in the light, gripped in his fingers. Suddenly, he reared back and threw the knife straight at Tommy's face. I heard Chuck scream, and then Cece screamed;

"CHUCK!"

Then Chuck was on the ground, screaming, the dagger buried to the hilt. Cece gave a strangled cry, leaping forward with Tommy. I could only stand there, horrified, trying to comprehend what happened, why there was blood staining through to his shirt. His body jerked, his legs kicking uselessly, trying to fight death. "_CHUCK_!" Tommy screamed, the most raw and sad sound I'd ever bloody heard. "_CHUCK_!"

Blood trickled out of his nose and mouth, and his eyes rolled back into his head. "Tho...mas..." he choked, and then his eyes rolled back to normal. _We can't save him,_ I realised.

"Hang on, Chuck!" Tommy's voice cracked. "Don't die - fight it!_ SOMEBODY GET HELP!"_ But from where? There was nothing to do but watch him die. Chuck. Of all people it had to be the most innocent, the youngest, the one that reminded us of our mums and dads, the one that made you think we might get home.

"Thomas..." Chuck whispered, coughing wet, gurgling coughs. "Find... my mum..." he coughed blood everywhere. "Tell her..."

But he didn't finish. He closed his eyes, and his body went completely and utterly still. What an injustice. He couldn't even finish his last sentence.

Then Tommy sprang forward. He viciously started to choke the unresisting Gally, and it was only then that I realised he really had been controlled... Gally always fought back, no matter what. Tommy's fist smashed again and again into his face, sobbing and screaming at him, his rage making him into a merciless animal. Minho and I rushed forward and dragged him off, with his limbs still flailing, his eyes fixed on Gally's tortured face.

Then he seemed to go still for a second, and threw us off to run to Chuck. He pulled Chuck into his arms, screaming _"No! No! No!"_ which I couldn't bear, because his voice was cracking in such deep sadness you could feel it magnifying around the room. "I promised him!" he screamed, his grief racking his body, turning his voice into pure, raw grief. "I promised I'd save him, take him home! _I PROMISED him!"_

He wept and wept, and I had to turn my head to shed a few tears too. Chuck. Killed, just like that. This world wasn't human.

It was forever. The grief. Crashing over us all. Of the injustice of it all. I looked round to Cece to see her curled up in a corner, and went to sit with her.

It was only then I realised she was having a major panic attack. "Cece?" I asked, then quickly pulled her into me, whispering in her ear. It took ages to calm her down. For a moment I thought she wasn't gonna pull out of it - then she gave a small gasp, and I knew it was going to be okay. But nothing was over. It was all grief. We both wept, silently, for the losses of too many, for Chuck, who died saving Tommy.

It was forever.

Somehow, Tommy pulled himself together. He sat back, and rubbed his face. Teresa helped him up, and he looked at us, pain still etched into his face.

The woman spoke. "All things happen for a purpose." she said, her voice a little softer. "You must understand this." I expected Tommy to spring onto her, but he'd used up all his anger. He merely glared.

Then there was a huge commotion outside. You could see the blood drain from the woman's face, then several people burst in, holding guns, screaming and yelling. One put a gun to the woman's head - _no, he wouldn't_ - BANG. Several shots fired out, and she was dead.

The others shot at the observation windows, then yelled at us to follow him. "No time to explain! Run like your life depends on it, because it does!"

...

We had run, far away from that klunk-hole. Someone drove extremely fast through towns and cities and stuff, but the view was blocked from heavy rain. Everyone was silent. Until, as usual, Tommy started asking questions.

"What's going on?" he asked.

"That's a long story." someone replied, kindly.

"Please. Tell us something." Teresa begged.

The woman sighed, looking at Tommy and Teresa. "It'll take a while before you get your memories back, if ever - we're not scientists, we have no idea what they did to you, or how they did it."

"Who are they?" Tommy pressed.

"It started with the sun flares."

_The Flare._

"What–?" Teresa began, but Tommy shushed her.

"The sun flares couldn't have been predicted. Sun flares are normal, but these were... unprecedented. Massive. Spiking higher and higher - and once they were noticed, it was only minutes before their heat slammed into Earth. First our satellites were burned out, and thousands died instantly, millions within days, countless miles became wastelands. Then came the sickness."

An apocalypse. The Earth... is gone?

"As the ecosystem fell apart, it became impossible to control the sickness - even to keep it in South America. The jungles were gone, but the insects weren't. People call it the Flare now." Celia tensed beside me. "It's a horrible, horrible thing. Only the richest can be treated, no-one can be cured. Unless the rumours from the Andes are true."

"As for you, you're just a few of millions orphaned." _Millions. Of us. People like us._ "They tested thousands, chose you for the big one. The ultimate test. Everything you lived through was calculated and thought through. Catalysts to study your reactions, your brain waves, your thoughts. All in an attempt to find those capable of helping us find a way to beat the Flare."

She paused, tucking her hair behind her ear. "Most of the physical effects are caused by something else. First the delusions start, then animal instincts begin to overpower the human ones. Finally, it consumes them, destroys their humanity. It's all in the brain. The Flare _lives_ in their brains. It is an awful thing. Better to die than catch it."

**Celia's POV**

My hands shook when she explained it all.

My parents. They knew. They knew.

And they walked straight in there. For me. They knew.

"We won't let them do this to children. We've sworn our lives to fighting WICKED. We can't lose our humanity, no matter the end result. You'll learn more in time. We live far in the north. We're separated from the Andes by thousands of miles. They call it the Scorch, the place between. It's centred mainly around what they used to call the equator - it's just heat and dust now, filled with savages consumed beyond help by the Flare. We're trying to cross that land - to find the cure. But until then, we'll fight WICKED and stop the experiments and tests. It's our hope that you'll join us."

She looked away.

For a long, long time, no-one said anything at all. I leaned against Newt, not sure what to make of the world. My parents. I can't even remember them now. But they loved me. I felt whoever had done my memories were cruel. Cruel. I wanted to remember them all. My parents, my ex-friends. But I don't even have that small part of me.

The bus stopped. I could hardly think straight now. It all seemed a bit distant.

We went into some building with lots of windows, and into a huge dormitory. It was too colourful. I didn't like it. But it was clear everyone else thought it was wonderful. "I've been shucked and gone to heaven." Minho said. But I didn't care. It was nice to see colours, but it didn't suit the mood. It didn't suit that we were going to a colourful place when half of us Gladers died, and Chuck. I was almost angry, but too tired to complain.

It was clean. We moved in with new toiletries ("Thank god." Teresa said. "I was getting worried about what I'd do. I didn't exactly want a bloodbath in my pants." she smiled at me. Newt gave us weird looks and rolled his eyes.) and pyjamas. Dinner was of real pizza, which cheered everyone up enormously. Bed. Newt and I were separated, but I crept back when the lights were off. Not particularly because I thought I should, but because I truly needed him. I couldn't sleep without his comforting scent.

For some reason, Teresa was put in a separate room. "Cuz she's a girl." muttered one of the Gladers without thinking. I thunked him on the head.

"Thanks, shuck-face." but I didn't laugh like I would. I just stared.

Right now, it all feels a bit dream-like. People were smiling here. Such a change compared to the doom and gloom of the Maze. Now, things had changed.

But I didn't want to go back to how it was. I didn't want my memories anymore. Even though I wish I remembered my parents, I was scared of the bad things that came with them. Subconsciously, I felt my arm, and it had scratches. It felt weird, mutilated, what used to be so smooth was rough and choppy. But I remember doing it when I was 12, and I remember it feeling wrong too - but it also felt right. It felt like that's how it should be.

"Cece?" whispered Newt. I turned around.

"Hm?"

"I love you." And he kissed me before I could reply, running his fingers lightly through my hair and over my cheeks.

"I love you too." I sighed.

Right now, it all felt like a daze. But Newt would always bring me back. He was always there, my comfort, my world.

END OF THIS BLOODY MAZE

((YES OFC THERE'LL BE A SEQUEL ADUHHH))

**So that ended a bit weirdly XP sorry I'm in a strange mood, it comes through in the writing.**

**SO! We have finished the first part of this fanfiction, and I will be going straight onto the next part, no pause :) so don't worry! In fact I was just writing this authors note and I was like "Wait... OH YEAH THATS THE END WOOT!" so it doesn't really feel like a transition to me.**

**Anyway, PUHHLEAAAZEE FAVE REVIEW ETC! KEEPS ME UPDATING KEEPS ME GOINGG! REVIEW ME ON HOW THE FIRST PART WENT OVERALL. THAT WOULD BE AWESOME. TOO MUCH CAPS. SORRY.**

**I've already written the ending because I couldn't wait, honestly. I can't say much more, except I'm in two minds about it. But we have a looong way to go!**

**See ya :3**

**~mondonxx**

**PS 5K READS GUYS. 5K READS. THANKS SO SO SO SOS OSOS SOSOOSSOSO MUCH!**


	23. AN PLEASE PLEASE READ!

**Hey guys,**

**Thank you so so so much for your reviews! It makes me sing inside :)**

**So I need to think of a title for the sequel... please... I actually need help. Like, I was thinking "This bloody Scorch" but how boring's that?**

**So please please please if you have any ideas review! I'm getting started on the next chapter and it's most likely the first title will get it cuz I do wanna upload this asap... so if you have a title idea that would be awesome!**

**Also, I'm likely to keep the main idea for the cover art, but it won't be EXACTLY the same (Sakura I'm using the original drawing).**

**I will be posting another A/N just to give you the link to the sequel :3 thanks!**

**~mondonxx**


	24. Sequel!

**Hii! SO I've posted the first chapter, please go read it now! It's called Variable Celia, you'll see why ;)**

**Please review and fave and omg everything please please please! The more you do the more I write!**

s/11141511/1/Variable-Celia-A-Newt-Fanfiction

**(paste this after the part in the website)**

**~mondonxx**


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